


The Connie Maheswaran Fanclub (Or: How Connie Became the Most Popular Topic in School After She Pulled a Sword Out of Lion in Front of Literally Everyone)

by CoreyWW



Series: The Connie Maheswaran Fanclub (Main Series and Extra Content) [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous Relationships, Anger, Angst and Humor, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Best Friends, Bisexual Female Character, Bittersweet, Coffee, Comedy, Comic, Conversations, Crushes, Demisexuality, Drama, Dramedy, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fame, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Fights, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Hero Worship, Humor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Introspection, Lies, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Meta, Middle School, Minor Violence, Mommy Issues, Obsession, One-Sided Attraction, Paranormal, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Psychological Drama, Psychological Trauma, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Psychology, Resentment, Romance, Rumors, Sad, School, School Dances, Secrets, Slice of Life, Superheroes, Therapy, Tropes, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-08-08 06:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7746817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connie finds out that pulling swords out of magical animals in a school hallway with everyone watching can cause people to treat you differently ...</p>
<p>A Spinoff/Sequel to the Lion chapter of Xenopology by CompletelyDifferent. A series about Connie dealing with her newfound fame and how it affects her other school friends, Jeff and Peedee, as well as everyone else around her.</p>
<p>(Canon divergent as of Are You My Dad?/I Am My Mom).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fame (Or: How to Become the Most Popular Girl in School Without Really Trying)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CompletelyDifferent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyDifferent/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Xenopology](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6892696) by [CompletelyDifferent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyDifferent/pseuds/CompletelyDifferent). 



> This story was inspired by an extremely well-done fanfic by CompletelyDifferent called Xenopology, of which this fic is listed as a Related Work. It's a story of interconnected one-shots of Connie interacting with a different Gem in each chapter. Specifically, this one is based on the Lion chapter.
> 
> Even though I've tried to make this story stand on its own, I highly recommend reading Xenopology first as it is an extremely good story and well worth the read. And I'd also like to personally thank CompletelyDifferent for her permission and blessing to write this story. I certainly had a lot of fun with it.
> 
> EDIT (11/14/2017): Okay this since got really popular and since I'm doing a second season now, I felt some additional context is required.
> 
> This story is canon-divergent, specifically everything around "Are You My Dad?/I Am My Mom" and Wanted never happened. Specifically I'd say this diverges after Lion 4.
> 
> When this was originally written, Lars's family didn't have a canon last name, but I've since updated all chapters to have the name "Barriga." If you read the old version, just pretend it was always like that.
> 
> It's also important to note that the way this story evolved was that it became more of an ensemble cast, with Connie, Peedee, Steven and Jeff (the kid Connie judo-flipped in Mindful Education) being the main characters). I felt it was important to mention that going in as well. Anyway, for new readers, I hope you enjoy the story.

“So ...” Peedee said as he sat down next to Connie, placing his lunch tray on the cafeteria table. “You’re becoming popular.”

Connie looked up from her salad at Peedee. There was a good-natured smirk on his face. Connie raised an eyebrow and snickered.

“Oh, _yeah_...” Connie gestured to the rest of the table, which was empty aside from them. “I’m clearly the life of the party. Yep.”

Peedee chuckled.

“You might have a point,” Peedee said. “There is the matter of _that_ , though ...”

Peedee nodded his head towards another table in the cafeteria. Connie followed his gaze and saw the table was fully seated by other classmates.

And all of them were _staring_ at Connie.

As soon as Connie made eye contact with one of them (a girl Connie recognized as an _actually_ -popular cheerleader), they all looked away nervously.

Connie glanced around the cafeteria ... and for the first time noticed they were not the only people looking at her. Not _everyone_ in the lunchroom had eyes on her, but quite a few did. And every single one looked away when she caught eyes with them.

Connie blushed.

“O-kay, that’s new ...” She sunk lower in her seat. “Oh God, this is uncomfortable.”

Peedee’s smile dropped.

“Hey, sorry,” Peedee said. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I thought you knew already.”

“How would I know about this?!” Connie said.

“Well, I mean, ever since you pulled that sword out of Lion, you’re all anyone wants to talk about.”

Connie blinked.

“Oh ... oh yeah,” Connie said. She shook her head. “You know, I had almost forgotten I did that.”

Peedee smirked.

“Just another day at the office, huh?” said Peedee.

Connie snorted with laughter. This was why she was glad Peedee went to school with her. He knew Steven, so at least he “got” it.

Peedee picked up a single fry and pointed at Connie with it.

“Now I know that lions and monsters and literally anything Steven does is normal to you and me, but to everyone else, it--” Peedee took a bite of the fry and winced. “Oh wow, that is _awful_. That’s just-- I’m sad. I’m sad _for_ the person who cooked this fry. And I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.”

Connie smiled weakly.

“You can have my salad, if you want,” Connie said.

Peedee’s eyes widened.

“You’re my hero,” Peedee said.

“All in a day’s work, apparently ...”

Connie slid her salad over to Peedee. He pushed his tray towards her, but she had lost her appetite; finding out she was the center of attention made her stomach churn.

“Anyway,” Peedee continued as he picked at the salad with his plastic fork, “I know that weird stuff isn’t a big deal to you or me, but everyone who doesn’t know Steven is under the mistaken impression the world makes some degree of sense.”

Connie laughed. She had to admit, listening to Peedee snark was a little calming.

“I guess I can relate,” Connie said. “I mean, I didn’t always know about all this ...”

“Right,” Peedee said. “So when you’re going through your normal day and your biggest concern is, you know, if you’ll pass a test or if some girl likes you or not ... and then all of a sudden a pink lion shows up out of nowhere and the quiet girl pulls _freaking Excalibur out of its head--_ ” Peedee shrugged. “Well, you know, it gives you a few things to talk about.”

Peedee stabbed a piece of lettuce and ate it.

“So ... people are talking about me?” Connie said, worry clear in her voice. Even though she believed Peedee and witnessed people gawk at her herself, part of her _still_ couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t used to people noticing her existence, let alone talking about her.

Peedee stopped chewing, glancing back at Connie.

“Well ... yeah,” he said, gulping his food down. He turned to Connie with a nervous smile. “B-but it’s nothing bad. Just a little--”

“A little what?!” Connie said, leaning closer to Peedee.

“Just ... _creative_ ,” Peedee said.

Connie rubbed her temple and sighed.

“What _exactly_ are people saying?” Connie said.

Peedee took a deep breath.

“Welllll ....”

* * *

_“Come on, she’s definitely a monster hunter or something.”_

_“Monsters? Come on, there’s no such thing. I haven’t seen a monster my whole life.”_

_“Well, I guess she’s freaking GOOD then, huh?! And yes, you have seen a monster before since WE ALL SAW THAT LION!”_

_“Lions aren’t monster, Dan. Be rational.”_

_“Oh yeah, the lion wasn’t a monster. Sure. And I’m sure the fact it was pink and it has a Bag of Holding in its skull is just, you know, normal lion behavior.”_

_“Well ... I mean, uh ... come on, there’s a lot about lions we don’t REALLY know yet, so--”_

* * *

_“So what kind of bad guys do you think she has?”_

_“I dunno, vampires?”_

_“Don’t be stupid. Would you fight vampires with a_ sword _? Instead of like ..._ any _of the stuff that’s supposed to kill vampires?”_

_“Makes more sense to me than a wooden stake. I mean, why should the fact its wood matter anyway? If it stabs through the heart, wouldn’t it do the same thing?”_

_“I ... guess that’s true ... but why a pink sword though?”_

_“I dunno. Fashion?”_

* * *

_“She’s gotta be some kind of Chosen One or something.”_

_“Chosen by who though?”_

_“I dunno ... whatever magical thing that runs the world?”_

_“Like the Illuminati?”_

_“No, something_ real _.”_

 _“We’re talking about_ magic _, I think we don’t have any right to be discounting what is and isn’t real right now. For all we know all those conspiracy videos on TubeTube were right the whole time!”_

_“... no. I refuse to believe the world is that stupid.”_

_“Okay ... fair. But at least watch THIS one though. This Keep Beach City Weird guy seems like he knows what’s_ really _going on ...”_

* * *

_“I saw her hanging out with this boy the other day.”_

_“Boy? What’s his deal?”_

_“I dunno. He seemed pretty normal ...”_

_“He can’t JUST be normal if he’s hanging out with Maheswaran. Maybe he’s like ... I dunno, a wizard or a werewolf or something.”_

_“Nah, he came off as pretty normal to me. Just a sweet, chubby guy. They looked pretty cute together though. I bet Connie saves him from danger all the time.”_

_“Aww, yeah, you’re right. Or maybe they’re like old childhood friends or something.”_

_“Well, if that’s the case, they’ll definitely end up together. It’s just how these things work, after all.”_

_“Did you take a picture of them? Kinda wondering what that guy looks like.”_

_“Well, no, but I did draw this picture of both of them holding hands together last night ...”_

_“Lindsey, isn’t it kinda weird drawing fan-art of real peop-- oh wow, this is actually really good!”_

_“Thanks! Not to brag, but it’s got thirty-four reblogs, so I’m kind of a big deal ...”_

* * *

_“My sister saw her and her parents eating dinner at that seafood place with a Kaiju four months ago.”_

_“Dude ... man, if you’re gonna just make up crap, at least make it SOUND realistic ...”_

* * *

Connie found herself laughing.

“But that last one _actually_ happened though!” Connie said.

Peedee shrugged.

“See, what did I tell you? Nothing bad,” Peedee said, taking another bite of salad.

Connie shook her head, still chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

“I can’t believe they think I’m the _extraordinary_ one and Steven isn’t,” Connie said. “That’s just ... wow.”

Peedee looked over at her, suddenly serious.

“Connie, you’re a human who learned how to use a sword to fight monsters,” Peedee said. “You _are_ extraordinary.”

Connie stared at him, surprised. After a moment, she smiled.

“That’s ... a really sweet thing to say, Peedee,” Connie said. “Thank you.”

Peedee’s cheeks turned faintly red.

“Well--” Peedee coughed. “I mean, I’m just stating the facts, that’s--”

Nearby, someone in the lunchroom yelled out, “GO TEAM PEEDEE!”

Peedee immediately stood up, glaring in every direction.

“Who said that?” Peedee yelled. “ _WHO SAID THAT_?!”

No one answered. They only heard the loud chatter of the lunchroom in response.

Peedee sat down, his brow furrowed.

“God ... shippers, man ...” he muttered.

Connie snorted with laughter. Peedee seemed to have trouble looking in her general direction.

“Are you still blushing?” Connie teased.

“Shut up,” Peedee said.

Connie was about to say she was only kidding, but was interrupted by a strange sound echoing through the cafeteria. The background noise of her classmates talking faded as everyone noticed the noise. It started faint but slowly got louder ...

 _It sounds like ... a roar_ , Connie thought.

As soon as the thought entered her head, a pink portal opened in the middle of the cafeteria. Lion leaped through with Steven riding its back, clutching Rose’s sheathed sword. Lion hit the ground, skidding to a stop against the tile floor as the portal winked out of existence.

“Whoa whoa _whoa_!” yelled Steven as he toppled over Lion’s mane. He landed on the table where Peedee and Connie were seated, still holding the sword.

“ _Steven_!” Connie yelled, standing up. She looked down at him, making sure he was alright.

But Steven just looked up and beamed at her.

“Hi Connie!” he said cheerfully. His eyes shifted to Peedee. “Hi Peedee!”

“Yo,” Peedee said, not at all surprised by anything that just happened.

“Steven, is everything okay?!” Connie said.

Steven stood up on the table, putting on a serious face.

“The Slinker got out of its bubble!” Steven said loudly.

Connie straightened up. All her prior anxiety melted away as she felt her training take over.

“ _Give me the sword,_ ” Connie said with an edge to her voice.

Steven handed her Rose’s scabbard. Wordlessly, Connie strapped it to her back, making sure the hilt was secured in its sheath.

“Let’s go,” she said.

Steven smiled and held out his hand to her. She stepped onto the table with Steven. Together they jumped on Lion, who had been calmly licking its paw during their entire conversation. Connie landed on Lion’s back, right behind Steven and--

And at this point, Connie noticed that _everyone_ in the cafeteria was staring at her and Steven on Lion.

Connie felt her heart pound, realizing she truly was the center of attention. She looked in the crowd, noticing most of her classmates’ mouths were agape. At least three students were filming her on their phones.

She started feeling uncomfortable ... until somewhere, someone yelled out a loud “ _Whooo_!”

Several other students joined in. Some clapped. As if opening the floodgates, more students yelled out.

“You go, girl!”

“This is _awesome_!”

“WHOO, GO TEAM STEVEN!”

“Aww yeah, _it’s about to go down_!”

“YEAH, go beat some werewolf ass!”

Steven glanced back at Connie, confused.

“Werewolves?” Steven muttered. “What--”

Connie smiled.

“I’ll explain later,” she said.

Steven grinned as well, looking out at the crowd.

“They really seem to like us though, huh?” Steven said.

Connie chuckled. It was weird. Connie had never had a crowd cheer for her like that before.

It actually felt kinda nice.

“Yeah ... I guess they do,” Connie said.

Behind her, she heard Peedee yell out.

“Okay, have fun you kids,” he said. “Try not to stay out too late.”

Connie turned back to Peedee.

“Bye Peedee,” she yelled with a wave.

Peedee nodded towards her.

“Later,” he said. “Go team Stevonnie.”

Connie smirked back at him.

Lion straightened up, scratching its paw on the floor.

Steven waved at the crowd.

“Okay, bye everyone,” Steven said. “I love you!”

Lion roared, its sonic breath opening another bright white portal in front of them, but Connie could hardly hear that over the sound of the crowd going nuts.

 _I could actually get used to this,_ she thought as the rode through the portal.


	2. Meeting New People (Or: How Jeff Learned Getting Your Arm Sprained Can Make You Famous Depending On Who Did It)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after Mindful Education.

Jeff opened his locker awkwardly with one hand. His right arm was still in a sling from the severe sprain Connie gave him. Fortunately, it hardly hurt anymore as long as he didn’t try moving it much.

He pulled out his paper lunch bag and closed the locker ...

Only to notice there were over a dozen kids standing next to him in the hallway. They had appeared out of nowhere and were all staring at him with looks of adoration on their faces.

Jeff’s eyes were wide. He dropped the lunch bag at his side. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever had this much attention.

The crowd remained silent.

Jeff cleared his throat.

“Um ... can I ... help you all?” Jeff asked, his voice shaking.

The crowd seemed taken aback by the question until a blonde girl at the front of the pack spoke.

“Are you Jeff?” she asked.

“Um ... yes?” Jeff said.

The girl’s eyes brightened.

“The same Jeff who got flipped by _the Beach City Lioness_ the other day?!”

“Beach City wha-” Jeff shook his head. “You mean Connie?!”

The blonde girl grinned as the entire crowd whipped into a frenzy. Everyone clustered around him within moments, all yelling at once.

“He got beat up by the Lioness and _lived_! Dude must be _badass_!” someone shouted.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly beat up--” Jeff tried to reply, but it was drowned out by everyone else.

More people shouted.

“I can’t believe she broke your arm! _I’m so jealous_!

“Do you know anything about her boyfriend?!”

“Did she sic the Lion on you?”

“Did she beat you up with her hands or did she use magic?!”

“Connie touched you, I can’t believe it, _please go out with me_!”

“How come you’re not dead? Are you a vampire?! SOMEONE GET HIS BLOOD AND SEE IF IT JUMPS WHEN YOU PUT HEAT TO IT!”

“That’s not vampires! That’s _The Thing_ , stupid!”

“You can never be too careful! HE COULD BE BOTH!”

Before Jeff had time to process what people were saying, a cute boy with blonde hair styled like french fries pushed his way through the crowd.

(Jeff hopefully wondered if he was the one who yelled out the date request, but doubted it ...)

The boy put his hands up and walked next to Jeff.

“Alright alright, settle down everyone,” he said. “I’m Jeff’s agent. Let’s keep this orderly ...”

Jeff whispered to the boy.

“‘Agent?’ What are you--”

The boy’s eyes darted to him. He spoke out the corner of his mouth.

“Play along,” the boy whispered with a wink.

Jeff tried to ignore the feeling of his cheeks blushing and just nodded.

The fry-haired boy raised his voice.

“Alright everyone, requests to speak to Jeff must be submitted in writing from here on out!” the french-fry boy said. “Please direct all inquiries through our publicist. His name is Lars. You can find him over at the Big Donut downtown and he’d just ... just _love_ to answer any questions you might have.”

The crowd raised their collective voice as Peedee yelled over them.

“There will be no further questions at this time!” the fry-haired boy said. “My client has a very important meeting to attend to! Connie is already waiting for him on her Lion out in the parking lot, so--”

The crowd exploded with activity.

“SHE’S IN THE PARKING LOT?!” someone yelled.

“AND SO’S THE LION?!” said someone else.

“ _LET’S GO_!”

They all rushed down the hall as quickly as they had appeared. The sound of bodies banging against the lockers on each side of the narrow hallway echoed for just a moment, until they were gone. No one was  left but Jeff and his “agent.”

The fry boy dusted off his hands and sighed.

“Well, that was easy enough,” he said to Jeff.

Jeff looked in the boy’s hazel eyes.

“Sooo ... I’m guessing Connie’s not in the parking lot, is she?” Jeff asked.

“Nope,” the boy said with a sly smile.

Jeff chuckled. He scratched behind his neck with his free hand.

“Wow,” Jeff said. “Thank you so much, um ...”

“Peedee,” the boy said. He extended his hand.

Jeff stared at it for a second, then shook it. It was hard for Jeff not to feel very, _very_ conscious of how warm and soft Peedee’s hand was ...

“So um ...” Jeff asked. “Is that type of thing normal or--?”

“Of course it’s not normal,” Peedee said, sticking his hands in his pockets. “But neither is anything else around here, so ...”

“Ah,” Jeff said, nodding.

Peedee glanced down at the ground next to Jeff.

“Think you dropped this,” Peedee said as he picked up Jeff’s lunch bag and handed it to him.

“Oh! Right!” Jeff said, taking the bag. “My lunch! T-thank you!”

 _Don’t sound awkward,_ Jeff screamed inside his head. _Don’t sound awkward._

“Boy,” Jeff said, trying to quickly think of something witty, “if I’d have forgotten that I’d ... probably have to ...”

He thought of nothing witty.

“Not ... eat ... I guess?” Jeff finished.

Peedee blinked. Jeff managed a nervous grin, all while wishing that Connie’s flip the other day had _killed_ him just to spare him this moment.

But, to Jeff’s surprise, Peedee smiled back.

“Well, why don’t you come eat that with me and Connie?” Peedee said. “We started eating in the auditorium to avoid ...” Peedee gestured down the hall. “All that.”

“Oh um ...” Jeff gave a sweet smile back. “Thanks, Peedee. That’d be really nice.”

Peedee started walking down the hall. Jeff followed, excited he had someone to each lunch with who apparently didn’t mind what a total dork he was.

“Can’t wait to see the look on Connie’s face when she hears about her new nickname ...” Peedee said.

* * *

Later that day, Ronaldo got a random text during work at the fry-stand. It was from Lars.

The text read “WHAT DID YOUR STUPID BROTHER SAY? WHY ARE THERE A MILLION KIDS HERE ASKING ABOUT LIONS AND MAGIC CRAP?!” followed by a string of swear words separated by no spaces.

Ronaldo decided not to reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Updated 8/28/16] - After careful consideration and a huge fan response, I've decided to make this as ongoingnseries. However, as I stated before, this will not be updated until at least the final chapter of I Want to Understand is done first.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who said they enjoyed this. I literally would not have written more of this if it wasn't for the incredible response inspiring me to get a few more ideas for this. I really appreciate it. Thank you guys.


	3. Neutralizing Conflict (Or: How Dante Realized Being a Middle School Principal Gets Complicated Once Magic is Involved)

Dante Barriga clutched his head as he sat at his office desk. He stared at the intercom seated next to his computer monitor and family picture, unwilling to press the button and get this situation over with.

Today Dante regretted being a middle school principal. He’d been on the phone with parents all day and almost every conversation had been exactly the same ...

_Yes, I’m aware of the video someone posted on TubeTube showing one of our students in our cafeteria carrying a sword and getting on a pink lion._

_No, it is not a cause for alarm. It’s simply a student film._

(It wasn’t and Dante knew that, but it was the best excuse he could come up with).

_Yes, I’m still here. And yes, I’m sure it’s a student film. I thought the fact pink lions don’t actually exist might have been a giveaway._

(Except the one Dante’s son had seen running around with that Steven boy before, but no need to get into all that ...)

_Not to mention the fact I don’t think there’s such a thing as a pink metal to make swords out of. Or the fact that a young girl was holding a gigantic sword with one hand which would be rather difficult if it were real ..._

_No, I have not forgotten about the lion. It’s simply one of our other students in a Japanime cosplay for the purposes of the film._

_Yes, I’m sure it’s cosplay._

_Yes, I’m aware it looks very realistic. We’re proud of the ingenuity of our students._

_No, I don’t know what show the lion is supposed to be from._

_No, I can’t make an educated guess. I don’t watch cartoons._

_... no, I don’t have a_ problem _with animation exactly, it’s just not my thing._

_... well, frankly, that’s not something I feel is necessary to share._

_... romantic comedy movies mostly. I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore, I just pay for Webflix so-- I’m sorry, could we get back on topic please?_

_Yes ... yes, your children are safe here._

_Yes, I’m absolutely sure._

(Dante was ... probably-almost-kinda sure that was true.)

_I’m glad I could address your concerns._

_You’re welcome._

Repeat that same conversation roughly a dozen times with only minor variations and that was pretty much Dante’s day.

He pulled off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had a splitting headache. His stomach felt sour from having to lie to so many parents in one day.

Dante knew he had to do _something_ to address this situation, but he wasn’t sure _what_. At least he had a few moments to collect himself now that the phone had stopped ringing, so--

The phone rang again.

“ _Dammit_!” he shouted.

It took him a moment to register it was not his office phone that was ringing, but his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw Martha’s face pop up.

He shook his head and answered his phone, silencing the cheerful chime.

“ _Hel--_ ” Dante cleared his throat, trying to shake the agitation out of his voice. “Hello, honey.”

“Hi babe,” Martha said over the line.

Dante couldn’t help but smile a little, despite his bad mood.

“Everything alright?” Dante said.

Martha sighed.

“Not really,” she said. “Laramie came home in a bad mood today.”

“Oh,” Dante said. “Well that’s not ... terribly unusual.”

“I know,” Martha said sadly. “I mean even worse than normal. Apparently he’s been hounded at work lately by kids asking if he was a publicist for some girl.”

Dante blinked.

“What?” Dante said.

“Yeah, I know, I don’t know what that’s about either,” Martha said. “They even followed him to his school today. They were asking about lions or something. He was so mad he cut class and came home.”

Dante had to stop himself from groaning. Great. Now an issue he did not want to deal with at work was affecting his personal life.

_Super_.

“I think it was a prank,” Martha went on. “One of the kids mentioned the little Fryman boy started it.”

That actually made a little sense, Dante thought. He was fairly certain the Maheswaran girl was friends with the younger Fryman. He didn’t sound like the pranking type though.

“Poor Laramie ...” said Martha sadly. “I wish he wouldn’t get stressed out so easily. It hurts me to see him like that ...”

“Yeah, I’m not sure where he even--” Dante clutched his head from his pounding headache and slowed down as realized what he was saying. “Where he even ... gets that from ...”

Martha paused.

“Are you alright, sweetie?” Martha said.

Dante shook his head. He put on a big smile.

“What? No, I’m fine,” Dante insisted. He cleared his throat. “D-don’t worry about that. Once I get off work, I’ll get it sorted out. I’ll call Fryman, I’m sure he’ll get it settled.”

“Really? Thank you, honey,” Martha said.

“No problem,” Dante said. It had been a while since Dante and Fryman talked (not since Laramie and Ronaldo had been friends, actually), but Fryman was a reasonable man and was sure he’d reign his boy in. Dante would be nice about approaching the subject though. He didn’t want to come down too hard on the Fryman boys ...

After everything with their mom, well ... they’d be through enough already ...

“So what’s Laramie doing now?” Dante asked.

“Oh, he stormed out a bit ago. I think he was heading to that girl Sadie’s house,” Martha said.

“Oh,” Dante said.

“They ... seem to be hanging out a lot lately. It’s good! Don’t get me wrong. She’ll probably help calm him down from all this.”

“Y-yeah, she seems nice enough.”

There was a brief pause.

“Dante,” Martha said, “d-do you suppose though we should talk to Laramie about, you know ... _protection_?”

“ _Martha_!” Dante exclaimed.

“What? Would you rather he--”

“ _No_ , of course not! I just-- can we please talk about this later?!”

Dante ignored his headache and tried to take deep breaths to calm his rapid heart-rate. He still had to deal with this Maheswaran business; he could at least wait until he got home to have a heart attack.

“Y-you’re right,” Martha said. “Sorry ... I just worry. Ugh ... I need to settle my nerves. Think maybe I’ll call Vidalia, see what she’s doing.”

Dante gulped.

“O-oh?” Dante said, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice. “Vidalia, huh?”

Martha’s tone got more serious. She groaned.

“Dante,” Martha said, “that was over _thirty_ years ago. You and I hadn’t even met yet, she and I are just friends now, calm down.”

“Pfft, _what_?!” Dante said, faking surprise. “No! No ... no ... I know. I-it’s fine. I’m not-- trust me, I am not at all worried about that.”

Dante was very, very much worried about that.

Martha sighed.

“Well ... good,” Martha said. “I’ll see you tonight. Love you.”

“Love you too, Martha,” Dante said, ending the call.

Dante twisted in his chair, his eyes drifting to the picture of his family on his desk. It showed Martha and him holding Laramie when he was a newborn with just a tuff of red hair. He gave a small smile.

_Alright,_ Dante thought, taking a breath. _Time to start doing your job, Dante. No more messing around._

Dante pressed the button on his intercom.

“Will Connie Maheswaran please report to the principal’s office immediately?” Dante said. A moment later, the same message boomed out to the PA system on speakers throughout the school.

* * *

Connie was nervous. She’d never been called to the principal’s office. _Ever_.

It wasn’t difficult for her to figure out why she was called there. As much as she saw it coming, she had hoped maybe there wouldn’t be any consequences.

She stood outside the principal’s office and composed herself.

_Calm down_ , Connie, she told herself. _It’s not like this is scarier than dealing with corrupted Gems, after all._

Then Connie wondered if they had called her parents yet.

And suddenly the situation felt _much_ scarier than dealing with corrupted Gems.

She took a breath then knocked on the door.

“Come in,” the principal called out..

Connie slowly opened the door to see Mr. Barriga sitting at his desk.

“Y-you wanted to see me, Mr. Barriga?” she said.

“Yes,” Mr. Barriga called out. “Please sit down.”

Connie came in, shutting the door softly behind her. There was a plastic chair opposite to Mr. Barriga’s desk that she sat in. She put her hands in her lap, trying not to ignore the nausea washing over her.

At the very least Mr. Barriga didn’t seem mad. His expression seemed neutral. Maybe that meant Connie wasn’t in much trouble ...

... or that he just didn’t care what kind of trouble Connie was in. After all, she didn’t know the principal that well.

Mr. Barriga clasped his hands together as he stared at Connie.

“Ms. Maheswaran,” Mr. Barriga started, “I’m sure you know what this is about already so--”

“Yes,” Connie blurted out as her stomach churned. “And I just want to say I’m really sorry I hurt Jeff!”

Mr. Barriga leaned back.

“Huh?” he said.

“I’m really sorry!” Connie went on, her heart racing, unable to stop. “It was just an accident, I felt so bad when it happened, I already apologized to him and everything! We’re friends now and I already told my parents and everything just ... just please don’t suspend me!” Connie’s voice cracked slightly. “I’ve never been suspended before, I’m not even sure my parents would know how to handle it, and then it’ll be on my permanent record forever and I’ll never get into college or graduate school and _then I’ll never be able to run for public office_ or--”

Mr. Barriga’s eyes bulged as he put his hands up.

“Whoa whoa, just ... slow down,” Mr. Barriga said. “What are you talking about?”

Connie froze.

“This ... isn’t about that?” Connie said.

“ _No_!”

“But, then what is this about?”

“What is it ab--” Mr. Barriga shook his head, dumbfounded. “ _You brought a sword and a lion into a public school_!”

Connie considered for a moment.

“Oh ...” Connie said. “Right ... that did happen.”

“Thank you _, I am well aware_!” Mr. Barriga said.

Connie’s eyes went wide. As silly as it sounded, this was the first time she had truly realized the true gravity of what had happened.

Most of the school saw her holding a _weapon_ and riding a _wild animal_.

Her nausea intensified.

“Oh my gosh,” Connie said as the blood drained from her face. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize what I was doing. This ...” She covered her face. “God, this is a big deal, isn’t it?”

Mr. Barriga took a breath and, oddly enough, seemed calm.

“Well, it is something I have to address,” he said. “I’ve been dealing with calls from parents all day who’d seen the TubeTube video.”

Connie looked up, glaring.

“ _There’s a TubeTube video now_?!” she said.

“I’m afraid so,” Mr. Barriga said. He adjusted his glasses and turned his chair towards his computer monitor. He clicked his mouse. “In fact, I’ll just pull it up here and ... oh, hang on ... an ad.”

He settled in his chair.

“There-- there’s usually a skip button, there isn’t one now though ...” he muttered.

“S-sometimes they don’t let you,” Connie said.

“I see.”

Mr. Barriga thumped his finger on the desk for a moment while Connie shifted awkwardly in her chair .

About thirty second later, Mr. Barriga leaned forward.

“Al-right, here we go,” he said.

He turned the computer monitor towards Connie. She recognized the content of the video immediately. It was the scene from the cafeteria a few weeks ago, when she took the sword from Steven and left with him on Lion’s back. They disappeared moments later as Lion charged into its portal.

The video had over thirty thousand views and was titled “BEACH CITY BADASS RIDES A LION INTO TIME PORTAL [ORIGINAL].”

Connie rubbed her temple.

“... for the record, it wasn’t a time portal,” Connie said. “It was just the regular kind.”

“Good to know, but that wasn’t the part most parents were concerned about,” Mr. Barriga said.

Connie couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Am I ... Am I going to go to jail?” Connie said. “I don’t-- oh god, I can’t believe--”

“Ms. Maheswaran, relax,” Mr. Barriga said calmly, putting his hand up. “I’ve spent the day very exhaustedly explaining to concerned parents that this was just a student film. And I haven’t made this situation a police matter.”

Connie straightened up.

“What?” Connie said. “But ... why?!”

Mr. Barriga adjusted his glasses.

“Well, several reasons,” Mr. Barriga said. “First of all, I think we can agree this situation falls outside normal circumstances. Not everyone in the school necessarily lives in Beach City, but those of us that _do_...” Mr. Barriga gestured to himself then Connie. “Well ... we know normal rules sometimes get thrown out the window.”

Connie blinked.

“How much do you know about, you know ...” Connie struggled. “Magic stuff, sir?”

“I know I had to evacuate my family out of the city when a giant hand dropped out of space and that my son was possessed by your boyfriend for a day. Seems enough to not to be surprised by pink lions.”

“Oh, I guess that makes--” Connie blushed. “Wait, _boyfriend_?”

“In any event,” Mr. Barriga continued as if he hadn’t heard Connie, “aside from my personal wishes, there are certain ... _instructions_ set in place by our mayor for any event involving ‘magic stuff’ as you put it.”

“Oh? L-like what?”

Mr. Barriga reached in a desk drawer and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He slid it over to Connie.

“See for yourself,” he said.

Connie looked at the paper. It was printed on official stationary from Mayor Dewey, letterhead and all. It was a memo with the subject “INSTRUCTIONS FOR EMERGENCY PROCEDURES REGARDING ANY UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENA IN AND AROUND BEACH CITY.”

The actual content of the memo sounded much less formal. It read, in its entirety:

_Just keep everyone calm and stay out of the magical ladies’ way._

_Really. Just stay out of their way._

_If you see something dangerous and the magical ladies aren’t there, call 911. But honestly, the big one always seems to know when bad stuff is about to happen so usually you don’t even have to do that._

_Thank you._

_Vote Mayor Dewey._

It ended with Mayor Dewey’s signature.

“Were you supposed to show me that?” Connie asked.

“Probably not,” Mr. Barriga said and he put the paper back in his drawer. “But as you can see, I would say this falls under ‘unexplained phenomena.’ And I wouldn’t want to go against an order from the mayor, so I kept everyone calm. And besides all that ... it would be quite a waste to involve the police and jeopardize the future of a great student such as yourself when, from what I can see, there was no malicious intent.”

Connie shook her head.

“Wait, so ... I’m not in trouble?” Connie said.

“Right now, no,” Mr. Barriga said. “But it is still important we have a talk ...”

He cleared his throat and thumped his finger on the desk.

“Ms. Maheswaran,” he said in a measured tone. “I’m going to do something I rarely do with students and just speak in the most frank manner possible. Would that be alright with you?”

“O-okay.”

Mr. Barriga widened his eyes and raised his voice.

“ _You can’t just bring swords and lions into school, Connie!_ ” he said.

“I know ...” Connie said, shrinking in her chair.

“I know you know but ... Connie, you got very, _very_ lucky no one’s kneejerk reaction was to call the police. As annoying as I’m sure all this attention is--”

Mr. Barriga tapped on his computer monitor at TubeTube video player.

“--having all our students adore you is the best possible end result that could have happened,” he said. “It could have been worse. A lot worse.”

Connie nodded sadly.

Mr. Barriga sighed.

“I believe I’ve done a fair enough job putting out this fire, but if you pull a stunt like this again, you might not be so lucky. And if the police do get involved, and if ... God forbid, if a student gets hurt--”

“I wouldn’t let that happen!” Connie blurted out.

“I know, I know. But _if_ someone did ...” Mr. Barriga leaned back in his chair. “There’s only so much I can do to help you, Connie. Please don’t put yourself in this position again. Off school grounds, you do what you need to do to protect the Earth from ... aliens? It is aliens, right?”

Connie nodded. Mr. Barriga gave a short nod in agreement.

“Right. But leave that business out of these halls. At least in terms of bringing weaponry here. And ... _pets_.” Mr. Barriga exhaled. “Are we clear, Ms. Maheswaran?”

Connie nodded silently. Her cheeks were flushed red, too embarrassed to speak.

“Good,” Mr. Barriga said. “You can return to class now.”

Connie didn’t get up right away. She felt like all the energy had been drained out of her.

“Um ... Ms. Maheswaran?” Mr. Barriga said.

“I’m sorry,” Connie said.

“Come again?”

Connie ran a shaky hand through her hair.

“You’re right,” she whispered. “I _did_ get lucky. Someone really could have gotten hurt if I wasn’t careful, but at the time, I never even thought ...” Connie gave a bitter laugh. “I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

Mr. Barriga stared at Connie. He was still for a moment before he got a serious look in his eyes.

“Connie, you’re not stupid,” Mr. Barriga said. “You’re one of our brightest students. And I truly believe what you are doing outside of school, whatever that entails, is for a good purpose.” He groaned. “I know I had to lay down the law pretty hard there, but I hope you understand I do it out of a desire to protect my students and make sure a young lady doesn’t do anything to jeopardize the bright future she clearly deserves.”

Connie looked up, stunned by his words.

Mr. Barriga shrugged.

“At least, that’s how I feel about it,” he said.

“You ... you really mean that?” Connie said.

He nodded.

“I don’t lie to students, Ms. Maheswaran. That’s the guidance counselor's job.”

Connie snorted. She rubbed her eyes and smiled.

“T-thanks, Mr. Barriga. I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

To Connie’s surprise, Mr. Barriga smiled as if he had won an award.

“That’s ... that’s certainly a nice thing to hear,” he said. “Thank you.”

Connie got up from the chair to exit the office. But as she reached for the doorknob, Mr. Barriga called out.

“Oh, one more thing,” he said. “If you see your friend, the Fryman boy, please tell him not to play anymore jokes at my son’s expense.”

Connie turned back, bewildered.

“Huh, what are you--”

“He’ll know what it means,” Mr. Barriga said, holding up his hand. “Honestly, it’s not a big deal. I’m sure my son’s already gotten over it ...”

* * *

“Ohhh Laramie~” called out Martha as she walked up the ladder to the attic, holding a brown paper bag. She put on the most cheerful voice she could. “Everything alright?”

When she pulled herself up to the attic floor, Laramie laid on his bed with his face buried in a pillow.

“Go. Away,” he said into the pillow, his tone bitter.

Martha frowned.

“Oh ... I’m sorry, Lara--”

“It’s Lars,” he said, still not lifting his head.

“R-right, Lars,” she said. She walked over to his bed. “I had hoped you might feel better after coming back from your friend Sadie’s.”

Lars paused.

“Maybe a little,” he admitted. “It was kinda fun ‘til she had to bail.”

Martha nodded, wringing the paper bag in her hands.

“Soooo ...” Martha said. “What exactly did you two do?”

“I dunno. Stuff.”

“Right ...” Martha lowered her voice. “Right ... ‘ _stuff_.’”

Martha cleared her throat, then tried to return to the carefree tone she had originally.

“W-well, Lara-- Lars, I just ...” Martha coughed. “I was just out at the grocery store with Vidalia annnnd I was thinking of you and I just ... got you some things.”

Lars finally raised his head from his pillow to look at Martha. Martha’s cheeks hurt from the grin she was forcing.

His eyes drifted to the paper bags.

“Oh ...” Lars reached up for the bag and pulled it down. “Well ... thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” Martha said. Her heart was pounding in his chest.

Lars opened the paper bag.

“So are these like snacks or--” Then Lars looked inside the bag and immediately dropped it on the floor, recoiling in horror. “What the fu-- _ARE THOSE CONDO_ \--?!”

“Now Laramie, calm down,” Martha said. “I just thought with all the time you’re spending with your friend Sadie that you might benefit from some--”

“OH _GOD_!”

“Honestly, it’s perfectly natural as long as the proper precautions are--”

“ **OH GOD**!” Lars’s eyes were bulging as he struggled to put words together. “I’m not-- Why would you even-- _WHY DID YOU BUY SO MANY_?!”

“Well, I wasn’t sure how active you--”

Lars immediately put his hands to his ears and yelled.

“ _LA LA LA, NOT LISTENING!_ NOPE! _NOPE_!” he shouted.

“Lars--” Martha called out, but Lars had already sprinted down the ladder, nearly tripping along the way.

Martha stood in the attic as she heard the front door open and slam.

She sighed before picking the brown bag off the floor and placing it on Lars’s bed.

It was still better he had them just in case, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The general inspiration for Martha and Dante's personalities as well as the headcanon for Martha and Vidalia's past relationship, comes with permission from a fanfic called [Attic Crawl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7757047) by my good friend [BarracudaHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarracudaHeart/pseuds/BarracudaHeart). If you enjoyed how Lars's family was written in this chapter, I highly recommend checking out that fic as well since it was a big influence.


	4. Coffee Break (Or: How A Secret Identity Can Be Harder to Maintain Than You'd Think Especially If That Secret Identity is a Fusion)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: A brief instance of implied homophobia

“This ‘being famous’ thing is getting a little exhausting,” Connie said as she ate her salad.

Peedee, Jeff, and Steven sat around her in a circle in the dim light of the auditorium stage. Connie and her friends had been eating lunch there for the past few weeks. Ever since the incident in the cafeteria, Steven had also started visiting Connie during lunchtime (though, by Connie’s request, he made sure to keep Lion just outside school grounds). Connie was glad to have their company; she wasn’t sure how she’d have kept her composure without them.

“Yeah, I can kinda see that after the whole principal’s office thing,” Peedee said, folding his arms.

Steven hung his head down, a small bag of Cheesy Chaaaaps in his hand.

“I still can’t believe you almost got in trouble,” Steven said. “This whole thing is my fault!”

Connie dropped her fork and looked up.

“What?! No, Steven please.” Connie reached over and laid her hand on his. “It’s not your fault. It’s okay.”

“But if it wasn’t for me, you--”

“Steven, stop. Everything turned out okay, and besides ...” She brushed her thumb against the top of his hand. “Whatever happens, we deal with it together, okay?”

Steven glanced up, a small smile creeping on his face.

“ _Take a moment to think of just~ flexibility, love, and trust~_ , right?” Steven said, in a sing-song voice.

Connie smiled back at him.

“Guys, guys,” Peedee said, snapping Connie out of her trance. “Calm down, you’ll break Jeff.”

Connie looked at Jeff, seated next to Peedee, whose eyes were as wide as saucers.

“ _Oh my god, you guys are so adorable, it’s unreal_ ,” Jeff said quietly.

Connie gulped. Her eyes met Steven. He was blushing just like she was. She pulled her hand back as they both looked away awkwardly.

“No no! It’s fine!” Jeff said. “I mean that as a good thing! I was just ...” He laughed. “Wow, are you guys always this cute together?”

“Yeeeep,” Peedee said. “You should see the fanart.”

Jeff’s head snapped towards Peedee.

“ _There’s fanart_?!”

Connie put her hand to her face.

“Ugh ... there is, yeah,” Connie said. “That--that’s part of what I meant about the fame thing getting out of hand.”

Connie sighed and stabbed her fork into the salad.

“I mean,” she said, “it was really cool at first, and in some ways it still is. I’m glad people like me so much ... but now it’s like I can’t even walk around the halls without people noticing me.” Connie looked up from her salad. “This morning I was trying to get my books out of my locker and a girl asked me to sign her face with a permanent marker. And I was in huge rush _so I did!_ ”

Peedee flinched.

“Oooh, that’s rough,” said Peedee. “You know, that stuff does wash off ... eventually.”

“Still!” Connie said. “I’m actually kinda starting to miss when no one ever noticed me ...”

Steven put his hand to his chin.

“If only there was some way you could walk around school without people realizing you were you,” Steven said. “Like a disguise or something.”

“Yeah, something like that,” Connie said. “Or like a--”

Jeff’s eyes brightened.

“Or like a secret identity!” Jeff said.

Steven smiled.

“You mean like a superhero?” Steven said.

Jeff grinned.

“Yeah, exactly! Just like--” Jeff paused. “Actually, hang on for a second!”

Jeff ran over to the corner, where he had left his backpack. A moment later, he returned holding a huge stack of trade-paperback comic collections. He dumped them in the middle of the circle.

Steven’s mouth was agape.

“ _COMICS_!” Steven shouted.

“Yep!” Jeff said, elated. “I have a ton of them at home, _especially_ superhero comics!”

Connie looked at the stack.

“Wow ... and you just carry this many around at school all the time?” Connie said.

“Of course,” Jeff said. “What else is a boy with no social skills supposed to do when he’s bored during class?”

Peedee gave a small smile.

“Oh come on, you’re talking with us just fine. You have social skills,” Peedee said.

Jeff’s cheeks turned red before he gave a nervous laugh.

“Heh, w-well, I’m glad I can at least fake being interesting fairly well, hehe,” Jeff said. He scratched the back of his neck. “B-but yeah, I have a ton of these things! I love comics. I used to want to take drawing lessons to be an illustrator when I grow up ...” Jeff’s smile fell. “But ...”

Connie frowned. Steven and Peedee looked concerned as well.

“But what?” Peedee said.

Jeff shook his head, his eyes downcast.

“It-- It’s nothing, just--”

“No, come on,” Peedee said, “what’s wrong?”

Jeff rubbed his forehead.

“... well, back when my dad _was_ around,” Jeff said, “I guess he thought a hobby like that wasn’t ... I dunno ... _tough_ enough for me, so I wasn’t allowed to take lessons or anything ...”

Peedee glared, his expression darkening.

“ _What_?” he said, with an edge to his voice. “Your dad didn’t like that you wanted to draw?”

Jeff gave a bitter laugh.

“My dad didn’t like _a couple_ things about me,” he said. He was smiling, but it was obviously forced.

Peedee didn’t smile back. He looked more serious than Connie had ever seen him before. In fact, his expression was so angry he hardly looked like himself.

Steven frowned, a tender look in his eyes.

“I’m ... I’m really sorry, Jeff,” Steven said.

“Yeah,” Connie said, wishing there was more she could say.

“I--it’s fine though,” Jeff said. “He’s not really in the picture anymore ...”

Peedee glanced down.

“Hmph ... good riddance,” Peedee said.

Steven’s eyes went wide.

“Peedee, that’s--”

“No, screw that!” Peedee said, shaking with anger. “Parents shouldn’t treat their kids like that! It’s freaking ...” Peedee trailed off, covering his face. He took a breath then lowered his voice. “It’s bullcrap ...”

Jeff looked to Peedee, confused. He hesitantly reached out and touched Peedee’s shoulder.

“Are you al--”

“I’m fine,” Peedee said. “It’s fine.”

Peedee gently brushed Jeff’s hand off his shoulder. He closed his eyes and exhaled. A moment later, when he opened his eyes, he seemed like his old self again, like nothing had happened.

“So, we were talking about secret identities or--” Peedee said.

“Huh?” Jeff said. “ _Oh_! Yeah, so um ...”

Jeff spread out his stack of graphic novels.

“There’s like a million different secret identities superheroes have,” Jeff said, turning to Connie. “I’m sure you could get a great idea for an alter-ego from one of these.”

“Hey, yeah ...” Steven said, looking through the comics. “Oooh, like this one!” He picked up a comic with a green-skinned woman in a suit and held it up to Connie. “You could pretend to be a high-powered lawyer who don’t need no man!”

“Steven, I’m twelve,” Connie said with a laugh.

“But you’re advanced! It checks out!”

Connie shook her head with a smile.

“Also that’s kind of a bad example cause everyone knows she’s a superhero,” Jeff mumbled. Jeff picked up a trade from elsewhere in the stack. “This is more our speed. This one just pretends to be a normal, kinda awkward high school student ...”

“That would work except my ‘superhero’ identity IS a normal, kinda awkward student who just happens to use a sword,” Connie said.

Jeff flushed.

“Oh yeah. Um ...”

Peedee raised an eyebrow as he picked up a comic from the stack.

“Who’s this guy?” Peedee said.

The comic Peedee picked up showed a man with a solid black costume covering his entire body. He also wore a blood-red cape and dozens of impractical chains hanging from his body.

Jeff rolled his eyes.

“Oh, _him_ ,” Jeff said. “That’s just Edgelord.” Jeff hid his face from view. “I--I went through a phase ...”

“What’s his secret identity?” Peedee asked.

“Well, he got superpowers after he died, so I guess his alter-ego would be a corpse,” Jeff chuckled.

Peedee paused.

“You know what though?” Peedee said. “That’s a pretty foolproof secret identity.”

“It sorta is, I guess,” Jeff said. Then he muttered something that sounded like, “The action figures are still pretty cool though ...”

Connie sighed. This wasn’t going anywhere.

“Look, I appreciate the thought,” she said, “but there isn’t really a good secret identity for a twelve year old ... especially when everyone knows my real name and what I look like! It’s not like I can just completely change how I look or anything.”

Steven frowned.

“Yeah,” he said. “I guess there isn’t a way to--”

Steven’s head shot up. His lips curled into a grin.

“Um ... Steven?” Connie asked. “Is everything okay--”

Steven grabbed Connie by the shoulders and shook her.

“Connie! I’ve got it!” Steven said. “You don’t NEED to think of a secret identity to hide from people! _You already have one_!”

“Huh?” Connie said. “Steven, what are you talking--”

“ _Stevonnie_.”

Connie blinked, then smiled back.

“Oh my gosh, _I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that_!” Connie said, astounded. She grabbed the sides of Steven’s face. “ _Steven, you’re a genius_! I bet I’d have no problem leaving school that way! Would you be okay if we tried that today or--?”

“Of course! Whatever you want!” Steven said.

Peedee smacked his forehead.

“Oh, of course ...” he muttered. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of suggesting Stevonnie.”

“Yes! Of course! _Stevonnie_!” Jeff said, raising his hands in the air. After a moment, he added. “ _Who_ is Stevonnie?”

Connie opened her mouth to answer ... but stopped.

“You know what?” Connie said. “It might be easier if we just show you.” She turned to Steven. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course!” Steven said.

Steven and Connie got up and took a few steps away from Jeff and Peedee.

Connie heard Jeff lean to Peedee and ask, “What are they doing?”

“Just watch,” Peedee whispered back.

Steven and Connie smiled at each other. It was a little embarrassing to Connie that even after this long, dancing with Steven still made her giddy.

Steven held out his hand. Connie took it. She felt goosebumps on her arms as she did.

Connie placed one hand on Steven’s hip. They started to move back and forth slowly. It was only seconds before Steven’s Gem started to glow underneath his shirt.

Connie’s vision was engulfed in pink light ...

* * *

The first thing Stevonnie heard as their eyes popped open was Jeff yelling “ _WHOA_!”

Stevonnie looked down at Jeff, who was staring up at them, astonished.

Stevonnie grinned.

“Pretty cool, right?!” Stevonnie said.

“‘Pretty cool?!’” Jeff said. “ _That was amazing!_ You both can just become an adult whenever you want?!”

“Um ... yeah, I guess,” Stevonnie said with a laugh. Stevonnie had never considered themself an “adult” exactly, but they certainly passed for one.

“That’s ... that’s awesome!” Jeff shouted. “Don’t you realize the possibilities?!” Jeff raised his arms. “You could go into R-rated movies and buy mature-rated games _whenever you want_!”

Peedee snickered.

“Reaching _high_ for the possibilities there, huh Jeff?” Peedee said.

“What? It’s what I would do,” Jeff said.

Stevonnie frowned. Their cheeks flushed. They could feel Steven’s feelings stirring up.

“I--I don’t really like blood and guts and stuff,” Stevonnie said. They felt Steven’s words coming through their mouth when they added, “My life’s kinda intense enough already without that.”

“Oh,” Jeff said. “Well, that’s still really cool that you can do that!”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ll have a problem sneaking out of school now,” Peedee said. “As far as I know, nobody around school really knows about ... well, you.”

“Well, that’s good,” Stevonnie said. “I might still want to go for a test drive in the halls a bit, just to make sure I don’t get a strong reaction.”

“Hm ...” Peedee rubbed his chin. “That might be a smart idea, just to be safe.”

“Besides,” Stevonnie said, looking at their hand and smiling. “It would be sort of a waste not to enjoy being fused a bit.”

Peedee laughed.

“Yeah, totally not sure where all that shipping comes from, not at all,” he said.

Stevonnie blushed.

“H-hey! That’s not--”

Peedee just put his hands up.

“I’m not here to judge,” Peedee said. “You guys have fun. Did you want us to come with or--”

Stevonnie almost said yes, but they looked over at Jeff sitting next to Peedee, clearly enjoying himself. Both Connie and Steven had the same thought.

“Well ... a-actually,” Stevonnie said, clearing their throat, “why don’t you two just stay here and enjoy the rest of lunch? It can’t be that much fun to follow me around. B--besides, it might blow our cover since lots of people know you guys are friends with Connie.”

Peedee considered for a minute.

“Yeah, I guess that’s a good point.” He shrugged. “Okay. That’s cool. Guess we’ll just talk about comics some more. I was having fun with that anyway.”

Jeff’s cheeks got slightly red.

“Y-you were?” Jeff said. “It wasn’t boring?”

“Of course not, dude,” Peedee said. “You’re not boring.”

Jeff’s cheeks got redder. If Peedee noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Stevonnie tried as hard as they could not to grin as they stepped off the auditorium stage.

“Weeeellll, I should be going,” Stevonnie said. “Have fun you two.”

“O-okay,” Jeff said quietly.

As Stevonnie walked away, they faintly heard Jeff and Peedee speaking, but couldn’t make out what was said.

Stevonnie could hear Steven and Connie’s voices inside their head.

_... they seem cute together,_ Connie thought.

_I KNOW!_ Steven thought; Stevonnie practically saw the stars in his eyes.

Stevonnie couldn’t help but giggle.

* * *

Stevonnie wasn’t exactly invisible when they wandered the halls. Students noticed them, turned their heads as they walked, but no one spoke to them.

They heard one boy say, “Wow, check out that piercing.”

_Piercing?_ Stevonnie thought.

_They mean our Gem,_ Connie thought in answer.

_Oh._

Stevonnie smiled. This was going well. Granted, they weren’t completely unnoticed, but they were able to move without making a scene.

Stevonnie could feel that was a huge relief to Connie, which was great; making Connie was happy was all Stevonnie (and Steven) wanted out of this.

After a short while walking the halls, Stevonnie thought they should find somewhere safe to change back. After all, lunch would be over soon and Connie would need to get back to class.

Stevonnie heard Connie groan internally.

_This sucks,_ Connie thought. _Being close to Steven is way better than Speech class._

In response, Steven thought, _Um ... you do know I could hear that, right?_

Stevonnie blushed.

_... I do now,_ Connie thought bashfully.

Before either of their components could think of anything else embarrassing, Stevonnie began to look around. They didn’t want to head back to the auditorium to separate, not after going to all that effort to leave Peedee and Jeff alone together.

“Hm ...” Stevonnie whispered. “I guess we could head to the bathroom or--”

Stevonnie stopped as their eyes drifted to a door in the hallway that said “TEACHER’S LOUNGE.”

_What’s that?_ Steven thought.

_Oh, that’s the teacher’s lounge,_ Connie thought. _Teachers go there when they need a break from their high-stress, low-pay jobs!_

_Oooh, neat! What do they do there?_

_Um ... I dunno,_ Connie thought. _Probably just drink coffee or whatever._

Stevonnie’s eyes brightened.

_Coffee?!_ Steven thought. _I’ve never had that! It’s so adult!_

_I um ... I never tried it either,_ Connie admitted. _Mom kinda said I wasn’t allowed to have coffee._

Stevonnie felt themself grin.

_Diiiiid she say_ Stevonnie _couldn’t have coffee?_ Steven thought, mischievously.

_Yes,_ Connie thought. _Yes she did, actually._

_Oh._ Steven’s thoughts were quiet for a moment, then he added, _Wanna try coffee anyway?_

_YES!_ Connie thought, way too excited.

Stevonnie put their hand on the door. This was fine. After all, Stevonnie needed a place to separate anyway. If they just _happened_ to try coffee in the same place, it wasn’t anyone’s business.

Stevonnie cracked the door open. The room looked empty, so they quietly snuck in.

It was a modest room. A small TV hung against the wall. There was circular table, a refrigerator, a counter with a coffee maker and a toaster on it, and ... and not much else, honestly.

Not that that seemed to matter much to Steven.

_Wow, you can make toast at work!_ Steven thought. _BEING A TEACHER MUST BE AWESOME!_

Stevonnie snorted with laughter.

They went over the coffee maker. It looked like there was half a pot of coffee left.

“Oooh, awesome,” Stevonnie said. This was helpful since they had no idea how a coffee maker actually worked.

They reached in the cabinets and found a styrofoam cup. They poured a cup of coffee, sat down at the table, and grinned.

“Al-right! This is gonna be great!” Stevonnie chugged the black coffee down.

A second later, Stevonnie involuntarily spat it out all over the table. They went into a coughing fit.

_Oh god, I’m sorry!_ thought Steven. _I didn’t mean to make a mess, that was just the worst thing I’ve ever tasted!_

You _made a mess? I thought_ I _was the one who spat it out!_ thought Connie.

Stevonnie shook their head.

“Nevermind,” Stevonnie said. “Let’s just clean this up ...”

Stevonnie started searching the bottom cabinets for napkins when the door opened. Stevonnie grimaced and froze as Lars’s dad--Mr. Barriga--walked in.

“Ugh,” he said as he entered. “What a day, I--” Mr. Barriga’s eyes widened as he saw Stevonnie.

For a minute, Stevonnie couldn’t move or say anything. They were so startled they almost felt themself become undone ... but Mr. Barriga’s eyes moved past them to the mess on the table.

“Oh my, what happened here?!” Mr. Barriga said.

“I--I’m so sorry,” Stevonnie said, their voice cracking. “I made a mess. I’m really sorry, I--”

“No no, don’t worry about it,” Mr. Barriga said. He strode over to the cabinets and within seconds pulled out a roll of paper towels.

“Oh, please let me do that, sir,” Stevonnie said. “I--”

“No no, I got it,” Mr. Barriga said. He started wiping the table. “No big deal. Spills happen.”

“Well I uh ...” Stevonnie cleared their throat. “I kinda spat it out.”

Mr. Barriga turned to them and raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” he said.

“ _I’m sorry!”_ Stevonnie said, touching their shoulder awkwardly. “I didn’t expect the coffee to taste that bad!”

To Stevonnie’s surprise, Mr. Barriga snickered at that.

“Well ... the store brand is the only kind we can afford with our budget,” he said. “But you’re right, it tastes like recycled pond water. It’s tolerable with enough sugar in it.”

“You can put sugar in it?” Stevonnie said.

Mr. Barriga laughed harder.

“Wow, sounds like you were raised tough,” he said. “Give me a moment.”

In a few short minutes, the mess was wiped up. Mr. Barriga went over to the coffee maker. He pulled creamer and sugar from the cabinets and made another cup.

“Here you go,” he said, handing it to Stevonnie. The coffee looked light brown instead of black.

Stevonnie took the cup and stared at it. After a moment, they gingerly took a sip ...

Miraculously, it didn’t taste that bad. It wasn’t _good,_ but Stevonnie could stand drinking it.

“That’s a lot better, actually,” Stevonnie said.

Mr. Barriga shrugged and sat at the seat across from them, a cup of his own in his hand.

“Well, when I was a boy I learned how to salvage the cheap food.” He took a sip of his coffee. “So, which volunteer group are you with?”

Stevonnie put their cup down and shook their head.

“Sorry?”

Mr. Barriga smiled.

“Well, you’re obviously a high school student, so you must be with one of their volunteer groups if you’re here. I can never keep track of which one is supposed to be here any given day--”

“Oh,” Stevonnie coughed. “Um. Yeah. I’m with um ...”

_Uhhhh ..._ Connie thought nervously.

_I’m sorry, I got nothing, Connie,_ Steven thought. _I don’t know how school works!_

_UHHH ..._

“I’m ...” Stevonnie stammered. “I-I’m with D.A.R.E.E. Heh ... y-you know? Say no to drugs and ... stuff ...”

“Ah, I see.” Mr. Barriga nodded. “Very noble.”

Mr. Barriga thumped his fingers on the table.

“You know,” Mr. Barriga said, “you look familiar ...”

Stevonnie let out a nervous laugh.

“D-do I?” Stevonnie said.

“Yes. Were you ever a student here?”

“Um ...”

_Oh, this is the worst,_ Connie thought. _I don’t wanna lie to Mr. Barriga. He’s actually really nice!_

_I know, he seemed like it when I was in Lars’s body too,_ Steven thought. Stevonnie could almost hear Steven sigh. _Don’t worry, Connie. You won’t have to lie. Let me do the talking._

And for a moment, Stevonnie could feel Steven take over.

“I-I can honestly say I have never been a student here!” Steven said awkwardly through Stevonnie’s mouth.

Stevonnie understood why right away; it wasn’t _technically_ a lie if Steven said it. Stevonnie took another hesitant sip of coffee.

Mr. Barriga raised an eyebrow.

“Hm ... must be something else then.” Mr. Barriga rubbed his chin. “You wouldn’t happen to be related to a Connie Maheswaran would you?”

Stevonnie nearly spat out their coffee again. Thankfully, they managed to only let out a raspy cough.

“ _Pardon_?” Stevonnie said.

Mr. Barriga shook his head.

“Nevermind, I can see I’m making you uncomfortable with all these questions. I apologize.” He chuckled. “You just looked like one of our gifted students.”

Stevonnie’s curiosity was peaked.

“Gifted?” Stevonnie asked. They suppressed the urge to smile. It was hard for Connie herself not to feel a little flattered hearing that. “Gifted how?”

“Ah,” Mr. Barriga finished his coffee. “Well ... there’s not really much to say other than she’s one of our brightest. You know ...” Mr. Barriga gave a bitter chuckle. “One of the students who actually makes you proud to be an educator.”

Stevonnie simply stared, unblinking.

Mr. Barriga placed the cup on the table and waved his hand.

“Sorry for rambling on,” Mr. Barriga said. “It’s just been one of those days, so--”

Unable to contain themself any longer, Stevonnie blurted out, “ _I’m so sorry!_ ”

“Huh?” Mr. Barriga said.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Steven,” Stevonnie said, standing up from the table. They could hear their voice distort, but they couldn’t help it. “I can’t do this anymore, he’s too nice, I can’t keep lying!”

“What are you--?”

Before Stevonnie could have had a chance to answer, their vision went white--

* * *

And a moment later, Connie and Steven were both separated, falling on the floor.

“WHAT THE--?” Mr. Barriga shouted, his eyes wide. It seemed to take him a minute to understand what had happened. His eyes drifted to Connie.

Connie rubbed her temple. Her eyes were stuck to the floor, unable to look him in the eye.

“Um ... sorry, sir,” Connie said.

Mr. Barriga simply stared, clearly unsure what to say.

Steven slowly rose to his feet next to Connie. He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um ... hi, Mr. Lars’s Dad,” Steven said, giving a small wave. “Sorry about spitting out the coffee and sneaking into the teacher’s lounge and um ... unfusing and all ...”

Mr. Barriga was silent. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“Mr. Barriga?” Connie said, concerned.

He gave Connie a stern look.

“... assuming all that wasn’t a hallucination caused by drugged coffee, both of you report to my office _NOW_!” Mr. Barriga said, pointing toward the door of the teacher’s lounge.

* * *

Connie and Steven sat next to each other on the other side of Mr. Barriga’s desk. Connie’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She couldn’t believe she’d gone from never being sent to the principal’s office to being sent twice in two weeks.

Mr. Barriga thumped his fingers on the desk, staring in silence.

“... I’m waiting for the explanation about what just happened,” he said.

Steven spoke up before Connie had a chance to say anything.

“I’m really sorry! Please don’t punish Connie, this was all my fault, sir, I--”

“Nobody is punishing anyone right now,” Mr. Barriga said, putting his hand up. “I just want to know what happened.”

“Oh, um ...” Steven scratched his neck. “Okay, wow, I really wish Garnet was here for this ... I’m not sure if you’d understand.”

“I went to a semi-prestigious community college. Try me.”

Connie sighed.

“Don’t worry, Steven,” Connie said. “Let me try to explain.”

Connie tried to be as concise as possible in her explanation, giving a basic overview of everything that had happened, what fusion was, who Stevonnie was, and why they ended up in the teacher’s lounge.

Despite worrying everything she said would sound like complete nonsense, he listened quietly. When Connie was finished, he nodded in understanding.

“So you changed into this Stevonnie person to avoid getting harassed by other students?” Mr. Barriga said.

“Uh huh,” said Connie carefully.

Mr. Barriga rubbed his chin.

“I see,” he said.

Steven, who was fidgeting in his seat, blurted out.

“S-so are we in trouble or--”

Mr. Barriga considered for a moment.

“I suppose there’s no harm done,” Mr. Barriga said. “I can understand wanting to leave school without incident. I don’t have a problem with that.” He settled in his chair. “Besides, from what you’ve told me, fusion isn’t dangerous. And there isn’t exactly a rule prohibiting fusion in school ...”

“Oh!” Steven said, his eyes lighting up. “I get it! It’s just like that one movie where it turned out there wasn’t a rule saying dogs _couldn’t_ be luchador wrestlers and--”

“Steven, I need you to focus,” Mr. Barriga said.

Steven just smiled sweetly.

“‘Kay,” he said.

Mr. Barriga turned his attention to Connie.

“Just please tell me these things in advance so I don’t almost have a heart attack next time,” he said with a chuckle.

Connie gave a nervous smile. She was lucky. At least Mr. Barriga was reasonable and knew enough about magic stuff to understand Connie’s explanation.

Mr. Barriga dropped his smile and got serious.

“A few things though,” he said. “First of all, don’t wander into the teacher’s lounge anymore. It’s a place where teachers can be themselves and say what they actually think. It’s no place for children.”

Connie nodded.

“Okay, that makes sense,” Connie said.

“Awww,” Steven said, “so we can’t drink coffee anymore?”

“Steven, you hated the coffee.”

Steven stared at his feet, bashfully.

“I know, but it made me feel more like an adult,” Steven said.

“That feeling is overrated, trust me,” Mr. Barriga said deadpan. He pointed at Steven. “And that’s another thing. I’m aware you and Connie engage in magic business and are very close, but that’s no excuse to cut class to be here with her. You really should be at your own school.”

Steven blinked, staring at Mr. Barriga.

Mr. Barriga raised an eyebrow.

“You ... do go to school, right?” Mr. Barriga said.

“Umm ...” Steven said, not sure how to answer.

Connie scratched the back of her neck.

“Steven’s kinda .... homeschooled?” Connie said. “I mean, sorta.”

“‘Sorta?’” Mr. Barriga said. He turned back to Steven. “Okay, Steven, what grade are you supposed to be in now?”

“What are grades?” Steven asked.

Mr. Barriga was speechless. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s ... okay ...” Mr. Barriga leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “Let’s just pretend what you said doesn’t imply _horrifying_ long-term consequences for a moment ... hang on a second.”

Mr. Barriga opened the drawers of his desk. Connie heard him rustle through papers before pulling out a packet.

“Okay,” Mr. Barriga said, “this is a packet explaining how homeschooling in this state is supposed to _actually_ work. Show this to your, um ... guardians ... and have them call me once they read it because if you want to get any kind of job at all later in life, you’ll need to at least graduate high school.”

“Well, actually I have a job working as a fortune telling robot on the weekends, buuuuuut I’m kinda in the red right now,” Steven said. “Oh! And I have a Tubetube channel. Ads on that bring in about three dollars a month, so ...”

“Uh huh,” Mr. Barriga said. “Well, be that as it may, it’s still important you get proper schooling.”

“So that means I’ll get to be smart like Connie?!” Steven shouted.

Connie couldn’t help but smile and blush.

Mr. Barriga gave a chuckle.

“Absolutely, if you work hard,” he said.

Steven’s eyes got a twinkle in them.

“ _Wow_ ,” Steven said. He grabbed the packet off the desk and flipped through it. He raised an eyebrow. “‘Standardized testing’ ... oooh, _cool_!”

Mr. Barriga cleared his throat.

“Well ... I suppose that’s everything. You two can go now,” he said.

Connie straightened in the chair.

“So ... we can still use fusion to avoid making a scene, right?”

Mr. Barriga just shrugged in answer.

* * *

_Just ask, Jeff,_ Jeff thought to himself nervously as he waited for Peedee in the parking lot once school let out. _It’ll totally be fine, it’s just a movie, just ask ... if he says no, it won’t be the end of the world._

_Except_ yes, yes it would.

Jeff grimaced, kicking himself for even having this idea in the first place.

During lunch Jeff had an amazing time reading comics with Peedee. It was all he thought about the rest of the day. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d had that much fun doing absolutely nothing. It seemed like Peedee felt the same way too.

Well ... felt the same as in he had fun. Jeff wasn’t quite sure if he felt the same as in ... ‘ _felt_ the same.’ But just knowing Peedee enjoyed himself made Jeff really happy.

And Jeff happened to remember there was a superhero movie coming out soon (based on a hilarious satirical superhero team called NewWave, one of Jeff’s favorites) ...

And ... well, Peedee seemed to like superheros and funny stuff too so ...

Jeff thought there wouldn’t be harm in _asking_ \--

“Hey Jeff.”

“ _AH_!” Jeff flinched as he turned around to see Peedee standing behind him. His heart pounded. Peedee laughed.

“Whoa, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Peedee said. “You seemed spaced out. Everything okay?”

“ _Yes_!” Jeff said, trying to ignore all the thoughts racing through his head. “Yes I am! Yep!”

_Not having a panic attack at all, nope,_ Jeff thought to himself.

Peedee gave a bright smile. Jeff tried to ignore his heartbeat quickening.

_Just ask,_ Jeff told himself. _Just ask and get it over with._

“Oh. So, um ... Peedee?” Jeff said. “I was thinking about lunch and--” Jeff coughed. “I--I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” Peedee said.

Jeff’s face felt hot, but he continued talking.

“Y--y--yeah,” Jeff said. “I--I’m kinda glad Steven and Connie gave us time to hang out. And I was just thinking--”

Peedee furrowed his brow.

“Hey, speaking of that,” Peedee said, “did you ever see Connie and Steven after lunch? I don’t have last period with Connie so ...”

“Oh!” Jeff shook his head. He couldn’t believe he forgot about them, being so wrapped up in ... _everything_. “No, I didn’t.”

Peedee frowned.

“Hm ... that’s a little worrying ... I hope they didn’t run into any--” Peedee stopped and looked off. He pointed further down the parking lot. “Oh wait, nevermind, there’s Stevonnie!”

Jeff turned as Peedee started running towards them.

“H--hey wait!” Jeff yelled as he ran after Peedee.

They approached Stevonnie, who was walking while reading a large packet of papers.

He stopped behind Peedee, having to catch his breath.

“Hey there,” Peedee said to Stevonnie. “How was your fusion break?”

Stevonnie glanced away from their papers for a moment.

“Oh,” they said. “It was ... interesting, heh.”

“Oh, really?” Peedee said.

Jeff finally caught his breath enough to speak up.

“Why, what happened?” Jeff asked.

Stevonnie smiled.

“Hm ... not much,” they said in a teasing voice and went back to reading the packet.

“What are you doing?” asked Jeff.

“Oh, just reading over all the things Steven needs to study for the SATs so he can get into college and be a high-powered lawyer superhero,” Stevonnie said, flipping a page. They smiled. “It’s important to have career goals.”

Jeff and Peedee were silent as Stevonnie continued walking, lost in their reading.

“Hey, wait a minute, _what did we miss_?!” Peedee yelled as he started after Stevonnie.

“Hey, wait!” Jeff said, trying to call out after Peedee. “ _I was gonna ask if you wanted to_ \--” But Peedee didn’t stop, apparently not hearing Jeff. “Aaaaand he’s gone.”

Jeff took a moment to groan before he started walking to catch up with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Jeff and Steven have adventures in bad decision making!


	5. The Letter Pt. 1 (Or: Yeah, Strap In, Things Get A Little Real In This One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Implied Past Abuse

“Alright,” Jeff said as he sat across the table from Connie and Steven in the breakroom of the Big Donut. “I’ve gathered together this partial meeting of the Connie Maheswaran Fanclub to--”

“Wait wait, the _what_?” Connie said, raising her eyebrow.

“Us,” Jeff said. “You know, you, me, Steven, um--” His cheeks flushed pink. “And Peedee.”

Steven beamed.

“And don’t forget Lars here!” Steven said, pointing to the corner, where Lars lounged against the wall.

“ _STOP INCLUDING ME_!” Lars shouted as he pulled out his phone and became absorbed in it. “Still don’t know why you’re doing this in _my_ breakroom.”

“Sadie said I could use it for a meeting, so that Connie wouldn’t be spotted by her fans,” Steven said.

Connie smiled.

Lars snorted without looking up from his phone.

“Yeah, she probably just thought that was an excuse so you two could use this room to make out or something,” Lars mumbled.

Steven’s face went pale. Connie said nothing, shielding her face with her hand as it turned red.

“That is-- I’m not--” Steven stammered.

Jeff looked over at Lars.

“Um ... not to be rude,” Jeff said politely, “but shouldn’t you be working?”

“Yeah,” Lars said. He didn’t move from his spot, continuing to text.

Jeff sighed. Getting more privacy didn’t seem to an option he had.

“But yeah, that’s just a silly name I came up with,” Jeff said.

“I’m ... not sure if I like the idea of a club being named after me,” Connie said with a nervous chuckle.

Steven leaned close to Connie.

“I love it! It make sense to me! We’re all your biggest fans, Connie!” Steven said.

Connie grinned.

“Aww,” Connie said sweetly.

The moment was quickly ruined by Lars making kissing noises in the corner. Connie immediately slammed her hand on the table and shot a glare at him.

“ _SHUT UP, LARS_!” Connie said.

Lars flinched in shocked. He said nothing, just shrunk his head in his shoulders and fiddled with his phone.

Connie cleared her throat.

“Sorry,” she said. She waved her hand towards Jeff. “Now Jeff, you were saying?”

“Um ... yeah,” Jeff said. His heart pounded. Even after a whole day of psyching himself up for this, he was still scared to actually talk about it. He twiddled his thumbs and drew his eyes downward. “So ... there’s sort of a reason why I didn’t invite Peedee to this meeting. I kinda wanted to tell you guys a big secret. And ...”

Jeff’s blushing intensified. His heart pounded faster as his stomach felt like it was doing backflips.

“Well ... the truth is ... _I really like Peedee and I want to ask him out_!”

Jeff had expected a look of shock and surprise from Connie and Steven ... but that wasn’t what he got. Instead, Connie and Steven both exchanged a look and smiled.

“Uh, Jeff?” Connie said. “We kinda already knew that.”

Jeff flinched, his face going pale.

“WHAT?!” he said. “But ... but I never told anyone, I--”

“I didn’t even know it was supposed to be a secret,” Steven said.

“ _Steven_!” Connie said, giving him a look before turning back to Jeff. “Well, the hints were pretty obvious--”

“HOW OBVIOUS?!” Jeff said, aghast.

Lars spoke up in the corner.

“I don’t even _care_ and I knew just from hearing you talk about him for a couple seconds,” Lars said.

“ ** _WHAT_**?!” Jeff shouted, clawing at his hair. “B-but that--” Jeff felt a lump in his throat. “Does Peedee know already too?”

Steven and Connie exchanged a puzzled look.

“Weeeee ... don’t know,” Connie said.

“It’s unclear,” Steven said. “I kinda think he doesn’t? I mean ...” Steven shrugged. “You know how these things are. It might be so obvious he doesn’t even see it. Kinda like you.”

“Okay, yes, thanks for reminds me how super obvious this was,” Jeff said. He thumped his head on the table. He couldn’t believe he’d been this dense.

He felt Connie’s hand brush his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Connie said. “You guys get along great. I’m sure if you asked him out, he’d say yes.”

Jeff scoffed.

“Yeah right,” Jeff muttered. “I mean, I don’t even know if he’s--” Jeff paused, then looked up from the table. “ _Hey, wait a second_!” His eyes darted from Connie and Steven. “Neither of you ... you guys don’t think it’s _weird_ or anything I want to ask Peedee out?!”

Connie didn’t even blink.

“No,” she said.

Steven tilted his head, confused.

“Yeah, why would that be weird?” he said, seeming _genuinely_ mystified about why Jeff would ask that.

Jeff stared at them, unable to stop smiling. After some of the things his father had said about _that_ back when his parents were still together, hearing his friends react this way made Jeff feel like he won an award.

“Something wrong?” Steven said.

Jeff, still smiling, shook his head.

“No,” he said. “Just ... remind me to give you guys a hug later or something.”

Steven stared for a second, then simply shrugged.

“Okay!” Steven said.

Connie gave a sweet smile in reply. Steven may not have fully understood the gravity of what that meant to Jeff, but he could tell Connie did.

Jeff exhaled.

“But anyway, I’m not quite sure how to ask him,” Jeff said. “I’ve never asked _anyone_ out before! I-I’m really nervous.”

“Well, you’re already friends,” Connie said. “What’s the worst that could happen if you ask him?”

Jeff thought hard for a moment ...

* * *

_“Hi Peedee,” Jeff said to Peedee, who sat inside the fry stand window. “I was just wondering if--”_

_“I’m not gay, I don’t like you, you’re a weird person, and I don’t want to be friends anymore,” Peedee said deadpan._

_Jeff stared blankly, his eyes getting teary._

_“Wha-what?” Jeff said._

_Peedee reached for a lever inexplicably against the wall of the fry stand._

_“Time to flood the chamber,” Peedee said grimly._

_“Flood the--?” Jeff started._

_Peedee then pulled the lever and, immediately, a tsunami-sized wave sprang from nowhere and crashed against Jeff, flushing him away down the boardwalk._

* * *

Connie and Steven blinked in disbelief after hearing Jeff relate his fears.

“I ... don’t think Peedee has a switch that makes water appear like that,” Connie said finally.

“Yes, but _do you know for sure though_?!” Jeff exclaimed.

“Look, Jeff, Peedee is a really nice guy,” Steven said. “I’m sure he wouldn’t react like that.”

Jeff frowned.

“Maybe but ...” Jeff scratched the back of his neck. “I-I dunno ... like how do you even _ask_ someone out?”

Steven considered before he turned to Connie.

“Hey Connie, want to go see a movie?” Steven said.

Connie smiled.

“Yes I would,” she said.

Steven looked back at Jeff and exclaimed, “ _See_?!”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

“That’s ... that’s not fair,” Jeff said. “You’re both super confident and everything. I’m not built that way.”

Connie shook her head.

“I didn’t used to be like that at all either,” Connie said. “You just need practice. Like ... _oh_! We could roleplay.”

“I don’t have my character sheet,” Jeff said with a chuckle.

Connie gave a good natured laughed.

“Seriously though, just acting it out could help,” Connie said. She gestured to Steven. “Okay, pretend Steven here is Peedee ...”

“Um ... okay, I guess ...” Jeff looked over at Steven and tried his best to imagine ...

* * *

_“Jeff,” Peedee said, “I just realized that I am actually an alien rock or whatever with super powers as well. Let’s go on a magical adventure on my lion and oh dear, my shirt just fell off ...”_

* * *

“Jeff, are you okay? You’re blushing,” Steven asked.

“ _No I’m not_!” Jeff shouted.

“It’s alright!” Connie said calmly. “Just focus on what you want to ask Peedee and ignore everything else ... visualize your success!”  
  
“Yeah, just be yourself!” Steven said.

“Slip him the tongue,” Lars teased from the corner.

Connie shot Lars a glare, which led to Lars mumbling something before finally leaving the breakroom.

Jeff had to admit, he did feel just a little bit more comfortable now that it was just his friends here. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Okay ...” He whispered. He opened his eyes. “Peedee ...” he said slowly. His hands fidgeted. “Would you ... like to go to the movie ... with me?”

“Sure!” Steven said. He smiled. “See, that wasn’t so bad at all, was it?”

Jeff grinned. Despite the butterflies still fluttering in his stomach, he had to admit it wasn’t as hard as he imagined. Granted, this wasn’t the real thing but ... maybe he really could do this.

“Yeah ... yeah, you know what? Maybe you’re right!” Jeff said, standing up from his chair. “Maybe I can do this!”

“Yeah!” Steven said.

“Maybe I can ask Peedee out and everything will be totally fine!”

“Yeah!” Connie said.

“I’m gonna go over there right now and ask him out all by myself!” Jeff said, his heartbeat quickening.

“That’s great!” Steven said.

Jeff stood frozen in place, not actually leaving.

The corner of Connie’s mouth turned upward.

“Want us to come with and make sure you don’t run away?” Connie teased.

“That would be lovely, thank you!” Jeff said.

Connie and Steven shared a giggle. Having his friends there definitely made him feel even more relaxed. He was surprised how confident he had started feeling.

After all, he realized, it wasn’t like asking someone out, even another guy, was _that_ big a deal ...

What was the worst that could happen?

* * *

“Peedee, I’ve been reading a lot about it, and I think these Hollow Earth theory people are onto something,” Ronaldo said, sitting at his computer inside the fry stand.

Peedee gave a smirk as he restocked the condiment packets.

“You don’t say?” Peedee said.

“Yeah. Especially with all this rock people business, there’s SOMETHING down there!” Ronaldo shouted. “I mean, what do you think is _actually_ down there underground?”

Peedee looked up at the ceiling for a second.

“Um ... water lines? Sewers? Cable wiring? A non-insignificant amount of dead people?” Peedee said.

Ronaldo blinked.

“Well, _yeah_!” Ronaldo said. “But I’m talking about _under_ all that!”  
  
“Oh, then um ... fault lines?” Peedee said.

“Under _that_?”

“Mole people?”

“Peedee, I’m trying to have a serious discussion with you.”

Peedee gave a good natured smile and shrugged.

“Sorry,” Peedee said. “But I guess I’m not as tapped into the scientific community as you, Ron.” He waved his hand. “That’s why I leave the great thinking to smart guys like you.”

Ronaldo snorted and smiled.

“I’m not _that_ smart, Peed,” Ronaldo said.

Peedee frowned. Despite trying to remain reserved, sincerity broke through in his voice.

“ _I_ think you’re smart,” Peedee said softly.

Ronaldo looked up from his laptop and gave a warm grin.

“Well ... I’m glad you think that ...” Ronaldo said. There was a long pause before Ronaldo cleared his throat. Peedee could tell he was just playing it off like he hadn’t felt anything, but Peedee knew that wasn’t the case. Ronaldo pulled out his phone and started texting. “Wonder what Lars will think of my findings ...”

Peedee’s goodwill melted away as he rolled his eyes.

“You’re _still_ talking to that jerk?” Peedee said with a hint of anger.

Ronaldo shrugged.

“Sometimes,” he said, as he continued texting. “He’s not so bad. You know, in small doses.”

Peedee narrowed his eyes.

“He _hurt_ you ...” Peedee mumbled.

“The lighthouse thing? Peedee, we were like _ten_. Maybe he’s grown up a little since then.”

Peedee said nothing and went back to restocking his condiments, trying not to think too much about it. About how Peedee knew horrible people never grew up, never learned, never changed because _nothing ever changed_ \--

Peedee took a deep breath. He realized his hand was shaking before he forced it to stop.

_Don’t think about it_ , he told himself. Peedee was actually having a good day so far. He didn’t need to ruin by thinking about ...

_Old things._

Fortunately, someone shouting from the front window snapped him back to reality.

“Hell-o! Mail here!”

“Oh hey, Barb’s here,” Ronaldo said, glancing up from the laptop.

Ronaldo moved to get up, but Peedee held his hand out.

“I got it,” Peedee said as he approached the window and saw Barb’s familiar, slightly wrinkled face. Peedee smiled. He didn’t know Barb that well, but she was always nice to him. And whenever she came to order food she never had complicated orders, so Peedee appreciated that too.

“Hey Peedee,” Barb said. “Working hard?”

“Someone around here has to,” Peedee said.

Barb led out a booming laugh.

“Ah well,” Barb said. She reached into her bag and pulled out a stack of envelopes. “Here ya go.”

“Hurray, _bills_.” Peedee took the stack. “Thanks ma’am.”

Barb gave a silent salute with two fingers and said goodbye. Peedee leaned on the service window and looked through the mail. Didn’t seem like much at first.

“Bill ...” Peedee said, shuffling through each envelope in the stack. “Bill ... bill ... coupon for oil change ... letter from--”

Peedee froze, staring at the letter in his hand.

The letter was addressed to _him_. His eyes immediately focused on the stamp on the envelope that read “MAILED FROM A STATE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY.”

There was no name on the return address, but that stamp told him all he needed. Even if that _hadn’t_ been on there, Peedee would have known who it was.

He still recognized her handwriting.

All the mail slid from his hands as he felt his entire body quiver. For a moment, he couldn’t move. He barely felt like he could _breathe_.

She wasn’t _allowed_ to do that, was she? She couldn’t be. There was a restraining order, right? Peedee _thought_ there was. There _had_ to be. He had to ask Dad ...

_No_ , Peedee thought, _Dad can’t know about this. What am I thinking?_ Nobody _can know about this. Especially not--_

“We get anything good?” Ronaldo said, approaching from behind.

Peedee’s heart jumped. He found the will to move again, immediately diving to the floor to pick up the mail before Ronaldo could.

Peedee _could not_ let Ronaldo see that letter.

“Uh ... n-not really,” Peedee said, taking the envelopes in his arms. He tried his best to sound casual, but he didn’t think he was convincing. As soon as he identified the letter, he crammed it in his pocket as quickly as possible. Thankfully, Ron didn’t seem to notice. He stood up holding the rest of the stack. “Just a bunch of bills, you know?”

“Aww,” Ronaldo said. “I thought my copy of Metaphysics Monthly had finally come in.” He groaned. “This is what I get for not subscribing digitally.”

“Uh huh, yeah,” Peedee said as he walked into the back and placed the mail on the counter. “Hey um ...” Peedee looked back towards his brother. “It’s pretty slow today, Ron. Why don’t you take the day off? I can cover here.”

Ronaldo raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” he said.

“Y-yeah,” Peedee said. “No sense in both of us killing our weekend, right?” He laughed nervously.

Ronaldo narrowed his eyes.

“You uh ... you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

“O-of course,” Peedee said. “Just, you know, go out and enjoy yourself.”

“Um ... okay, sure.” Ronaldo turned away. “Thanks, Peeds.”

Peedee turned back towards the condiments. He didn’t even remember how he was trying to organize them minutes before.

“No problem,” Peedee said, noticing the shakiness of his own voice.

Ronaldo lingered for another moment before exiting the back door. As soon as Peedee heard him walk away, he pulled out the letter.

The letter from _her_.

The one that was addressed to _him_.

Peedee felt _sick_ , like his heart had sunk into his stomach.

_Just burn it_ , he thought. _Tear it up. Nothing good it going to be in it. Just get rid of it._

Peedee took the envelope with both hand, ready to rip it in half ...

But he hesitated.

And in the moment or two it took him to falter, he heard another voice calling from the window.

“Peedee? Are you there?”

_Jeff?_ Peedee thought.

Peedee ran over to the window to see Jeff, Connie, and Steven. Jeff stood right in the window while Connie and Steven were a short distance behind him. Both Connie and Steven looked giddy for some reason, while Jeff had a huge nervous smile on his face.

Honestly Peedee might have thought the smile was kind of adorable if he wasn’t in the middle of a panic attack.

“H-hey Peedee,” said Jeff, a slight flush on his cheeks.

“Um ... hi,” Peedee said.

_God, great, I sound like such a jerk already,_ Peedee said. _Why did everyone I know have to come_ now _?!_

If anyone noticed Peedee was acting weird, they didn’t show it. Connie and Steven exchanged a look with matching grins on their faces.

“Weeee were just in the neighborhood,” Steven said, singsong.

“Yep, and we thought we’d come by and see how your work was going,” Connie said.

“Yep, that’s totally why we’re here.”

“But Steven and I have to go stand a few feet over there for a bit,” Connie said, grabbing Steven’s hand.

“That is also true, yes,” Steven said. “Pardon us, kind sir.”

Peedee watched as Steven and Connie walked further down the boardwalk, but still close enough for Peedee to see them dissolve into laughter.

Peedee had a hard time seeing what was so funny.

“Um ... Peedee?” Jeff said.

Peedee turned his attention back to Jeff. As ashamed as Peedee was to admit it, he had so much going on that he’d nearly forgot Jeff was there.

  
“Y-yeah?” Peedee said, trying to just focus on his friend, focus on something normal, not focus on the letter he could still feel in his pocket and all the horrible memories it brought back ...

All while his heart pounded faster and faster.

“Well um ...” Jeff rubbed his hands together. “So I was just sorta wondering ... there’s that new superhero movie that came out and I just thought maybe ... I mean, I didn’t know if you have anything going on this weekend but if you didn’t--”

_Don’t think about it_ , Peedee thought, barely registering what Jeff was asking. _Don’t think about her. Don’t think about what it was like when she was around and you used to be afraid all the time, she can’t hurt you anymore, everything’s fine, why did she write me of all people a letter? Why did I check the mail, why can’t I just be_ normal _?_

Peedee’s chest pounded. His stomach felt like it was going through a washing machine and he wanted to puke. He tried to keep as stone-faced as possible. He didn’t want anyone to know how he felt. He didn’t want anyone to ask about this. He just wanted to be away from everyone so no one would have to know how _weak_ he really was.

“I was just ...” Jeff continued on, “you know maybe if you’d like to see that movie too, maybe we could both just--”

As soon as it finally clicked what Jeff was asking, Peedee couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jeff,” Peedee said.

Jeff stopped, beads of sweat clinging to his forehead.

“Y-yes?” Jeff asked.

“I--” Peedee swallowed. He wished he didn’t have to deal with this right now. His romantic feelings towards people in general were complicated _enough_ without having other worries on top of it. “Listen. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but now is _really_ not a good time to talk about this.”

Jeff stared. To Peedee’s horror, he saw his face go pale as he shrunk his head in his shoulders.

“Oh ...” Jeff said in a quiet voice. “That’s-- that’s okay. I--I just thought I’d ask.” Jeff awkwardly turned away.

Peedee, feeling even worse than he already did, called after him.

“Hey, wait! I--” But Jeff had already started walking away. Impulsively Peedee crawled out of the service window, nearly falling face first onto the boardwalk. “Don’t go!” he called after Jeff.

But Jeff kept walking. Thankfully, Connie and Steven saw what was happening and walked up to Jeff, puzzled. It gave Peedee enough time to dust himself off and reach him.

“Listen,” Peedee said, reaching out, “I didn’t mean it like that, okay? I’m just-- there’s a lot going on right now and--”

“No, Peedee, it’s fine,” Jeff said in a small voice. “You don’t have to explain. There’s nothing wrong with not being into that or--”

“It’s not about what I’m into or-- okay, that’s a really complicated question, first of all, but--” Peedee clutched his hair. “ _Look_ , I’m just having a rough day right now and--”

Connie and Steven, who had been watching in awkward silence, finally spoke up.

“I ... maybe it’d be best if we just go,” Connie said, glancing at Steven. “I think you two need some time to talk or--”

“I don’t need time to talk to anyone, _okay_?!” Peedee said, not realizing he was shouting until he already was.

Connie flinched and Peedee felt an intense pang of guilt that he yelled at her, of all people.

He became aware of all three of his friends staring at him. He felt like a freak. He knew he wasn’t acting normal, but he felt so panicked he couldn’t stop.

“I--” Peedee took a breath. “I just really _really_ need to be alone right now. That’s all.” Peedee turned to Jeff. “And I’m really sorry but it’s not anything to do with you. It’s me. It’s all me, alright? I--”

Steven pointed at the ground.

“Um ... Peedee? You dropped something,” Steven said.

Peedee’s face contorted in horror as he looked down and saw the envelope on the boardwalk. It must have fallen from his pocket without him realizing.

Steven started bending down to pick it up.

Peedee’s heart jolted as he dove down and snatched the envelope.

“Don’t touch it,” Peedee said to Steven.

“I was just trying to--”

“ _I said don’t touch it!_ ” Peedee said, almost screaming.

Steven looked down at Peedee, hurt in his eyes.

“Peedee ... what’s wrong?” Steven said.

“Nothing is wrong,” Peedee said, clutching the stupid letter in his hand. “I just want to be left alone.”

“You’re _crying_ ,” Steven said.

Peedee touched his face and only then realized Steven was right; tears were trickling down his face.

“I-I’m fine,” Peedee insisted.

Peedee felt Jeff’s eyes on him, full of concern.

“Is ... is that the reason you’re upset?” Jeff said, nodding towards the letter.

Peedee hid the letter behind his back.

“No, it’s not,” Peedee said. “It’s fine and it’s not anyone’s business anyway so--”

Connie took a step towards Peedee.

“Look, you don’t have to tell us but ... if you need to talk, you can tell us anything,” she said. “You know that, right?”

“There’s _nothing_ to talk about, just leave it _alone_ , alright?” Peedee said, through gritted teeth.

“But, Peedee, we just--” Steven started, until finally Peedee grunted in frustration.

“ _It’s a letter from my mom, okay_?!” Peedee shouted, now holding the letter so tight it was practically crumbled up. “There, okay, you guys know. Everyone happy now? Everyone?! _Great_. Let’s just drop it already!”

Everyone was shocked. It was all over their faces. Peedee had to turn his head away; he couldn’t stand their eyes on him.

“Peedee ...” Jeff reached out to touch Peedee’s shoulder, but Peedee backed away.

“Please,” Peedee mumbled. “Don’t.” He wiped more tears from his eyes. He wanted to stop crying but it just _wouldn’t_.

Connie could only stare mouth agape. He could see the wheels turning in her head, trying to think of something to say and coming up with nothing. Knowing her, she probably felt guilty over it, as if any of this was her fault; it made Peedee disgusted with himself.

Steven gulped and finally asked what Peedee was sure they were all thinking.

“What’s ... so bad about a letter from your mom?” Steven said carefully.

Peedee glared at him.

“You need to back off,” Peedee said.

Steven frowned.

“O-okay,” he said. There was a pause and Peedee prayed finally everyone would shut up about this, but then Steven added, “Look ... Peedee ... if you have any kind of problems with your mom--”

Peedee lowered his head.

“Don’t do this, alright, _just don’t_ ,” Peedee said, almost whispering.

Steven approached Peedee.

“I-I’m just saying, if you do ...” Steven glanced downward. “I-I understand what it’s like to have complex feelings about your mom, so--”

“Steven, you have no idea how I feel, just stop,” Peedee said, desperately trying to keep his voice steady.

Peedee clenched his fist. His teeth were clenched and he felt like he was shaking.

“I mean,” Steven said. “I think I might a little, so--”

Upon hearing that, something in Peedee finally gave and he exploded, shouting at the top of his lungs.

“NO STEVEN, YOU CAN’T RELATE TO WHAT I FEEL ABOUT MY MOM! YOU’RE _LUCKY_! **AT LEAST YOU NEVER HAD TO KNOW YOURS**!”

Steven’s eyes went wide. His mouth hung open for a moment, staring at Peedee in silence.

The moment Peedee said those words, he regretted it. And seeing that blank expression on Steven’s face, like he himself didn’t even know how to feel, just made it all the worse.

Jeff was equally stunned, but Connie had a harsh look on her face. She glared and shouted, “ _Peedee_!”

“I--” Peedee started stammering. “I’m sorry, I--” All his anger melted away and all he felt now was _shame_. He felt like scum ... no, worse; he felt _subhuman_. What kind of person says something like that to their friend? He didn’t deserve for his apology to be accepted.

He didn’t deserve to be around them at all.

So without another word, he turned and ran.

He heard Jeff call his name, but all Peedee could do was just yell back, “ _Just leave me alone_!”

He wasn’t even sure where he was running, where he was going, all he could do was run. He closed his eyes as tear trickled from them. He was alone, except for the letter in his hand that he hadn’t even wanted, that awful thing that hurt everything it came into contact with.

Just like Peedee.

They were suited for each other.

* * *

Jeff could only stare as Peedee ran down the boardwalk.

He couldn’t believe what just happened. But he didn’t blame Peedee. After all, Jeff was the one who had decided to come here. Jeff was the one who reacted badly to what he thought was rejection, which led to all this.

He’d never wanted anything like that to happen. He didn’t want to hurt Peedee, even if he didn’t feel the same way Jeff did.

As soon as Peedee was out of view, Connie and Steven ran up to Jeff.

None of them said anything for a moment, still reeling from everything that’d just occurred.

Connie finally turned to Steven and asked, “Are ... you okay?”

Steven gave her a confused look.

“Forget about _me_! I’m more worried about Peedee!” Steven said. He clenched his fists. “It’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have pushed him, I--”

“Steven, it’s okay,” Connie said.

“But--”

Without another word, Connie pulled Steven into a hug. He hesitated only briefly before he wrapped his arms around her in return.

After a moment, they pulled away. Steven had a sad smile on his face.

“Th--” His voice cracked before he cleared his throat and continued. “Thanks, Connie.”

Connie gave a small smile before she turned to Jeff.

“Are you alright, Jeff?” she asked.

Jeff nodded, even though he was nowhere close to okay, not when he knew how Peedee felt.

Whatever had gone on with Peedee and his mom, it must have been _bad_. The way Peedee acted as soon as the letter came up ... it reminded Jeff of how he thought of his father. _Too much_.

Jeff looked back down the boardwalk.

“What should we do?” Jeff asked.

Connie put her hand to her chin.

“I ... I hate to say it, but maybe we should give him some space,” Connie said.

“What?” Jeff said. “But-- but he was crying, we should--”

“I know,” Connie said. “But when we kept pressing him, all it did was make things worse. We should ...” She sighed. “We should give him some time alone and just wait for him to come to us when he’s ready.”

Steven bit his lip but nodded.

“Maybe you’re right ...” Steven said. “I don’t want to hurt Peedee again.”

“B-but--” Jeff said.

Connie came up and lightly touched Jeff on the shoulder.

“Jeff, I know you’re worried about him, but I think this might be for the best,” she said.

Jeff opened his mouth to reply ... but he couldn’t think of any rational argument. Of course he wanted to go after Peedee, but logically, Connie made sense.

Jeff sighed.

“I--I guess you’re right,” he whispered.

“Alright ...” Connie nodded and turned to walk the other way down the boardwalk. “Maybe we could ... I dunno, go back to the Big Donut and try to think of something nice to do for Peedee when he comes back.”

Steven walked alongside her.

“That’s a good idea,” said Steven, perking up. “I’m really good at making cards.”

“I wasn’t sure about a card,” Connie said, “but maybe a--”

Jeff trailed behind them, barely listening. He couldn’t stop thinking about Peedee.

_He’ll be fine_ , Jeff told himself. _Just give him some time._ _It’ll be fine. It’ll be--_

But his imagination was already working overtime. He pictured Peedee somewhere dark, his knees to his chest ... sad and alone ...

Just like Jeff had felt so many times in his childhood ...

Jeff stopped walking. Connie and Steven turned back to him.

“Jeff?” Connie asked.

Jeff glanced down at the boardwalk, then back at his friends.

“Sorry,” he said.

And with that, he turned to run after Peedee. He heard his friends call after him, but he just ran faster.

Maybe he was making a mistake, he didn’t know. He just didn’t want Peedee to be alone like this.

So he’d make sure he _wasn’t_ alone ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued ...
> 
> (And don't worry it won't be a super huge gap before the next one this time, I promise. Sorry about that, by the way.)


	6. The Letter Pt. 2 (Or: Peedee and Jeff Talk About Some Real Stuff For A Chapter, But There’s Some Cute Things Later I Promise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Child abuse, blood, past homophobia, reference to conversion therapy, implied suicidal thoughts.

_Peedee stood in the doorway, staring at the red and blue lights flashing from the police car and the ambulance. His eye was swollen. He was still holding the cordless phone, unable to process everything happening. It would be years before he fully grasped what happened that night._

_His mom was being handcuffed._

_“He’s a liar!” Mom shouted, looking right at Peedee. “It was an accident! He’s lying, he’s--” Peedee didn’t hear the rest as a cop shoved her in the police car._

_He looked towards the ambulance where Ron was on a stretcher. On his head, there was a cloth covered in blood. His eyes were still open, but he looked dazed._

_One of the police officers walked over and asked Peedee something; he couldn’t pay attention. All he could think of was how his mom’s words made him feel: that all of this was his fault._

_The cop repeated his words._

_“Kid, are you alright?” he said again ..._

* * *

“Peedee! Are you in here?! Are you alright?!”

Peedee shook his head as he heard Jeff’s voice.

Peedee sat in the upper level of the lighthouse, his knees to his chest. The lighthouse was Ron’s makeshift clubhouse, but thankfully he wasn’t there right now. He had been alone, which is what Peedee thought he wanted when he first arrived ... but since he’d gotten there, he’d done nothing. Nothing but cry his eyes out and stare at the letter he was still too afraid to open.

Peedee was silent as he heard the thump of footsteps downstairs.

“Peedee!” he heard Jeff shout. “I know you said you wanted to be alone, but I thought maybe I could come help you be alone for a bit?” There was a pause. “That’s kind of a dumb thing to say now that I think about it, but ...”

Peedee smiled despite himself at that, but he was still too distraught to call out. He didn’t deserve to have any of his friends around him, especially after acting the way he did. Not to mention what he said to _Steven_.

The thumping grew louder as Jeff appeared in the stairwell, his eyes going wide the moment he noticed Peedee.

“There you are,” Jeff said as he ran up to him.

Peedee hugged his knees closer to his chest.

“Jeff ...” Peedee said, letting out a heavy sigh. “You shouldn’t be around me right now. I don’t want to say anything else stupid that hurts you too.”

“What?” Jeff said. He shook his head. “No, you didn’t hurt me. I--”

“You seemed hurt when I turned you down earlier,” Peedee looked down. “I don’t want to say anything worse to you like I did Steven. I just ... I need to be away from everyone.”

Jeff glanced down, then leaned against the wall next to Peedee and slid down the floor. He put his hand on Peedee’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to deal with this alone,” Jeff whispered. “No matter what, I’m still your friend. You don’t have to worry about me going anywhere.”

Peedee felt a slight flush on his cheeks. He actually managed another smile.

“... thanks,” he said. Peedee raised an eyebrow. “How did you know I was here?”

“Some tall lady with a square head and sunglasses told me you went this way,” Jeff said.

Peedee nodded.

“Okay, that makes sense,” he mumbled.

There was a long pause before Jeff cleared his throat.

“So ... you wanna talk about it?” Jeff said.

Peedee said nothing, twisting the envelope in his hand. Jeff glanced at it before looking back at Peedee.

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine,” Jeff said. “But if you need to, I want to help ...”

Peedee looked up at the ceiling. He felt nauseous even thinking about this situation ... but when he heard the sincerity in Jeff’s voice, he felt wrong shutting him out. He deserved better than that.

Peedee let out a deep breath and handed Jeff the envelope.

“Read the front,” Peedee said.

Jeff was puzzled as he took the envelope and read it.

“‘Mailed from a state correctional faci--’” Jeff’s eyes went wide. “This is from jail.”

“Yeah,” Peedee said, hiding his face in embarrassment.

“I thought you said it was from your mom?” Jeff asked.

“It is.”

“Oh ...” Jeff blinked as he suddenly understood. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I--”

Peedee glared, the anger rising back in his gut.

“Don’t be,” Peedee snapped. “She _belongs_ there.”

Jeff stared at Peedee, his face pale.

“What did she do?” whispered Jeff.

Peedee ran his fingers through his hair. He started to sweat.

“What _didn’t_ she do?” he muttered. He placed his hand on his knee. Without prompting, Jeff lightly touched the top of his hand.

Normally Peedee wasn’t comfortable being touched by anyone, but this time it actually felt nice.

Peedee took a deep breath.

“My mom ... used to treat us pretty bad,” Peedee said. “Like, you know ...” Peedee tightened his grip on his knee. Even after all this time, just thinking about it made his whole body tense. “Hitting us and stuff.”

“Oh my god,” Jeff whispered. “I-I’m so sorry.”

Peedee shook his head.

“No ... I mean, honestly I was really young, I had it easy,” Peedee said. “Well ... easi _er_. My brother got the worst of it. It seemed like she’d take _everything_ out on him because she had anger problems or something? I don’t really know.”

_She was just an angry person,_ Peedee thought. _Just like me_. He didn’t say it outloud, but just feeling similar to his mom in that way made him disgusted with himself.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jeff said. “That’s terrible.” He paused. “So did your dad call the police one day or--”

Peedee gave a humorless laugh.

“No,” Peedee said. “My dad always tried to make us feel better. Sometimes he and mom would even yell bad enough I hoped they’d get a divorce or something. But no matter what happened, mom would say she was sorry and it’d just be the same crap all over again.” He glanced down at the floor. “But he never called the cops.”

“But then how did--”

“Because _I_ called the cops,” Peedee said, turning back to Jeff. He felt his eyes sting again and had to stop himself from swearing at what a wuss he was.

Jeff put his hand to his mouth.

Peedee rubbed his temple.

“So this one night ... I guess I must have been like five or something. I guess Ron was nine or ten? So anyway ... Dad was at work and Mom got really mad about something. I don’t even remember what, honestly. I was hiding in my room because that’s _all I could ever do_ and Ron said something. Then there was this really loud crash and a scream and ...”

He teared up thinking about it. Even though he was very young, he could still see it so clearly, still feel the terror he felt that night ...

“Mom was holding a broken lamp and Ron’s head was cut and there was just blood everywhere,” Peedee said. “I--I didn’t know what to do, but I was old enough to know what 911 was and I just ... I thought that’s what you call if someone was hurt.” His voice got higher pitched. “I grabbed the phone before mom could see me and I called and gave our address but ... but before I could get off the line Mom heard me and she was just so _angry_ and--” Peedee touched underneath his left eye. “I’m not sure what would have happened to me or Ron if the police hadn’t shown up then.”

Peedee could see Jeff’s eyes well up a little as he told his story. Peedee groaned.

“Sorry, I-I shouldn’t have said anything,” Peedee said as his voice cracked. “Nobody wants to hear all that, I--”

“No no, it’s fine,” Jeff said. “I mean, it’s _not_ fine, I just--” Jeff bit his lip. “No one deserves to go through that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ... don’t worry about it,” Peedee said. “But yeah ... so that happened. I’ve never even talked to her since then. She used to call my dad from jail, but he stopped answering after a while.” Peedee gave a bitter laugh. “I remember overhearing my mom say a ton of crappy stuff about me though. How it was my fault and I broke up the family and everything. I think that’s why my dad stopped answering, heh.”

Jeff said nothing, only listened. Peedee looked down at the letter.

“So after not hearing from her for like ... nine years, all of a sudden I get this in the mail. Addressed to me. Like ... she even used the name everyone _actually_ calls me instead of my real name. She never did that before ...”

“Wait ... Peedee isn’t your real name?” Jeff said. “What is?”

“Um ...” Peedee grimaced. “It’s Peter Dale Fryman Jr. And please, for the love of _God,_ don’t tell anyone else that.”

Jeff snickered, but covered his mouth.

“Sorry, i-it’s not funny,” Jeff said. He stifled his laughter and nodded to the letter. “What does she say in it?”

Peedee stared down at the envelope.

“I dunno,” he said. “I haven’t opened it yet. Like ... I really shouldn’t even want to. I wanted to tear it up right away cause I was sure it wasn’t gonna be anything _good_. She probably just wrote to say more horrible stuff to me.” Peedee snorted. “Or maybe to say she’s getting out of jail soon and that she’s coming to kill me. Maybe that too.”

Peedee chuckled, but Jeff’s only response was his face going pale.

“That’s um ... I guess that’s not funny,” Peedee chuckled.

“Not ... much, really, no,” Jeff said. “So why didn’t you tear it up?”

“I--” Peedee hung his head down and clutched his hair. “God, this is so pathetic ...” He looked back up at Jeff. “I started thinking, you know, what if she actually wrote to say she’s _sorry_ for everything? That she was wrong? That she ... forgives me, I dunno.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong though,” Jeff said.

“I know, I know! But--” Peedee stared at the letter. “I know it’s stupid and I know I shouldn’t even care after everything that happened but ... when I thought about that, I just couldn’t do it.” Peedee rubbed his eyes. “Like I’m too scared to read it but too scared to tear it up either. How messed up is that?”

“That’s--” Jeff whispered. “I don’t think you’re messed up.”

“Heh, well, after all that, you _should_ think I’m messed up,” Peedee said. “Cause I sure ain’t _normal_.”

Jeff was silent for a moment, deep in thought. Peedee had no idea what he was thinking. He felt so terrible for unloading all that on Jeff. He was too sweet to deserve hearing all that.

Before Peedee could apologize again, Jeff said, “Okay...” He straightened his back against the wall. “So, this one time, about a year ago, my dad said he wanted send me to this ... ‘camp,’ right?”

“Uh ... huh?” Peedee said, unsure where this was going.

“But it wasn’t like a ... ‘summer camp’ camp,” Jeff said. “It was--” He gave a nervous laugh. “It was one of those ... ‘make-you-not-gay’ camps.”

Peedee nearly gasped. Immediately, he felt his face get hot as he clenched his fist.

“Are you fu-- are you for real?!” Peedee shouted. “Your dad wanted to send you to something like _that_?!”

“Yeeeaahh,” Jeff said. “Yeah, he uh ... he really did. And I was super scared for like... that whole week leading up to it. Like I don’t know what even goes on in places like that but I’ve heard things and I--” Jeff scratched the back of his neck. “I’m pretty imaginative sometimes. And I can imagine some reeaaally bad stuff. Like, so bad I thought of ... of some really dumb ways to try to get out of ever seeing that place ...”

Peedee gave Jeff his full attention. He didn’t realize it at first, but just like Jeff, he placed his hand atop Jeff’s as he spoke.

“But um...” Jeff coughed. “Yeah, so ... I never _actually_ ended up having to go. My mom didn’t know any of this was going on because her work was so busy. And when she found out like ... the day before I was supposed to go, she flipped out on my dad while I was out of the house.” Jeff paused and added, “She said she tried to hit him with her car and I was never super clear on if she was joking or not.”

Peedee immediately liked whoever Jeff’s mom was.

“So yeah, they got separated and divorced like right after that so ... that’s kinda why we ended up moving here,” Jeff said. “So um ... don’t feel too bad.” Jeff gave an uneasy smile. “You’re not the only one who’s messed up.”

Peedee said nothing for a moment. He wasn’t sure what to say, really. He couldn’t even imagine having to go through something like that.

“... maybe we should introduce your dad to my mom and quarantine all the assholes in one place?” Peedee mumbled.

Jeff tilted his head down and giggled.

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe,” Jeff said.

Peedee rubbed his temple.

“Wow, God ... I’m so sorry,” Peedee said. “You’re too sweet to have had to deal with that crap.”

Jeff gave a weak smile.

“You think I’m sweet?” he said.

“Yeah, are you _kidding_?” Peedee said with a chuckle. “Come on, you came just to talk to me when you really didn’t have to. Especially after I basically shot you down earlier.” He paused then added. “I’m... sorry about all that, by the way. It wasn’t you, really. I was just so out of it over all of this, you know.” He nodded towards the letter.

“No no, it’s fine, I understand now,” Jeff said. “Anyone would be kind of out of it dealing with that.”

Jeff bit his lip.

“Can I ask you a question though?” Jeff said. “Like don’t be mad or anything.”

“No, it’s fine,” Peedee said. “What?”  
  
“Are you, you know ...”

“Gay?”  
  
“Yeah.”

Peedee sighed and flopped on the floor.

“I don’t even _know_ ,” said Peedee. He put a hand to his face. “I’ve had crushes before, and I don’t think they were limited to any one gender. Or at least I _think_ they were crushes, but they’re never quite how other people describe what crushes feel like, so... maybe it’s just admiration? I don’t know.” He shrugged. “People can just look at someone and say stuff like, ‘Ooohh, they’re so hot!’ but what does that even _mean_? Everyone says it has something to do with ‘ _urges_ ’ and ‘ _feelings_ ’ and I have no idea what they’re talking about, so maybe I just don’t get them? Like, how do you even get feelings for anyone if you don’t even _know_ them, you know?” He sighed. “Sorry, I’m probably not making any sense and sounding super weird right now.”

“No, no, that’s fine,” Jeff said, leaning towards him. “I don’t think you’re weird at all! It’s fine if that’s how you feel.”

Peedee smiled. He’d never had the nerve to tell anyone that before; after everything that had happened today, hearing someone not make him feel weird about it made all the difference.

“Thanks,” Peedee said.

Jeff grinned. His cheeks flushed as he traced his finger along the floor.

“So um ... you only think people are hot after you get to know them, right?” Jeff said.

“Yeah, I guess,” Peedee said. “Well I mean, that stuff doesn’t even cross my mind, usually. But I do feel ... stuff ... for some people.”

Jeff’s cheeks flushed redder.

“So ...” Jeff started, “...do you feel stuff for me?”

Peedee chuckled. To Peedee’s surprise, he was blushing too.

“... maybe a little, yeah,” Peedee said.

“Really?!” Jeff shouted.

“Yeah,” Peedee said. “Like, you know, if it wasn’t for all this stuff going on, I would have said yes when you asked me out.” Peedee scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, only if you wanted, you know ... I know how I feel is kinda different and I’m not sure about touchy-feely stuff or anything but--”

Jeff grinned as tears formed in his eyes. Peedee felt a twist in his gut.

“Oh God, did I say something wrong?” Peedee said.

“No, no, _I’m just so freaking happy,”_ Jeff said, still grinning as tears trickled down his cheeks. He rubbed his eyes with his arms. “Sorry, I--I didn’t mean to get like this ...”

“It’s fine,” Peedee said with a giggle.

Jeff smiled, then said, “So ... you said you’ve had crushes before, right?”

Peedee shrugged.

“Like one or two,” he said. “Nothing serious or anything.”

“Anyone I know?” Jeff asked.

Peedee froze. For a moment, he thought back to weeks ago, when he was sitting with Connie in the lunchroom and someone yelled “Team Peedee,” the annoying blush on his cheeks when he heard it, the teasing smile Connie gave him ...

“Uh, no,” Peedee lied. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I--I don’t _think_ so. Just you know ... people I knew for a while ...” He hastily added. “Like I said, nothing serious.”

This was true. Peedee considered _those_ feelings more of a minor inconvenience than anything else. Aside from occasionally making him feel a little awkward, it wasn’t worth thinking more about. And it especially wasn’t worth making Jeff feel insecure.

Jeff just nodded and said, “Ah, okay. I see.”

Peedee glanced down, trying to ignore the fact he just lied (even if it was a little white lie, he told himself). Fortunately, Jeff changed the subject.

“So ... you feel a little better?” Jeff asked.

Peedee sighed.

“Yeah ... yeah, I actually do,” Peedee said. “I’m not really used to talking about my feelings this much.” He smiled at Jeff. “Thanks, man.”

Jeff gave a goofy smile back.

“You’re welcome, I just wanted to help,” Jeff said.

“Well ... you did,” Peedee said. Peedee leaned over to Jeff, hesitated for a moment, then planted a kiss on his cheek.

Jeff’s eyes went as wide as an owls. His face went beet red. Peedee couldn’t help but laugh.

“You okay?” Peedee said.

“Brain ... stop working ...” Jeff mumbled as his mouth spread into wide grin.

“So yeah, to answer your question, I’m cool with seeing a movie,” Peedee said.

“Okay,” Jeff said wistfully.

Peedee’s smile faded as he stood up.

“I guess we should head back,” Peedee said. “I want to let Connie and Steven know I’m okay ... assuming Steven will even _want_ to see me after what I said.”

Jeff snapped out of his goofy state to stare up at Peedee.

“Of course he will,” Jeff said.

“How do you figure?” Peedee asked.

“He’s _Steven_.”

“... okay, that’s a good point.”

Jeff’s eyes seemed drawn to the letter in Peedee’s hand.

“Um ... do you know what you’re gonna do about that?” Jeff asked.

Peedee looked at the letter.

“... sorta, yeah,” Peedee said. “Actually, speaking of that, um ... could you give me a second alone? I need to make a call really quick.”

“Oh, o-okay,” Jeff said nodding. “I’ll wait for you outside, okay?”

“Thanks bae,” Peedee said, giving Jeff a teasing smile.

Jeff hid his face as he walked out the door, almost certainly blushing.

Once he left, Peedee pulled out his cell phone. The letter was still in his other hand.

Talking to Jeff did make Peedee feel a thousand times better. He was so used to trying to hide his problems that he’d forgotten how relieving it is to let people know. And it was because of Jeff he decided to do this, even knowing how hard it will be for him ...

He called his dad. It rang several times before the voicemail picked up. Peedee felt a lump in his throat as he spoke after the beep.

“Uh ... hey dad, it’s me,” Peedee said. “Listen I um ...” He glanced down at the envelope again. “There’s something I really need to talk to you about. Like ... about mom. So um ... whenever you can, just let me know. Just don’t tell Ronaldo yet, please.” He paused briefly before he added. “I love you. Bye.”

Peedee hung up the phone and exhaled.

That talk wouldn’t be fun, but he know he’d feel better after.

He shoved the envelope and his phone back in his pocket. At least for now, he tried to put it out of his mind.

Until then, he’d try to focus on other things ...

Like the fact he totally just kissed someone a few minutes ago when he thought that was something he’d never feel capable doing with anyone.

With a warm feeling in his chest, he walked outside where Jeff was waiting for him.

* * *

When Jeff and Peedee got back to the fry stand, Steven and Connie were already there waiting for them.

Peedee was still for a moment as they walked up. Jeff frowned, knowing exactly how nervous he was. He reached out and gripped Peedee’s hand.

“It’ll be okay,” Jeff whispered.

Peedee smiled.

“Thanks,” Peedee said.

“I-it is okay if I hold your hand, right?” Jeff whispered. “Cause if that’s too touchy or anything, don’t be afraid to let me know cause--”

“It’s fine, bae,” Peedee said.

Jeff flushed and chuckled.

“God, is that just gonna be something you’re gonna call me all the time now?” he said.

“Guess we’ll see,” Peedee said with a smirk. Before Jeff could respond, Peedee broke from Jeff’s grip and approached Steven and Connie.

Neither of them looked mad, not that Jeff actually expected them to. Connie gave Peedee a concerned smile, but said nothing. Steven, being Steven, immediately swung his arms and hugged Peedee.

“PEEDEE! I’M SO SORRY!” Steven shouted. “YOU WERE RIGHT, I WAS BEING A TOTAL DINK! I’M SO--”

“Steven?” Peedee strained out. “Can’t breathe.”

“OH!” Steven let go and scratched the back of his head. “Heh, sorry.” He paused. “Like for real, I mean. Sorry.”

“It’s, it’s okay,” Peedee said. He pursed his lips together and glanced towards the ground. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. That ... thing I said about your mom was way out of line. It was stupid and I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steven said with a smile. “Thanks.” He raised his fist up. “We good?”  
  
Peedee grinned and bumped his fist.

“Yeah, we good,” Peedee said.

Jeff moved closer to Peedee just as Connie looked Peedee in the eye.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

Peedee hesitated but nodded.

“Yeah ... yeah, I am,” Peedee glanced at Jeff, giving a smile. “Jeff really helped a lot.”

Jeff grinned bashfully as he turned away.

Steven glanced from Jeff to Peedee slowly before his eyes started to twinkle. He grinned, showing all his teeth.

“ _Oh my gosh_ ,” he whispered. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my--”

Connie gently nudged him with her elbow.

“Well, I’m glad you’re alright,” Connie said. She spoke slowly, carefully considering her words. “You um ... you don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don’t want to--”

“No, no, I want to,” Peedee said. He frowned. “After how I acted you guys deserve to know. I--”

“Wait!” Steven exclaimed. “Before you say anything, we have a surprise! Hang on one second!”

Steven ran inside the fry stand and, a moment later, emerged holding a box.

“Oh right!” Connie exclaimed. “I can’t believe I almost forgot.”

“What?” Peedee said.

“We wanted to do something nice for you so ...” Steven popped the box open. “We made you a cake!”

Jeff peaked over Peedee’s shoulder and saw inside there was a yellow cake decorated with white icing. For some reason, there was a tiny pile of fry bits in the middle of the cake.

Underneath that in icing was written “WE LOVE YOU.”

Jeff glanced at Peedee and saw moisture in his eyes as a smile crept on his face.

“Uh, don’t worry about eating the fry bits there, that was mostly for decoration,” Steven insisted.

But Jeff could tell Peedee wasn’t disappointed at all.

Peedee took a single fry bit smeared with icing and put it in his mouth.

After a bite he said, “It’s the best.”

Steven and Connie beamed.

Peedee sighed. Jeff felt Peedee’s hand find his way back to his. He squeezed in in response.

“Why don’t you guys help me eat this cake and I’ll tell you everything?” Peedee whispered. “It’s a long story ...”


	7. The Letter pt. 3: (Or: An Arc Epilogue, Just in Case You Almost Forgot About the Actual Letter ...)

Peedee stared outside as the sun went down while his Dad sat in the recliner and read the letter.

Peedee didn’t even look at the letter himself. He tried not to even look at his father while _he_ read it, focusing only out the window. He tried to think of the nice things from earlier today, how supportive Connie and Steven had been when he told them everything, how great Jeff had been ... but he couldn’t help feeling fidgety regardless.

_It’ll be fine,_ he told himself. _No matter what, it’ll be fine._ And yet a moment later he thought, _God, how am I even gonna tell Ronaldo about this?_

After a few minutes, Dad placed the crinkled letter in his lap face down. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Okay ...” Dad muttered.

Peedee crossed his arms.

“So?” he asked. “Do I even want to know what it said?”

“Well ... it said a bunch of stuff,” Dad said.

“Did she tell me how horrible I was?” Peedee said, bitterness bleeding through in his voice.

Dad shook his head.

“No ... actually, she went on mostly about how horrible _she’d_ been and how sorry she was and ...”

“Wait, _really_?” Peedee said, astonished. “Are you being serious?”

He almost wished he had opened the letter now. Not that it would mean he forgave her or anything but he just ... he never expected that.

Dad rubbed his beard.

“Yeah but ...” He sat up in his chair. “Listen, I know you might not remember all of it, but your mom apologized a lot for ...” Dad’s face soured as he glanced at the floor. “For everything ... but she still kept _doing_ everything she did. I _want_ to believe she’s being legit, but the truth is this is all stuff I’ve heard before. So ... I dunno.”

Peedee considered for a moment, then nodded.

“Yeah ... yeah, you’re right,” Peedee said. “I was just surprised, I guess.” He cleared his throat. “Was that it or ... ?”

Dad shook his head.

“Um ... no, there was another thing ...” Dad ran a hand through his tall hair. “Your mom said she’s getting out soon on parole.”

A chill ran up Peedee’s spine.

“What?” Peedee whispered.

“That’s what it says,” he said.

“She’s not gonna try coming back, is she?” Peedee said, shocked by the fear in his own voice. “We have a restraining order right? She can’t come back, ri--”

“Yes, Peedee, we do have a restraining order,” Dad said. “She’s not allowed to just show up. I’m pretty sure that’d violate her parole.” Dad lifted the letter. “After she apologizes, she says she hopes soon that she can prove she’s really sorry about all this and that she’s changed and that maybe we’ll reconsidered the restraining order and--”

“ _Screw that_!” Peedee said, his voice raising in pitch. “I’m not gonna let her come anywhere near me or Ronnie! Don’t tell me you’d ever--”

“No,” Dad said. “No, I wouldn’t. I promise.”

Peedee turned away, feeling short of breath. He tried to slow his breathing down and couldn’t. He swore without meaning to.

“Peedee?” Dad said.

“What?” Peedee mumbled.

“Come here,” he said.

Peedee turned to see his dad’s arms outstretched. Peedee hesitated for a moment before he hugged his father in the chair.

“Thanks,” Peedee said. He closed his eyes. “What should I tell Ronaldo?”

“ _You’re_ not telling him anything, _I_ will,” Dad said.

“But--”

“Peedee ... I’m the adult. This is my responsibility.” He patted Peedee on the back. “You’re too young to have to take all this on yourself.”

Peedee knew his father was right, but after all he’d been through, he wasn’t sure he’d _ever_ thought of himself as anything other than an adult.

“Okay,” Peedee said. “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too son,” Dad said.

Peedee stayed in the hug as long as he could, trying to to forget about the fear festering in the back of his mind ... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this first multi-chapter arc. There may be more of these in the future, but for now, we'll be going back to some lighter fare for a bit before we come back to anything like this.
> 
> Some special thanks: Thank you to [airamCG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/airamcg/pseuds/airamcg) and [CompletelyDifferent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CompletelyDifferent/pseuds/CompletelyDifferent) for their editing and assistance on this arc, especially pt. 2. Also special thanks to [BarracudaHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarracudaHeart/pseuds/BarracudaHeart) for coming up with Peedee's real name, as well as helping Mr. Fryman get fleshed out quite a bit.
> 
> Credit where credit is due, the "abusive mom" headcanon for the Fryman family was originally proposed, as far as I know, by the-lone-fryman on tumblr.
> 
> And as always, thanks to everyone in [the Cluster](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858026/collections) for constant help brainstorming and encouragement.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this. Tune in next time where we follow up on some more story threads, like the fact everyone at Connie's school basically thinks she's a Witcher and the fact that, in case you forgot, now Steven actually has to do homeschool properly since Dante explained that is kind of a big deal.
> 
> See you soon!


	8. Homeschooling (Or: How Saying Pearl Took Steven's Schooling Seriously is a Bit of An Understatement, As Dante Quickly Finds Out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season two is go! And as I'm sure all the long-time fans of this series will agree, _it's about time._
> 
> A few things worth mentioning. 1) This series is now canon-divergent. Basically anything surrounding "Are You My Dad?/I Am My Mom" and "Wanted" didn't happen. So if you're wondering why Lars is still on Earth and not pink, that is the reason. Since the tone of this series is very slice-of-lifey, I made that decision to try to preserve that focus, for the most part.
> 
> 2) I apologize for the long gap in updates. There were a lot of behind the scenes reasons, mostly centering around me hitting burnout something fierce and thinking all my future ideas for this story were terrible for a while. It is worth noting the main reason I got out of this funk was some anon asking on [my tumblr](http://coreyww.tumblr.com/) what was going on with the series, at which point I reread some of what I had written MONTHS ago for this very chapter and thought I was onto something. So ... yeah, thank you unnamed anon for that. If any of you guys have questions or concerns, don't hesitate to send me an ask on tumblr since apparently it's motivating for me, I guess XD
> 
> And 3) More episodes are indeed planned so I don't plan on going away again any time soon. So, without further ado, let's get to the show.

“Martha, I’m going to be going out for a bit,” Dante said, grabbing his coat off the kitchen chair.

“Huh?” Martha said, looking over from the sink with a raised eyebrow. “Where are you going?”

“Oh, simply checking up on that Universe boy ...” Dante said.

From the kitchen table, Lars scoffed as he plunked his cookbook down on the table.

“What are you checking up on Steven for?” Lars said.

Dante groaned.

“Well, I sent him home with some information about homeschooling a few weeks ago and talked with his um ....” Dante waved his hand around.

“Mothers?” Martha suggested.

“Kidnappers?” Lars suggested with a smirk.

“ _Guardians_.” Dante adjusted his glasses. “Well ... I spoke with one of them anyway. I think it was the one with, you know, the nose--”

“Pearl,” Lars said. “That one’s Pearl.”

“Right, right,” Dante said, before raising his eyebrow. “You talk to them much or--?”

“No way.” Lars picked his cookbook back up. “Being around those weird alien ladies just leads to trouble. Just like with Steven.”

Martha tilted her head and smiled towards Lars.

“Now Lars, I know you don’t mean that,” Martha said. “You mention Steven all the time.”

“Yeah, usually with a lot of swearing involved ...” Lars mumbled.

Dante rolled his eyes.

“Well, be that as it may, I arranged a meeting to follow up and make sure Pearl and ... the other ones are actually following through on his education,” he said. “He’s a good boy and he deserves to have a good job when he gets older.”

“He doesn’t need that,” Lars said. “He can just work at the Big Donut when I quit tomorrow.”

“You say that every day, Laramie,” Dante said.

“I really mean it this time.”

“ _Sure_.” Dante started for the door. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”

Martha smiled. Lars didn’t look up from his book, instead giving a dismissive wave.

“Try not to get killed,” Lars said casually.

* * *

Dante gazed up at the temple statue looming over the Beach House and had a moment of clarity where he realized how unusual his hometown was.

He shook his head then knocked on the front door of the beach house. A moment later, Steven appeared and swung the door open. He beamed at Dante.

“Mr. Barriga!” Steven said. “Hi!”

Dante found himself smiling. He had to admit, the boy’s optimism was infectious.

“Nice to see you, Steven,” he said. “Is Miss Pearl here at the moment or--”

“Yes, Miss Pearl is right here,” came Pearl’s voice as she approached from behind Steven.

Pearl’s appearance was a bit of a surprise. He hadn’t seen many pictures of her, but he knew her appearance was supposed to be similar to a ballerina with a sash around her hip. This was most certainly not what she wore now. She had a cyan-colored sports jacket on, with a white shirt and black tie underneath. A pair of glasses rested along her pointed nose. Essentially, she looked like how a teacher on an old television sitcom would have looked.

She smiled at Dante.

“It is a pleasure to meet you in person, sir,” Pearl said, extending her hand.

“Oh um ... yes,” Dante said, shaking her hand. “I hope I didn’t make this sound like too formal a gathering. There was no reason to get dressed up on my account.”

“Oh no,” Pearl gave a dismissive wave. “This is what I choose to wear now when giving Steven’s lessons.”

“Pearl likes playing dress up!” Steven said.

“I suppose that’s one way of putting it,” she said with a chuckle. “Would you like to come in?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Dante entered the house. Pearl gestured inside.

“If you like, we can sit down and talk in the teacher's lounge,” Pearl said.

“Pardon?” Dante said.

Steven chuckled.

“That’s what Pearl calls the living room when we’re in school mode,” Steven said.

Dante grinned. “Well ... that’s sort of cute,” he said. “I’m glad you’re taking this somewhat seriously.”

“Yes, somewhat,” Pearl said.

Dante entered the living room and noticed that was a huge understatement. The living room seemed normal enough, but the same could not be said for the kitchen. A chalkboard was propped in the middle of the tile floor with a single student desk sitting in front of it. On the counter were piles of books with loose sheets of paper scattered around.

Leaning against a refrigerator were a tiny green person and a taller blue person. The green one had a clip-on tie that seemed to be hovering in midair instead of attaching to her clothes. The blue one didn’t seem to find this unusual.

“This is such an inefficient method!” the green one said in a flinty voice, folding her arms. “Given enough study of neurological science, I’m confident I could build a machine that could transmit all necessary Earth knowledge directly into Steven’s brain. Kindergartens use similar technology, I’m sure it couldn’t be that hard to adapt.”

“Isn’t jamming metal things into human’s heads usually a bad thing?” the blue one said dryly.

“He’s tough! _He’ll get used to it_!”

Pearl turned to them as she strode to the couch.

“Peridot, Lapis, would you excuse us for a moment? I need to speak to Mr. Barriga.”

The green one grumbled while the blue Gem rolled her eyes.

“Fine,” the blue one said.

She proceeded to pick the one called Peridot up, tuck her under her arm, and walk deeper into the house. Aside from some half-hearted flailing, Peridot didn’t seem to mind.

Dante raised an eyebrow.

“Who--”

Pearl smiled.

“Oh, just the science teacher and the art teacher,” Pearl said. “Please, take a seat.”

“Oh ...” Dante sat on one end of the couch while Pearl sat on the other. Steven plopped right next to Pearl, who smiled and ruffled Steven’s hair in response.

“I must say,” Dante said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen another parent take homeschooling quite this seriously before.”

“Really?” Pearl said, eyes wide. “I thought all of these things were necessary for human education. Don’t all schools have this equipment?”

“Well ... yes, if they have all the funding they need, but that’s besides the point,” Dante muttered. “Now, the equipment is all well and good, but I do have to ask about the quality of the actual teaching. Did you read the packet I sent with Steven?”

“Yes yes,” Pearl said closing her eyes. “I’m familiar with the curriculum. Steven’s been having a wonderful time.”

“Yeah!” Steven exclaimed. “I’ve been learning about history and math and literature and art and astrophysics and battle strategies--”

“... astrophysics and battle strategies?” Dante said.

“Well.” Pearl’s face flushed. “I may have made _one or two_ tweaks to the lesson plan.”

“I ... see ...” Dante said. He adjusted his glasses. “Well, I should inform you that at the end of the year, Steven will have to take standardized tests according to state law.”

Dante chose to omit the detail that Steven _should_ have been taking standardized tests for _years_ by this point. Dante supposed it didn’t matter anyway; when he tried to look into what could be done about this oversight, Mayor Dewey’s office gave him a long response that amounted to “It’s taken care of, just don’t worry about it.” As local government cover-ups went, at least this one _seemed_ benevolent.

Nevertheless, Pearl seemed unphased.

“I’m quite confident Steven will be able to pass any test.” She laid a comforting hand on Steven’s shoulder. “He’s done quite well. We even had him take a practice test the other day.”

Steven lower his head and dangled his feet back and forth.

“Don’t bring that up,” he mumbled.

“Nonsense, Steven, you did wonderful,” Pearl said.

Dante tilted his head. “What was wrong with the practice test?” he asked Steven.

Steven was unable to look Dante in the eye.

“Well ... I mean, I guess I did fine, but I missed a few of the questions,” Steven said. “I kinda felt like I should have been able to do it perfect.”

“Aww ... son, you shouldn’t put that much pressure on yourself,” Dante said. “I understand. I was hard on myself as a child too, but I’m sure I did fine.” He extended his hand. “Any chance I could look at it?”  
  
“I really don’t--”

However, Pearl stood up, her hands clasped together.

“Absolutely!” Pearl said. “I’ll go get it!” She wanted to the kitchen. “I think I had it hung on the refrigerator or ... no ... where did ...”

Her voice trailed off as she continued to search.

Dante and Steven sat in awkward silence until Pearl returned with a large packet. She handed it to Dante with an elegant flourish.

Dante smiled and glanced at the packet.

Steven leaned forward, cheeks reddening.

“I’m sure if I took it again I’d be able to get one hundred percent! I hope because I missed some I don’t seem dumb or anything.”

“No no, son, it happens to the best of us,” Dante said, his eyes falling back on the packet. “There’s no reason to ...”

Dante blinked, then flipped through the packet, reading over the questions.

“What ...” he mumbled to himself.

“Something wrong?” Pearl said.

“... this is an SAT practice test,” Dante said.  
  
“Yes,” Pearl said. “The internets said that was the most important standardized test humans take in this country, so I thought it was a good thing to practice for.”

“I ... but ...” Dante rubbed his forehead. “Steven only missed _four_ questions on an SAT practice test?!”

Steven put his hand up, hiding his face.

“A-actually it was five,” he said.

“Yeah but--” Dante gave a nervous laugh, all professionalism leaping out the window. “You’re _fourteen_! You do know most high-schoolers don’t get scores _close_ to that good, right?”  
  
“Huh?” Steven shook his head. “But-but I thought most high schoolers are really smart and get good grades so they can go to college and get sophisticated jobs as heads of state or rocket scientists, stuff like that!”  
  
“That’s very sweet that you think that, Steven, but it’s a bit overly optimistic!”

Steven blinked.

“So I did ... really good?” he said.

“Good? This is phenomenal!. You could probably get a scholarship to any college you wanted to _already_.”

Steven stared in disbelief. Pearl however smiled and clasped her hands together.

“Well! Steven, I told you you did a great job. You may pick something from the Pearl Prize pouch later,” she said.

“I ... didn’t think that was such a big deal,” Steven said. “How did I do so well on something that’s supposed to be that hard so quick?”

“ _That’s a very good question_!” Dante said.

From elsewhere in the house, they heard a loud yell. A moment later, Peridot ran out.

“I CAN EXPLAIN!” the green Gem said. “ _PLEASE_ _SOMEONE LET ME EXPLAIN!_ ”

“Um ...” Pearl raised an eyebrow. “O-kay, go ahead, Peridot.”

_“WOW, THANKS_!” Peridot yelled. She cleared her throat. “Now, everyone try to keep up with the smartest Gem in the room for a moment ...”

Pearl’s eye twitched. “I’ll try to bring myself down to your level, yes ...”

“ _Excellent_!” Peridot said. “Now then.” Peridot snatched the packet from Dante’s hand. “If my analysis is correct ( _snk_ , and it always is), this laughably primitive method of testing weighs mathematics and logic heavily. Is that accurate?”

“Well ... yes,” Dante said. “It’s half mathematics and ... I suppose the English portion has many elements that would be considered logic.”

“Ah, well, the explanation is simple enough then,” Peridot said. “Steven’s a Gem. Any Gem worth their sulfur comes out of the ground with the ability to calculate and make logical deductions faster than organic life.”

Steven’s eyes went wide. “Wait, really?” he said.

“Of course! We’re made for the express purpose of conquering other worlds. It only stands to reason an intellectual advantage is a necessity.” Peridot waved her hand. “You’re probably only noticing it now because you’ve never had to apply it much before. There are some variables though. Obviously some Gems have more resources devoted to intelligence than others, like, for example, _yours truly_. And I should add that areas with depleted resources can lead to Gems with less inherent intelligence, but since you’re composed of an Era One Gem, that’s nothing you’d ever have to worry about, Steven.”

“Um ... I’m sorry, did any of that make sense to anyone else?” Dante said.

Steven remained silent, his eyes darting to the floor. Pearl put her hand to her chin.

“Steven is only half Gem but ... there is truth in what Peridot says,” Pearl said. “It is certainly ... _possible_ that could be part of the reason.”

“Huh. That’s ... fascinating,” Dante said.

At this moment, Dante’s eyes darted to Steven and he noticed something very strange. His eyes were glued on the floor. The cheery demeanor he had only minutes ago seemed all but gone.

“So ...” Steven said softly. “So me doing really good on the test didn’t have anything to do with how hard I worked or ... really anything I did. It was just because I’m half my mom. Is that what you’re saying?”

Pearl frowned. “Oh, Steven, that’s not--”

At the same time, Peridot interrupted shouting, “ _PRECISELY_!” Peridot grinned. “You’re the ultimate organic life form on this planet by default thanks to your Gem. Isn’t that incredible?! You should be proud!”

Steven just sighed and got off the couch.

“Yeah ...” he said as he walked down the hallway. “ _Proud_...”

Dante watched the boy walk deeper into the house before he turned his attention back to the Gems. A moment later he heard a door shut.

Peridot rubbed the triangle rock on her forehead, her face contorted.

“Did-- did I say something wrong again?” Peridot whispered to Pearl.

“I ...” Pearl frowned. “It’s alright. Let’s just give him a few minutes.”

Dante frowned. He scratched the back of his head.

“Um ... I hope this doesn’t come off as overly intrusive, but may I ask a personal question about Steven?” Dante said in a hushed tone.

Pearl nodded. “Of course.”

“He seems to put a lot of pressure on himself and has a lot of stress ...” Dante said. “Is he like that often?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say ... _often_ , but sometimes.”

“I see. Has he ever considered counseling or ... maybe a support group with other teens who may be dealing with stress? It might help.”

Pearl blinked and glanced at Peridot, who looked equally bewildered.

“What is ... ‘counseling’? I know what a camp counselor is but--” Peridot asked.

“Oh no, that’s something different,” he said. “Counseling is similar to like ... therapy.”

Pearl shook her head.

“I--I’m sorry, what is ‘therapy’?” Pearl said.

Peridot scratched her head.  
  
“I’m not sure I-- hang on.” Peridot turned and yelled into the house. “HEY LAPIS?!”

“Yes?” the blue Gem’s voice rang out.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT THERAPY IS?”

“Do I know what _what_ is?”

Peridot turned back towards Pearl and shrugged.

Dante rubbed his temple.

_Right. Aliens_ , he thought. _This is gonna be a weird conversation._

* * *

Steven shut and locked the bathroom door behind him. At least here he could be alone.

He stared in the mirror. Without even being sure why, he lifted up his shirt and looked at his Gem ...

_No_ , he corrected himself. _It’s mom’s Gem._ He was just renting it. Like everything else.

He grimaced and put his shirt down.

He thought of just going back out there and pretending everything was fine, like he usually did. But for some reason, after hearing Peridot say all that, this time he ... he just couldn’t.

He took a breath, and realized his hands were shaking.

_I have to talk to someone,_ Steven said.

He took his phone from his pocket and immediately called Connie’s number. She picked up only after a single ring.

“Steven!” said Connie voice in the receiver. “What’s up?”

“I ...” Steven tried to smile weakly, but it immediately fell. “I’m ... not doing so well right now.”

“Wha-- what’s wrong? Did something happen? Do you need me to come over?”

“No, I just ... I just need to talk.”

“It ... it’s okay, Steven, I’m here.”

“I’m sorry to bother you.”

“No, no, it’s fine! I wasn’t doing anything anyway.” Connie gave a weak chuckle. “I was mostly just hanging out at home. I was trying to think of ways to keep fans off my back and my mom said she was gonna try to cut my hair. Which is funny because I’m not sure if she can cut hair, really. I think it was her idea of a mother-daughter bonding thing.”

Steven winced.

Connie noticed the silence and said, “Oh um ... sorry. I didn’t mean to ramble.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just ...” Steven ran a hand through his hair. “My thing was kind of ... mom ... related.”

“ _Oh_.” Steven could hear Connie clear her throat. “Just take your time and tell me what happened.”

Steven took a breath and explained what had happened that evening.

When he was done, the first thing Connie said was, “Wow, I ... I had no idea you’d do so well at an SAT practice test.”

Steven felt his face flush. His chest sank as words began flowing out of him.

“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t even matter cause I didn’t even know I did that good!” Steven blurted out. “And even when I _did_ and I actually felt proud of myself, it mattered even _less_ cause it didn’t have anything to do with me studying or how excited I was to do cool school stuff like you do, it was all just because of my mom’s Gem like _every other thing I can do that people actually care about_! It’s like everything I do that’s good has nothing to do with me and every time I mess up is my own fault! That’s probably why I got any of the questions wrong in the first place, it’s like am I ever _actually_ supposed to do anything right?! I--”

“Steven!”

Steven stopped, his heart still pounding.

“ _Breathe_.” Connie said slowly. “Remember what Garnet told us.”  
  
“Right.” Steven closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He exhaled slowly. He did that a few more times. “Okay ... _okay_.” He rubbed his temple. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Steven,” Connie said. “Everyone needs to vent. You can tell me anything. Don’t you feel better letting it out?”

Steven frowned. “A little,” he said. “Not a lot though. I dunno ... I just ... actually felt pretty proud of myself for a second when I found out how big of a deal it was I did good on that test. Like I was really smart like you. And then I felt like it got taken away.”

“Steven, you are really smart.”

“I’mmmm really not,” Steven said with a chuckle. “I didn’t even know what ‘school’ was until you told me.”

“I know but just ... forget about all that for a minute. What about all the _other_ things you’ve done? I--I mean you stopped the Cluster when no one else could. You figured out how to reach out to Peridot. And you were able to get Lapis to put the ocean back. All of those things were pretty smart.”  
  
“I wouldn’t say they were _smart_. I was just ... I dunno. Doing what I usually would.”

“Exactly. Being smart isn’t just a matter of knowing a bunch of facts. Knowing and understanding how people feel is important too. It’s called emotional intelligence.”

“See, the fact you know that proves to me you’re the smart one.”

Connie gave a chuckle, but said, “Steven, I’m being serious. And that’s not all. What about all the instruments you know how to play? Not everyone can just do that. I don’t think even your mom could do that, right?”

“I ...” Steven gave a weak smile. “I guess I never really thought of that.”

“Yeah! You’re ... you’re a lot better than you give yourself credit for. _You_ did all those things, not your mom. You shouldn’t let inheriting some traits from your mom make you feel like you’re not responsible for ... you know ... all the things that make you you.” Connie paused. “Does that make sense?”

Steven’s smile widened a bit. “It does actually. I ... I think I feel a little better. I--I mean I still feel upset, but I think I can deal. I should probably head back.” He cleared his throat. “Hey, Connie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Connie giggled. “What are Jam Buds for, huh?”

Steven giggled back as they said goodbye.

* * *

A few moments later, when Steven walked back into the living room, Pearl ran up to him almost immediately.

“Steven!” she shouted as she crouched down and hugged him.

“Whoa, hey!” Steven said with a laugh. He patted on Pearl’s back. “That’s ... that’s nice but why?”

“I just ... thought you might want a hug, is all,” Pearl said.

Steven beamed at her.

“That was a good guess,” he said.

Lapis and Peridot approached behind Pearl, followed by Mr. Barriga.

Peridot stepped up next to Pearl, her eyes only then drifting up from the floor.

“Steven!” Peridot said. “I would like to ... apologize for my phrasing earlier. I realize I may have accidentally implied your accomplishments were not the result of your own agency. That was not my intent and ...” Peridot awkwardly reached out and patted Steven on the shoulder. “I’m using physical contact as a way of communicating my apology better. Is this helping?”

“Heh, yeah,” Steven said with a laugh. Steven pulled away from Pearl and gave Peridot a hug as well.

“Wow, thanks,” Peridot whispered.

Dante folded his arms and smiled.

“Well, it certainly looks as if your ‘school’ here is just the caring environment you need for your education to thrive,” Dante said. “And, as I already stated, your test score was impressive. It’s an impressive accomplishment that is yours and yours alone.”

“Thanks, Mr. Barriga,” Steven said. He looked at everyone. “I actually called Connie a minute ago and I think I feel better about ... you know, all that.”

“Ah, good. It’s good to have a healthy support system.”

“Well said!” Pearl said. Her eyes darted from Mr. Barriga back to Steven. “And speaking of that ...” Pearl cleared her throat, her voice suddenly shaking every so slightly. “I ... just want to make you aware ... if you ever need additional help with any of your feelings, Mr. Barriga informed us of a ... therapist who recently opened a practice here who can help with ... things.” She hastily added, “But only if you want to! I’m not forcing you to do anything! And I’m not pressuring you to say you want that or--”

Steven chuckled. “No, Pearl, that’s fine. I ... appreciate that.” He laughed. “I didn’t even know you guys knew about therapy.”

Pearl’s cheeks blushed.

“They are aware now,” Mr. Barriga interjected.

Pearl stood up, rubbing her elbow.

“Um, yes,” Pearl said. “I um ... even made an appointment at the one Mr. Barriga suggested.”

Lapis finally spoke up. “I made five.”

“Are you still certain you needed to make five appointments?” Peridot asked.

“ _Yes_.”

Steven nodded. “That’s great. I’m ... I’m not sure if I really am ready to try anything like that right now, but if I feel like I need it, I’m glad you all think that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay, Steven,” Pearl said with a smile. She clasped her hands together. “Now then, let's finish speaking with Mr. Barriga about how best to further your education since you’re such a smart boy.”

Steven blushed as he nodded and sat back on the couch.

Mr. Barriga sat down nearby.

“Well, considering how advanced Steven is, there are some textbooks used by advanced placement courses in high school that he could benefit from...”

Steven considered what Pearl said. He wasn’t sure if he needed therapy, but hearing them speak so positively of it lifted a weight off his chest he never knew was there.

And Pearl and Lapis even made appointments! That was amazing. He hoped it helped them.

Still, Steven couldn’t help but wonder what a therapist who’d speak with the Gems would be like.

* * *

Dr. Becky Brooks hung her phone up after scheduling Ms. Lazuli for her appointment. She wasn’t sure why, but her phone seemed to have a lot of activity today. Perhaps starting a practice out here hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

Jeff came from around the doorway.

“Everything okay, mom?” Jeff said.

Becky placed the phone in her pocket and adjusted her glasses.

“Yes sweetie, just work stuff,” she said. She gave a wry smile. “Now then, let’s go back in the kitchen and you can tell me more about this boy you like.”

Jeff blushed. “Mooom, don’t ask so much about it, it’s embarrassing me.”

“I’m you’re mother, that’s ninety percent of my job,” she said. “We should invite him over so I can show him all your baby pictures.”

“You’re joking, right?”

Becky simply tilted her head down, still giving a good-natured smile.

“Mom? Th-that was a joke right?!” Jeff said as Becky walked back in the kitchen. “Mom? _MOM_?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The emphasis on therapy was partially inspired by the works of [AurigaCapella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AurigaCapella/pseuds/AurigaCapella) who has written a number of great fics focusing on Steven's mental health. She does very good work and I highly recommend reading her work if that subject interests you.


	9. Middle School Prom Pt. 1 (Or: How Connie Derailed a School Dance and Then Things Got More Complicated From There)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Junior Safety Patrol characters are based on the ones that appear in the Steven Universe "Too Cool For School" comic, which I finally actually read after being recommended to in the comments for a while. However, the comic is not required reading to understand this chapter as it MASSIVELY diverges from the comic's depiction of Connie's school and those characters anyway.
> 
> Having said that, the comic is pretty decent, you should check it out if you haven't already and you enjoy SU school stuff.

_Oh no. No no no,_ Connie thought as she stared at the bulletin board. _This can’t be serious._

But there it was, plain as day. On the bulletin board was a flyer advertising the upcoming “Middle School Winter Prom.” And underneath was a printout of all the students who had been nominated as Prom King or Prom Queen.

The only problem was there was only one nominee on the list for Prom Queen: Connie.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Connie mumbled.

Jeff and Peedee approached her from either side, both with backpacks slung over their backs. Jeff’s was half open, nearly spilling out comics. Peedee glanced over at the backpack with a bemused smile before he turned his attention to the bulletin board.

“Yeeeep, that’s about what I expected,” Peedee said.

“Wow,” Jeff said. “Congratulations Connie.”

Connie shook her head. “Congratulations?” she said. “I can’t think of anything I wanted _less_! People treat me differently enough already, I don’t want _more_ attention drawn to me.”

Peedee frowned. Jeff, however, scratched his head.

“I-- I mean, I know people really like you, but do they really treat you that differently?” Jeff said.

Before Connie could reply, she heard someone clear their throat behind her. She turned to see an unpleasantly familiar sight: two members of the Junior Safety Patrol.

Connie didn’t know all their names (there were nearly a dozen of them), but she recognized the members by the telltale yellow sashes. The one who had cleared her throat seemed to be the leader. Honestly, Connie only recognized her because of the winter hat she always wore with a tuft of red hair peeking out. Her name was Karen ... or something like that, Connie thought. The other one was shorter but had thicker arms and black hair; Connie wasn’t sure of her name.

“Excuse me!” Karen said, her eyes closed with hands on her hip. “But there’s no yelling in the halls during--” Her eyes opened and, once she noticed Connie, she stopped.

Connie suppressed a groan. _Yep, here we go again,_ she thought.

Karen chuckled nervously as her confident demeanor vanished.

“Oh, Connie!” she said. “I-I’m so sorry, I had no idea that was you for a second. I didn’t recognize your new hair ... which looks wonderful, by the way!”

Connie touched the back of her head. She was still getting used to the short haircut her mother had given her. She liked it, but it felt weird not to have long hair anymore.

“It’s fine, Karen...”

Karen gave a nervous smile.

The other member spoke up. “It’s actually Catherine.”

“I--I let my friends call me Karen though, so it’s fine!” Karen/Catherine said.

“I’ve never heard anyone in your _life_ call you--”

“BU-BUT ANYWAY,” Catherine-or-whatever said, staring at Connie and ignoring her friend. “I apologize for my attitude a minute ago. Of course I’d never yell at _you_ on purpose.” She clasped her hands together and lowered her head. “I’M SO SORRY!”

The other member gave Catherine a confused look, but said nothing. A moment later, without even looking, Catherine nudged her with her elbow. The member then rolled her eyes and gave her head a slight nod.

“Right, sorry, I guess,” she mumbled.

In a harsh whisper, Catherine said, “I’m sorry, _ma’am_. Don’t screw this up.”

The other member’s eye twitched as she said, in a louder voice, “Sorry, _ma’am_.”

Karen straightened up, an uneasy smile still plastered on her face.

Connie, Peedee, and Jeff all stared in bewilderment. Without a word, Connie glanced at Jeff, silently asking if this display answered his question.

“Yes, well ... we were gonna get to class, so--” Connie said.

“YES. OF COURSE!” Catherine said, nodding. “May I get you anything? I can write you a pass if you need some time to get water or use the bathroom or--”

“We’re good, thanks,” Connie grumbled. “Just looking at the bulletin board...”

“Ah yes! Super excited about that prom, huh?” Catherine said, a more genuine grin forming on her face.

Connie sighed. “I guess ...”

“I voted for you, you know.”

“That’s great ...” Connie continued under her breath. “ _Even though I’m literally the only option._ ”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a great time!” Catherine said in a chipper voice. “I can’t wait to see who’s elected Prom King to see who you dance with!”

 _Oh great, there’s a whole new set of things to worry about there_ , Connie said with a sinking feeling in her chest.

Catherine didn’t seem to notice Connie’s discomfort, because she gave a big smile.

“Buuuut between you and me, I think I have a pretty good idea who might be Prom King, if you know what I mean.” Catherine winked.

Connie blinked, not sure what Catherine meant. She hadn’t even glanced at the Prom King list.

Catherine’s smile faltered as an awkward silence fell.

“W-well anyway, that’s all!” Catherine stammered as she grabbed her companion’s wrist. “We have to go patrol ... something! If you need anything, and I mean anything, don’t hesitate to call us.”

“What, we weren’t going to patrol anything--” the other member mumbled.

“Shut up, Alexis,” Catherine said through gritted teeth, her eyes never leaving Connie. She gave a small wave. “Byyyye.”

With that, she walked off, practically dragging Alexis away.

Jeff and Peedee stood on either side of Connie in stunned silence for a moment.

Finally, Jeff said, “Well, she seemed nice.”

“I guess,” Connie said, shifting uncomfortable. Honestly, being grovelled to wasn’t something Connie appreciated or wanted. “But you see what I mean? I don’t want to go to a dance where everyone acts like _that_ to me. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go at all before this anyway.”

“Really?” Peedee asked.

Connie grimaced. “Yeah ... the last time I went to a dance was kinda ... uncomfortable,” Connie said. The memory of being Stevonnie at the party, feeling alone and anxious, then being bothered by Kevin was not something she wanted to repeat. “And having to dance with whoever is Prom King sure isn’t helping. The thought of dancing with someone I don’t know is even worse.”

Peedee glanced to the bulletin board.

“Um, I wouldn’t worry about that,” Peedee said. “Steven’s on the list of nominees for Prom King.”

“ _What_?!” Connie said, her cheeks glowing red. She looked at the paper and confirmed Steven was indeed on the list. “Bu-but he doesn’t even go to this school!”

“Well, he’s on there,” Peedee said, continuing to scan the paper. “I mean, there’s a bunch of other people on the list too, but come on, if Steven’s an option, I doubt people would vote any other way. It’s a really popular ship.”

“Stop mentioning people shipping me and Steven,” Connie said, hiding her face in embarrassment.

“ _No_.” Peedee chuckled. “So yeah, I think you’re good. I don’t think there’s any other ship a bunch of people would go for or anything like--” Peedee suddenly glared. “Hey, wait a minute _, why am I on the list of nominees too_?!”

Somewhere down the hall, someone shouted out, “Go Team Peedee!”

Peedee’s face went red as he jerked his head towards the voice.

“Who the--” Peedee’s fists clenched as Jeff looked on, bewildered. Peedee glanced over to him. “Sweetie, I’ll be right back. I have to have words with someone.”

Peedee ran down the hallway. Beads of sweat formed on Jeff’s head as he smiled nervously.

“Uh, wait, Peed?” Jeff said as he rushed after him. “Honey? Wait up, let’s calm down!”

Connie watched them run down the hall. She glanced back to Steven’s name on the Prom King list, then to her own name.

She sighed. She honestly wouldn’t mind dancing with Steven, but the fact that it would be at an event with so much attention drawn on her killed her enthusiasm. Dancing with Steven in front of a bunch of people too heavily invested in the idea made Connie nauseous.

 _I could just not show up_ , Connie thought. _Just not show up to the dance at all. It’s not for another week, but I can just try to lay low that long. And it won’t be a big deal. It’s not like Steven would be disappointed_. _Even if he was into the idea, it’s not like he’d have any way of knowing about it._

* * *

When Connie went to the beach house the next day, she was greeted by Steven at the front door, wearing a tuxedo and a top hat.

“Hey Connie!” he said, waving as Connie walked in. “I’m just trying on this suit for the big dance.”

Connie's eye twitched as she stared blankly at him, her mind racing through the list of obscenities that would get her grounded for the rest of her life is she said them aloud.

Steven must have read Connie’s expression, because he started to frown.

“What, you don’t like it?” Steven said.

Connie sighed.

“No, you look adorable,” Connie said as she walked inside Steven’s house, unable to even look at him. She sat on the couch. “How did you find out about the dance?”

“Mr. Barriga told me,” Steven said. “He said I was nominated for Prom King, which is weird, because I didn’t think they nominated kings for election since I thought that kinda had to be passed down or ...” Steven trailed off. He sat down next to Connie and took off his hat. “If ... you don’t want to go with me, that’s fine.”

“What?!” Connie said. “No, I’d love to go to a dance with you! I’m just ...” Connie grabbed the sides of her head and grunted. “I’m just so tired of being stared at by everyone! Being pseudo-famous is like the worst thing that ever happened to me!”

“B-but I thought you thought it was cool at first,” Steven said.

“I did! Going from nobody really caring about you to being someone _everyone_ cares about feels great. It’s a _huge_ rush, especially since I used to be really insecure. Cause it’s like ‘wow, I actually matter, that’s awesome!’ But now ...”

Connie slumped against the back of the couch. Steven laid a hand on her knee.

“But now ...” she whispered. “Like ... now it just makes me feel uncomfortable. People don’t just think I’m cool, they think of me as something _above_ them for some reason. Like they think just because I know how to use a sword and can fight that it makes me a superior person to them in every way. As if I don’t get afraid or upset or ... anything. It’s like they’ve built me up so much in their minds they don’t even think of me as a real person anymore. I’m just this ... big unattainable thing.” Connie’s voice cracked. “And that freaks me out because even though I didn’t ask for it, I feel like now I _have_ to live up to that. I have to live up to standards no person can live up to because people act like I matter to them THAT much and I ... I just sorta miss when nobody even noticed me.”

When Connie finished, Steven took a breath.

“I’m ... really sorry, Connie,” he said. “None of this would have happened to you if you didn’t know me.”

“Oh no, please, Steven. None of this is your fault. I love--”

Steven’s face got red for some reason as Connie paused.

“I--I love spending time with you,” Connie said.

“Oh!” Steven said, cheeks still red. “I ... I do too.”

It took a moment for the lump in Connie’s throat to go away so she could continue speaking.

“I really would like to go to a dance and actually have fun,” Connie said. “I just wish I didn’t have to go to _this_ one and have everyone make it a big deal.”

“Well ...” Steven pumped his fists up. “Well then, let's forget about that dumb prom anyway. We could have our own dance.”

Connie chuckled.

“Really?” she said.

“Yeah!” Steven said. “It can just be for us and our friends!”

Connie smiled. That did sound a lot more appealing.

“But ... what about being Prom King?” Connie said. “Won’t you be disappointed giving that up?”

“No,” Steven said. He dramatically raised his head high and covered his face with his hand. “I shall give up my potential monarchy. Heavy weighs the crown, m’lady.”

Connie laughed.

“So dramatic,” she said. “I ... okay, I guess it would be fun to just do our own thing that night. I ... I just hope too many people won’t make it a big deal if I don’t show up.”

“Well, it is just a school dance,” Steven said. “I can’t imagine it being a _huge_ deal.”

* * *

**THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE ...**

* * *

Catherine tapped the mic on the stage as soon as the DJ (some teenager who made music with a bunch of portable game consoles) lowered the volume. She adjusted her hat to make sure it looked alright. Unlike all the other kids at the dance, who dressed formally, she wore her usual yellow sash and Junior Safety Patrol uniform. After all, she had a job to do. It was totally fine no one asked her to the dance and she had no reason to get dressed up.

Totally.

Catherine cleared her throat and spoke into the mic.

“Okay, let’s quiet down please!” she said.

Most of the students stopped dancing and looked at the stage. Some in the crowd seemed indifferent and talked amongst themselves despite the call for order. Catherine tried not to let it bother her; some people just had no respect for the sash.

“Hello!” Catherine shouted, forcing a bright smile. “ _Is everyone having a good time_?!”

There was silence in response until someone over the crowd yelled out, “You suck, narc!”

There were chuckles of laughter. Catherine didn’t allow her smile to drop. She didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction. Besides, it’s not like this kind of thing didn’t happen a lot anyway.

“ _Great_!” Catherine said, as if she had not heard anything. She pulled an envelope from her pocket. “I have here in my hand the results of the Prom King and Queen election! Would you all like to hear it?”

The crowd immediately changed its tune as kids started cheering.

“Hurray, narc!” yelled the same voice from before.

Catherine chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Okay ...” She pointed towards the DJ at the corner of the room. “Can I get a drum roll?”

The teenage DJ gave a thumbs up, then pushed a button which played some incredibly fake sounding synth drums.

“ _Close enough_!” Catherine opened the envelope. She smiled as she read it. This certainly wasn’t a surprise “The Prom King and Queen are ... Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran!”

A wave of cheering and claps washed over the gym. Catherine clapped as well. After all, she’d voted for both of them.

Even if there had been other choices, Catherine still would have voted for Connie. Not just because she was cool and fought evil wizards or whatever, though knowing the world had such fantastical things made Catherine feel better about life in general. No, it was because Connie was smart and a good student and nice and people respected her without her having to flaunt any authority over them. It was really amazing. She was like a walking reminder life could be wonderful even if it didn’t always seem like it.

And Steven and Connie were her favorite ship in the school, so that made the Prom King choice easy as well.

Catherine smiled. Despite no one asking her to the dance, the fact she’d get to see both of them dancing together would make her night (maybe even her entire _week_ ).

“And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for ... the dance between the King and Queen. Alexis, hit the lights.”

The lights dimmed as a spotlight shone in the middle of the gym. The students backed up to accommodate the space. The DJ played some slow sounding music that was remixed with chiptunes for some reason. Catherine folded her arms, waiting for the school’s favorite power couple to take the stage ...

But nothing happened.

Catherine raised an eyebrow, then leaned back towards the mic.

“Don’t be shy, Connie and Steven. It’s time for the dance,” Catherine said.

Nobody walked up. There were murmurs amongst the crowd.

“Where is she?” someone said.

Catherine gave a nervous laugh.

“M-maybe I wasn’t clear,” Catherine said. “The dance between the King and Queen is supposed to happen right now. Like ... right where that light is. So ... yeah ...”

Still, nobody walked in the spotlight.

Without any prompting, the lights came back up at the spotlight disappeared. Alexis leaned out from behind the stage.

“I don’t think they’re coming out,” Alexis said.

“What?!” Catherine said, raising her voice.

“What’s going on?” someone in the crowd said as everyone began to chatter loudly.

“Now ... l-let’s just calm down,” Catherine said.

Catherine became conscious of the fact she was pacing back and forth. This entire dance was a waste if she didn’t get to see Connie and Steven. It was literally the only reason she’d bothered coming!

“It’s okay,” she said, out loud, dimly aware her monologue was amplified by the mic. “It’s okay, just calm down ... just calm down ...”

“Uh oh, the narc is gonna blow,” the same voice from before said.

“LET’S ALL JUST CALM DOWN.” Catherine pulled her hat off and ran her hand through her sweat-drenched hair. “Let’s just ... UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Catherine yelled into the mic. “Maybe they didn’t hear the announcement! EVERYONE CHECK THE REST OF THE SCHOOL! HURRY, DRAG THEM BACK HERE WHILE THE ATMOSPHERE IS STILL ROMANTIC!”

* * *

“Here we are, m’ lady,” Steven said as Lion emerged from the portal and landed on the beach. He adjusted the top hat on his head and brushed sand from his tuxedo. He gave a friendly stroke to Lion’s mane before he waved his hand up to the temple. “How does prom look from here?”

Connie had her arms around Steven’s waist as she chuckled.

“You know,” Connie said, “it looks remarkably similar to the beach house I go to almost every day.”

“You would think that!” Steven said, raising a finger. “But it’s actually a clever illusion. It is actually completely different from that place because _this_ is prom. The theme just happens to be ‘comforting familiarity.’”

“Fascinating.” Connie was only able to keep a straight face for a moment before she and Steven giggled.

Steven stepped off Lion and held out his hand for Connie. Connie smiled and took it, sliding off Lion.

“I uh ...” Steven’s cheek blushed. “I like your dress.”

Connie looked down at her red dress.

“Steven, this is the same dress I wore to your birthday party,” she said with a laugh.

“I--I know!” Steven said. “I’m allowed to like things I’ve seen before!”

Connie covered her mouth as she laughed.

“That’s true,” Connie said. “I like your top hat.”

“Whaaat, this old thing?” Steven said bashfully. He dragged his foot along the sand nervously before he straightened up. “Oh! Um ... I think I’m supposed to pin this to you.”

Steven pulled out a corsage, which mostly contained pink roses, out of his pocket. A pin was attached to the back.

“Oh! Yeah!” Connie said.

“Where do I pin it?” Steven said.

“I guess like ... the dress strap is fine.”

“O-okay.”

Steven reached out and tried to pin it on Connie’s dress. There was a jolt of pain as the pin pricked her skin.

“Ouch,” she said.

Steven flinched back, looking horrified.

“OH NO, _I’M BLOWING IT_!” Steven shouted. “LION, HELP ME!”

Lion glanced at him, then ran off down the beach without paying Steven any mind.

“ _Traitor_!” Steven shouted after him.

Connie smiled. “It’s fine, Steven.” She looked down and adjusted the corsage on her dress. “It didn’t even break skin.”

“Still, it wasn’t very suave,” Steven mumbled.

Connie felt her cheeks get hot.

“Were you trying to be suave?” Connie said.

Steven froze like a deer in headlights, his eyes drifting away from Connie’s.

“... _nooooo_ ,” he said.

Connie brushed her hair from her eyes, feeling about as bashful as Steven.

“Well um ...” Steven scratched the back of his head. “Shall we go up?”

He offered his hand. Connie gave a nervous smile and took it.

They walked up the steps to the Beach House.

“I ... um ... I hope this party is fun for you,” Steven said, still unable to look Connie in the eye.

“It will be,” Connie said. She gave a frown. “I just hope nobody freaked out about, you know ... me not being at the prom.”

Steven grinned.

“Well, it’s a big dance,” Steven said. “Maybe they haven’t even noticed.”

* * *

“Okay, Bravo Team, status update!” Catherine screamed into the mic. Her hair was messed up and now her entire outfit was covered in sweat. Alexis had come out from backstage to help, but all she’d done so far was stare at Catherine in silence.

The tall, skinny boy who had been assigned leader of the Bravo Team portion of the search party walked forward.

“Umm ... we checked the library and all the downstairs classrooms but she wasn’t there,” he said.

“What about the bathrooms? Did you check the bathrooms?!” Catherine shouted.

“Well ... there was someone in the stall in the boys room, but nobody said anything--”

“ **THEN GO BACK AND BREAK THE STALL DOOR DOWN, YOU COWARDS**!”

* * *

“Here it is, the best prom ever!” Steven said as he and Connie entered the Beach House.

Connie gazed at the transformed living room. It didn’t look terribly different than before. The lights were dimmed, supplemented by Christmas lights hung all around the ceiling. The furniture had been pushed to the sides of the room so there was open area for dancing. A soft, romantic song by Stella was playing over a Bluetooth speaker on the kitchen counter.

Connie and Steven weren’t alone in the house, however. Pearl was there, as expected. She noticed Steven and Connie walk through the door and looked as if she was going to cry happy tears. Lars was in the corner with a scowl on his face, staring at his phone.

There were also four Holo-Pearls nearby, all holding plates of food, which Connie recognized as creations of Steven’s. The plates contained homemade Cookie Cats, Snack Sushi, and Dognuts.

Amethyst was in front of one of the Holo-Pearls, scarfing down an entire Cookie Cat in one bite along with a chunk of the plate.

“So, ooh compf here opten?” she said to the Holo-Pearl, her mouth full.

“DO YOU WISH TO ENGAGE IN COMBAT?” the Holo-Pearl replied.

Amethyst swallowed her food and replied, “Eh, not before the third date.”

Connie smiled before she felt Steven nudge her with his elbow.

“Soooo ... what do you think?” Steven said, tilting his head with a hopeful smile.

“I think I already like this prom better than the real one,” Connie said. She couldn’t believe how relaxed she felt. Granted, it wasn’t a “real” dance, but she’d never conceived of herself being anything but a nervous wallflower at a function like this.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Jeff, wearing a white leisure suit. Behind him was Peedee, who wore the same white tank top he always did except with a clip-on tie on its neck.

“Hi Connie,” Jeff said. “Glad you could make it!”

“Me too,” she said.

Steven’s mouth was agape as he looked at Jeff.

“JEFF, THAT’S THE BEST SUIT I’VE EVER SEEN AND I LOVE IT!” Steven said.

Jeff’s cheeks flushed as he scratched behind his neck.

“Thanks um ... my mom found it at a thrift store ...”

“ _DID THEY HAVE MORE_?!”

Connie covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Peedee’s eyes drifted around the living room.

“I do have to say, you guys did a good job,” Peedee said.

Steven grinned.

“Thanks! Everyone helped a lot. Pearl hung the decorations, Amethyst and I cooked the food, and Garnet and my dad helped pick the music,” Steven said.

“Wow, that’s cool.” Connie looked around. “Where is Garnet anyway?”

Peedee grinned and pointed his thumb behind him.

“She’s over there ... in a manner of speaking,” Peedee said.

Connie raised an eyebrow.

“What does that mea--” Connie craned her head to look over Peedee’s shoulder. “ _Ohhh_.”

On the dance floor Ruby and Sapphire were doing a slow dance. Ruby’s cheeks were a shade redder than normal. Connie could hardly see Sapphire’s face with all the hair but she noticed a smile as Sapphire slid her hands further down Ruby’s hip.

“ _Sapphy_!” Ruby said nervously.

Sapphire giggled.

Connie realized Peedee, Jeff, and Steven were watching the two dance as well.

“Aren’t they supposed to be the chaperones?” Jeff said.

“Yep _,”_ Peedee said. “I think they’re having more fun doing this.”

“That’s okay!” Steven said. “We have tons of chaperones aside from just the Gems! See, Lars is here too.”

Steven pointed to the kitchen, where Lars was stuffing Snack Sushi from the Holo-Pearl’s plates in his pockets.

“HI LARS!” Steven yelled. “THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING!”

“ _I’m here against my will_!” Lars shouted back.

“GREAT! HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME!”

Lars rolled his eyes as he reached for another Snack Sushi.

“SNACKING LIMIT EXCEEDED!” the Holo-Pearl said.

Lars scowled.

“Shut up, you’re not the boss of--”

“PARRY!”

In a flash, the Holo-Pearl snatched the Snack Sushi from Lars’s fingers. He blinked as he looked at his fingers, then back at the Holo-Pearl. He glared and walked away, muttering something angry about holograms and Skynet before returning to the corner of the room.

Steven gestured towards Lars.

“See? Plenty of capable adult supervision!” he said.

Peedee quirked an eyebrow.

“Steven, you do know its normal to _not_ want that much supervision at a dance, right?” Peedee said.

“Oh, really?” Steven shook his head confused. “Why?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Peedee, I’m two years older than you.”

“So?”

Connie found herself unconsciously taking Steven’s hand.

“Steven, you’re adorable,” Connie said.

Steven gave a goofy grin then turned away. Connie couldn’t help but smile.

“Wow,” Connie said. “I haven’t even danced yet and I’m already having more fun here than I think I ever would have at the other prom.”

Jeff chuckled.

“Well ... yeah ...” He scratched the back of his head. “Maybe dancing is something we ... all could be doing ...”

Jeff tilted his head towards Peedee, his eyes wide like a doe.

“If someone, I dunno who, wanted to ask me to dance ...” Jeff said.

Peedee’s cheeks turned the faintest shade of red as he narrowed his eyes.

“Is that a hint?” Peedee said.

“M-maybe,” Jeff said. His hands fidgeted together. “I mean, for real, if you didn’t want to, it’s okay, I just--”

Peedee rolled his eyes with a smile, then gripped Jeff’s hand.

“Come on,” he said as he pulled Jeff to the dance floor. Jeff smiled as he was pulled along.

Connie and Steven both laughed before they caught each other's eyes. They broke their gaze a moment later. Connie’s heart pounded and, for some reason, she found herself unable to look at anything but her shoes.

She wasn’t sure why she should be nervous. After all, she’d danced with Steven before. It wasn’t a big deal. This just happened to be at an actual dance.

A dance that was basically a replacement for prom. And they were there together.

 _Nothing to be nervous about at all_ , Connie thought, heart in her throat.

She felt Steven’s hand brush against hers. She turned to him and saw a smile on his face that twisted her stomach into a knot.

“Wanna dance?” he asked.

Connie’s mouth felt dry all of a sudden, so she only managed a nod.

 _What is your problem, Connie?_ she thought.

Steven led Connie gently by the hand to the dance floor. The romantic song was still playing so Connie realized with dawning horror this would be a slow dance.

Not that that was a _bad_ thing, it’s just ... the thought of it made Connie’s legs feel heavy all of a sudden.

Steven’s eyes widened in concern, noticing the look on Connie’s face.

“Are you nervous, Connie?” he asked gently.

“N-no,” she said in the least confident tone imaginable.

Steven gave a nervous laugh.

“Y-yeah, me neither,” Steven said.

There was an awkward pause. Out of the corner of her eye, Connie could see Peedee and Jeff dancing next to Ruby and Sapphire. Peedee and Jeff both had their hands far above the hip and Jeff’s face was so red he almost looked like another Ruby.

Connie cleared her throat.

“I think the um ... atmosphere is making it hard to relax for some reason,” Connie said.

“Oh, really?” Steven said. He cringed. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not bad or anything. Just ... it feels like the pressure is real. Like people are watching us.”

“I ... don’t think anyone is watching,” Steven said. His eyes darted to the side of the dance floor. “Except Pearl.”

Connie turned to see Pearl standing on the sidelines, her eyes huge and filled with happy tears. When she noticed Connie looking at her, her eyes darted to Steven and she walked away, acting as if something in the kitchen had suddenly monopolized her attention.

Connie felt a chill down her spine. Steven gave a reassuring smile.

“If you don’t want to dance, that’s okay,” Steven said.

“No, that’s the thing,” Connie said, her heart pounding. “I want to. I _really_ want to.”

Steven smiled. Hesitantly, Connie approached him and they embraced, slowly moving to the music.

In her ear, Steven said, “It’s okay. If you get nervous, just let me know.”

Connie almost snorted as her hands slid to his hips.

“Steven, I _always_ feel a little nervous when we dance,” Connie said.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Connie chuckled. “I’m always afraid I’m gonna step on your feet and you’ll hate me forever or something.”

Steven leaned back and let out a laugh.

“That’s ... really funny,” Steven said. “.... not that I worry about the same thing or anything like that, heh ...”

Connie smiled sweetly. She pulled Steven gently towards her.

“I’m ... really glad we got to do this,” Connie said.

Connie was so close to Steven she could feel his heartbeat.

“Y-yeah, me too.”

Connie felt safe. This was all she could have wanted from a dance.

She barely noticed the pink light emitting from Steven’s gem.

As it got brighter and engulfed them both, she found herself thinking that nothing could possibly ruin this wonderful night for her ...

* * *

“Catherine, we need to talk,” Alexis said. “I think you might be a little too stressed.”

“Stressed? No no ...” said Catherine as she paced back and forth across the stage. “I’m fine. Great. Never better. _We just need to find Connie and Steven_.”

The gym was mostly empty now except for Alexis and Catherine. The rest of the students were diligently searching the school grounds in three seperate teams. Catherine may not have had anyone who respected or noticed her normally, but the situation seemed to make everyone else forget that.

“Um ... okay,” Alexis said. “So here’s an idea I’ve been toying with: maybe she just didn’t come?”

Catherine froze and stared at Alexis.

“What?!” Catherine said. “No. No, that’s impossible. She had to come. She’s the Prom Queen and the most popular girl in school, she has to.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. It’s pretty easy to stay home. I only showed up because _you_ wanted to come. Like I could be playing a ranked match right now ...”

Catherine glared.

“You would pass up prom to play video games?” Catherine said, aghast.

“Uh, _yeah_. It’s not like I had a date for this or anything. And besides, this isn’t like ‘prom’ prom. This is just a middle school prom. It’s like a pretend prom--”

Catherine took Alexis by the shoulders and shook her.

“No! Don’t say that! It’s not a pretend prom! It’s awesome and amazing and it was worth looking forward too and as soon as Connie and Steven dance and we all get to see it, _it’s gonna prove that_!”

Alexis blinked, staring at Catherine as if she had bugs crawling out of her eyes or something.

“Catherine ... are you _okay_?” Alexis said, her voice measured and careful. “You seem really attached to this for some reason.”

“I am not!” Catherine took off her hat and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “I just ... I dunno! It just seems like it’d be really sweet to see and I feel like I deserve to see something ... nice ... happen.”

Alexis took a step back, her dark skin slightly blanching.

“... are things bad at home again? Is that it?” Alexis said.

Catherine folded her arms. _We’re not going there_ , Catherine thought. _I shouldn’t have to think about that right now._

“No,” Catherine said.

“It is, isn’t it?” Alexis said. “Did your mom just bail again?”

Catherine hesitated.

“ _No_ , she didn’t, just ... you don’t even know what you’re talking about. Just leave it alone.”

“Did she even leave any money this time? Or _food_?” Anger seeped into Alexis’s voice.

“She didn’t leave, just shut up.”

Alexis threw her hands up. “That’s a no. That means she took all your guys’ money and dipped out just so she could get--”

Catherine felt her blood boil as her hands curled into fists. She stepped forward, getting in Alexis’s face.

“Don’t talk about my mom, Alexis!” she shouted

Alexis didn’t even flinch. She only narrowed her eyes. Despite the look on her face, her voice was measured.

“You shouldn’t have to live like this, Cat,” she said.

Catherine’s fists unclenched of their own accord. She grimaced, unable to be certain if she wanted to cry, if she wanted to hug Alexis or punch her, unable to think about anything but her mom and her empty house ...

The doors of the gym burst open as a throng of students came in.

The tall boy who led Bravo Team stepped up again.

“She’s not in the school. We checked everywhere,” he said.

Catherine’s eyes lingered on Alexis for a moment, before she shook her head. _Just don’t think about any of that_ , Catherine thought. _Focus on this. Focus on the thing that’ll make everyone happy._

“W-well ...” Catherine said, approaching the mic. “She ... must have had something happen. We should go out and look for her.”

“Cat ...” Alexis said, her anger gone, almost pleading.

Catherine realized this, but couldn’t contain her anger from before. She covered the mic.

“If you don’t want to be here, just go home and play your video game or whatever,” Catherine said. “I’m fine. Everything is going to be fine.”

Catherine tried her best not to look at Alexis, but out the corner of her eye, she could see her facial features soften. She tried to tell herself she didn’t see tears in the corners of Alexis’s eyes when she turned and walked away.

Catherine almost called after her, but ultimately said nothing. She had more important things to worry about. After all, Connie and Steven must be in some kind of trouble. Why else wouldn’t they be here? They were so nice so they must have cared about all the students. They wouldn’t just leave them and disappoint them all, right?

 _No_ , Catherine thought. _They wouldn’t._

Catherine gulped and spoke into the microphone.

“Alright everyone!” Catherine said. “Clearly Connie must be in some kind of trouble!”

There was a rabble amongst the crowd, murmurs of “That’s bad” and “What?” and “Seriously?”

“That’s right!” Catherine yelled. She pulled the microphone from its stand. “Now what are we going to do about it?!”

“Go home?” yelled a boy in the crowd.

“ **NO, WE’RE NOT GONNA FREAKING GO HOME!** ” screamed Catherine so loud there was a screech of feedback from the speakers. Several students covered their ears.

“Sorry,” Catherine said a moment later, trying to regain her composure. Catherine cleared her throat and tapped the mic. “Testing, testing... okay. Right! Well you know what I say? I say we go out there, find Connie and Steven, and go get whatever monster is keeping them from us!”

“Huh?” said a boy in the crowd. Indistinct chatter ran throughout the crowd.

“‘Get’ it?”

“I don’t know how to fight ...”

“Can we have something to eat now?”

“Come on, guys!” Catherine said. “Think of all the times Connie has put her life on the line for _us_...”

Some girl in a white dress shouted, “Well, I don’t actually know any time that’s happened ...”

“Well, clearly she’s fighting monsters or something and that’s probably saved us more times than we’ll ever know!” Catherine stomped her foot. “Maybe we can’t fight werewolves or whatever alone like she can. But together, as an angry mob of people, we can do some good in the world!”

Catherine raised her fist.

“So let’s get out there, grab some torches and pitchforks, and help save our Prom King and Queen! _Can you dig it_?!”

There was a heavy silence in the crowd until the Bravo Team leader raised a finger.

“Um ... we don’t have any torches and pitchforks or anything ...” he said.

Catherine sighed.

“There’s sporks in the cafeteria and there are flashlights in the utility closet down the hall. Those are close enough.”

“Oh, okay.”

With that, the crowd whipped into a frenzy. Dozens of voices spoke at the same time.

“Yeah, this’ll be fun!”

“ _It’s go time, baby_!”

“‘ _I SAY WE KILL THE BEAST_!’”

“Stop quoting that movie!”

“NEVER!”

Catherine smiled and then dropped the mic on the stage as the students filed out the gym doors.

Maybe now tonight would actually turn out good. With all of them working on this together, they had to succeed. They _had_ to. Nothing could possibly ruin this night for her.

* * *

Nearby, Sour Cream stepped from his DJ turntable after that girl’s little speech.

He immediately pulled out his cell phone and called Steven’s number. Unfortunately, after a few rings, it went to voicemail.

“Hey uh ... buddy? It’s Sour Cream,” he said. “Listen, um ... you guys might have sort of a problem ...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued next chapter!


	10. Middle School Prom Pt. 2 (Or: What to Do When Your Party Gets Crashed By the Whole School)

“Alright! Everyone have a spork and a flashlight?” Catherine yelled as she led the students into the parking lot.

There were loud cries of “YEAH!” The crowd held up their plastic flashlights and sporks.

“I got a soup ladle,” the Bravo Team leader boy said.

“ _Wonderful_!” Catherine said. “Now then, are we ready to go help Steven and Connie?!”

A cheer went over the crowd.

Catherine’s heart raced. Not only was she going to likely see Steven and Connie by the end of the night, but people were _actually_ listening to her now. And she was leading all of Connie’s adoring fans to help whatever trouble she was in, so she’d be doing a good deed too.

_This is the best idea I’ve ever had!_ Catherine thought.

“Right then!” Catherine pointed dramatically ahead. “Let's get out there and rescue them!”

Despite her dramatic point, no one moved. Catherine remained frozen in place.

Behind her, the Bravo Team leader raised his soup ladle.

“Um ... hey?” the Bravo Team leader said. “Does um ... does anyone actually know where Steven or Connie like ... live?”

There was silence in the crowd as a bead of sweat dripped down Catherine’s face.

“ **OH** , **SON OF A BI--** ”

* * *

Stevonnie opened their eyes to see Jeff, Peedee, Pearl, Lars, Ruby, Sapphire, and Amethyst staring down at them. A Holo-Pearl also stood nearby, holding half of an empty plate with a large chunk broken off.

“Stevonnie, are you alright?!” Pearl said, leaning down and taking them by the shoulders.

Amethyst gently pushed Pearl back.

“Pearl, calm down!” Amethyst said. “They need some air and your nose is gonna take up all of it!”

“ _No it won’t_!”

The Holo-Pearl nearby said, “DO YOU WISH TO ENGAGE IN REFRESHMENT?”

“ _Shut up_!” Pearl shouted back.

“REFUSAL ACCEPTED!”

Stevonnie clutched their head and sat up. They looked down at themselves, seeing they were wearing a tuxedo with a red dress-turned-miniskirt over it. The pink corsage was pinned to their dress strap, just as it had when it belonged to Connie.

“What happened?” Stevonnie groaned.

Jeff pumped his fists.

“You two danced then you did your Shazam thing and passed out on the floor!” Jeff said.

“Oh right,” Stevonnie said. “I think that might have been um ... nerves or something.”

Peedee gave a sly smile.

“Uh huh. Was that Connie’s nerves or Steven’s nerves?” he asked.

Stevonnie felt their cheeks flush.

“Uh ... both? I guess?” they said.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Peedee said with a nod.

Ruby and Sapphire, who were holding hands, were both smiling.

“Pretty good dance so far, isn’t it?” Sapphire said.

Stevonnie gave a chuckle.

They looked to Lars, who had been silent but had an unmistakably shocked look on his face.

Stevonnie frowned.

“Oh um ... sorry if I made you worry or anything, Lars,” Stevonnie said. “Steven is really fine, he-- we’re just--”

Lars glared and stuck his finger in Stevonnie’s face.

“STEVEN, YOU’RE SUCH A JERK!” Lars screamed.

Stevonnie, as well as everyone else, was taken aback.

“Uh, what?” Stevonnie said.

Lars ground his teeth.

“That hot person at the Big Donut that one time who Sadie and I gave free donuts, THAT WAS JUST YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND THIS WHOLE TIME?!” he shouted.

“... girlfriend?” Stevonnie said, feeling the unmistakable sensation of Connie’s stomach twisting into knots.

“Don’t change the subject!” Lars said. “You're two kids in a not-a-kid suit! Do you have any idea how awkward that is for me?!”

“Lars, just calm down--”

“ _When exactly were you planning on telling me that was you_?!”

“Probably never,” Stevonnie said with a nervous laugh.

Lars’s hands shook with anger.

“STEVEN, GET OUT OF THERE NOW SO I CAN PUNCH YOU!”

Stevonnie backed away.

“N-now Lars, will that really make you feel any better?”

“ _YES_!”

“But--”

Pearl stepped forward.

“Now, let’s just all calm down. We don’t want to start a fight.”

Peedee gave a devious smile.

“I kinda do, cause Lars would freaking lose,” Peedee said.

“PEEDEE!” Jeff exclaimed.

“ _Well, he would_!”

Lars barely seemed to hear the exchange as he grabbed the scruff of Stevonnie’s neck.

As Ruby, Sapphire, and Amethyst tried to pull Lars away, Stevonnie’s eyes darted towards the Holo-Pearl’s, whose eyes began to glow red.

“ _Lars, wait_ \--”

But before Lars could react, a sword popped into existence in the Holo-Pearl’s hand.

“THREAT TO PARTYGOERS DETECTED!” the Holo-Pearl shouted as she charged towards Lars.

Pearl stiffened as she realized what was happening.

“Wait, no, _that human is nothing close to a threat_!” Pearl shouted, but the Holo-Pearl did not respond.

Ruby, Sapphire, and Amethyst all let go as they moved forward to stop the Holo-Pearl. However, at the last moment, the Holo-Pearl leapt in the air over them.

Her sword was raised overhead as she was about to come down on Lars.

Lars’s face was pale, his body frozen in place.

“ _LARS_!” Stevonnie shouted as their training kicked in. They pushed Lars back, who fell against the floor.

Stevonnie wound their fist back as Holo-Pearl came down, ducking from the sword’s swing and driving their fist into the Holo-Pearl’s stomach.

Static rippled through the Holo-Pearl’s form as the holographic sword fell to the ground.

“DEFEAT ACCEPTED!” the Holo-Pearl said as she dissolved out of existence.

Stevonnie took a breath and exhaled.

“That was close,” Stevonnie said.

They looked down at Lars on the floor, who was staring in shock.

“You okay, Lars?” they asked.

Lars gave a nervous laugh.

“Heh... hehe, I’m great,” Lars said. “I ... almost got my head chopped off. Wow ...”

Jeff strode over and put a hand on Lars’s shoulder.

“If you need to talk about it, my mom’s a therapist,” Jeff said.

Peedee stood behind Jeff, looking very guilty.

“Yeah, I mean ...” Peedee sighed. “I ... wasn’t serious about wanting to see a fight, I didn’t want you to get hurt, even if you _are_ a total jerk.”

“Heh,” Lars said, shaking ever so slightly. “Can’t ... think of a good comeback, heart still racing.”

Stevonnie turned towards Pearl, who was speaking to the Holo-Pearls in the kitchen who were uninvolved in the conflict.

“Holo-Pearls, immediately classify all unarmed humans as permanently not a threat!”

“COMMAND ACCEPTED!” said all the Holo-Pearls.

Stevonnie shook their head and helped Lars off the floor.

“Lars, I am so sorry,” Stevonnie said.

“It’s ... it’s whatever, Steven.”

“It’s Stevonnie.”

“Oh. Yeah Sorry.” Lars rubbed the back of his neck. “Whew I uh ... gosh, I feel like this might mess me up for kind of a long time or something. Maybe I should lie down or--”

There was a jingle. Lars looked down and grabbed his phone from his pocket.

“SOUR CREAM!” he yelled, cheeks red. He pressed a button and held the phone to his ear. “HI SOUR CREAM!” There was a pause. “No no, I’m cool, tonight’s been great.”

Peedee gave a dry laugh.

“Sure took him a long time to bounce back from that ...” Peedee said.

“Uh huh?” Lars’s eyes widened. “Oh? Um ... okay.” Lars put his hand over the receiver. “He uh ... he wanted to talk to Steven.”

“Oh! Okay.” Stevonnie grabbed the phone. “Hi Sour Cream.”

“Um ... hello?” Sour Cream said over the phone. “Is this Steven?”

“Yes. Sorta. He’s kinda fused as a singular being right now.” Stevonnie paused. “That’s me. Or ... we. I’m the singular being. It’s complicated.”

“... right on,” Sour Cream said, in a tone clearly indicating he barely understood that. “So um ... yeah. I was DJing for this dance and ... well, to make a long story short, they think you and your girlfriend are in trouble so they’re looking for you.”

_WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING ‘GIRLFRIEND’?!_ both Connie and Steven seemed to scream internally as their stomach contorted.

Once that shock passed, Stevonnie shook their head.

“Well, I’m-- _we’re_ not in trouble so just tell them we’re fine!” Stevonnie said.

“Um ... well, they kinda ... already left.”

“Well, where are you?!” Stevonnie asked.

“I’m ... still at the dance. I mean ... nobody’s here now, but a gig is a gig.”

Stevonnie’s eye twitched as they sighed.

“Well ... thank you for letting me know,” Stevonnie said. They handed the phone back to Lars, a sour look on their face. They clutched their shoulders together and walked several feet away.

They needed a moment to speak alone.

“What’s wrong?” Stevonnie said.

“You know what’s wrong,” Stevonnie also said. “I just wanted to have fun at this dance.”

“It was fun though.”

“Yeah, but it’s not gonna be fun if they kick the door down here. I wanted to avoid all that.”

“W-well, they thought we were in trouble, so I’m sure they were trying to help.”

Stevonnie folded their arms.

“That’s not helping though,” Stevonnie muttered.

“Well ...” Stevonnie cleared their throat. “Maybe we’re still fine. This is our secret identity. No one knows this is us.”

Stevonnie brightened up.

“Hey, yeah,” Stevonnie said. “All we have to do is stay like this and we can just lie and say we never saw them. That’s a great idea! I feel so much better.”

Stevonnie blushed and scratched their head.

“Aww, shucks,” they said. “Will a hug help?”

“Of course.”

Stevonnie hugged their shoulders close with a bright smile on their face.

Stevonnie’s eyes popped open a moment later, now conscious of the fact Peedee, Jeff, Lars, and the Gems were staring at them. Stevonnie realized how insane that entire conversation with themself must have been to watch.

Stevonnie blushed and turned away. No one said anything until Ruby strode up and patted Stevonnie on the back.

“Don’t worry, it happens,” Ruby said.

“Yes,” Sapphire agreed.

Stevonnie shrunk their head into their shoulders. Thankfully, no one else said anything else to make them feel self-conscious.

Peedee frowned.

“Are people actually trying to find you guys here?” Peedee asked.

Stevonnie nodded.

Pearl grimaced.

“That certainly is a problem,” Pearl said. “For one thing, it’s a gross invasion of our privacy. And second, we didn’t prepare enough refreshments to account for other guests.”

“I guess we could call the police about it, but we’re all guilty of massive space crimes, so maybe we shouldn’t?” Amethyst said, shrugging. “Anyone got any other ideas?

Ruby clenched her fists as the room got mysteriously warmer.

“ _We could firmly ask them to leave_ ,” Ruby said, her gauntlets forming seemingly of their own accord.

“Calm down, Ruby,” Sapphire said, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“I am!” Ruby said through gritted teeth. “This is my calm face!”

“Ruby, Garnet is our calm face.”

“THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT.”

Stevonnie shook their head.

“No no, we don’t need to do anything like that,” Stevonnie said. “Once they see Connie isn’t here as far as they know, everything should be fine. There shouldn’t be any reason why this should escalate further.”

* * *

After Catherine found out Steven lived at the Temple ( _thank you, Keep Beach City Weird blog_ , she thought), she asked the mob if she could stop at her house to get her sword.

The crowd waited outside her dinged-up trailer patiently, most of them absorbed in their phones or talking amongst themselves.

_Good_ , Catherine said. Maybe unlike Alexis, they’ll mind their own business about her home.

“I’ll just be a minute,” Catherine said as she walked inside.

She closed the door quickly behind her. She leaned against the door and took a deep breath.

It was dark inside the house.

“Mom?” Catherine shouted.

Unsurprisingly, there was no answer. Catherine was certain she wasn’t back yet; when she bailed, she was usually gone for days.

Still ... Catherine wished she was there.

“ _Mom_!” she called again.

She reached for the light switched and flicked it on, but nothing happened.

Catherine sighed. She’d forgotten that mom hadn’t paid the light bill again. Catherine would have done it herself if there had been any money in the bank.

“I uh ... I just stopped by to get something,” Catherine yelled to the probably-empty house. “I’m gonna go help someone! It’s um ... it’s a little dangerous! I hope that’s okay!” Catherine’s voice got lower as she spoke. “M-might not ... come back or ...” She trailed off.

She squinted her eyes. There was no one in the living room. In the darkness all she could make out was the coffee table, which only had a bunch of metal spoons and a lighter on it.

A wave of nausea hit her at the sight of it, but she shook her head.

“ _Whatever_ ,” she muttered angrily.

She walked down the dark hallway to her room. Catherine’s room once had a lot more in it, but mom selling things for more money she used on ... not-bills meant it was pretty barren now. She only had her bed and the pile of clothes in the corner (the dresser that had once held them was long gone).

Or so it would seem. Catherine held onto the bed frame and pushed it out of the way, revealing a small hole in the wall.

Catherine reached in. She started keeping valuables here after the last few times stuff important to her vanished.

She reached around in the hole. As she searched, she felt a cereal bar. Suddenly conscious of how hungry she was, she pulled it out and furiously tore it open. She shoved it in her mouth, engulfing it in three bites.

Once she finished, she continued searching. She felt her VHS copy of _The Black Crystal_ , which she couldn’t watch anymore because they had no TV anymore; she still couldn’t bear to get rid of it. Finally, she felt something cold and metal.

“Yes!”

Catherine pulled the sword from the wall. She gazed at it, shining in what little moonlight peeked through the window blinds.

She’d gotten it online with a gift card she got for Christmas from Alexis’s mom. It was decorative, not even sharp, but it was by far the coolest thing she’d ever gotten. It wasn’t as cool as the giant, physics defying sword Connie used, but Catherine thought it was enough to defend herself.

After all, a dull sword was still a half-decent club, she figured.

She got to her feet holding the sword when suddenly she felt her phone vibrate. She pulled out her cheap flip-phone. It was Alexis.

Catherine thought of not answering but felt a pang of guilt at the thought. She sighed and flipped her phone open.

“Hello?” she said.

“Hey,” Alexis said in her ear. She sounded quieter, more awkward than usual. “Look, I uh ... I’m sorry if I seemed overly harsh before.”

“Oh,” Catherine said, almost absentmindedly. “Well ... thanks. I appreciate that. Listen, I can’t talk right now, I’m in the middle of a thing--”

“Cat. Look. It’s ...” Alexis paused. “Whatever you’re gonna try to do with ... ‘saving’ Steven and Connie isn’t going to end well.” She somehow pronounced the word “saving” with quotes over it. Catherine would have been impressed if that didn’t annoy her so much.

“Well, someone has to save them! It’s about helping them--”

Alexis raised her voice again.

“Cat, this has never been about helping anyone except you because _all of this is about what you want_.”

Catherine grimaced.

“Well ... thanks for apologizing,” Catherine said sarcastically.

“I ...” Alexis lowered her voice. “Look I’m sorry just ... just stop. Screw the dance. Come over to my house. I’ll even get mom to dig the old TV out so we can watch that stupid movie you love. Don’t ... don’t do something that’ll just get you hurt. You _should_ do something fun with your mom gone again--”

“ _My mom is not gone_!” Catherine shouted. “I already told you that! I don’t know why you can’t get that through your head! I just ... I just talked to her a minute ago! I’m at my house to get something and she’s fine! _Everything is fine_!”

“I ... Catherine, when you get like this, I already don’t believe you.”

Catherine squeezed her phone so hard she heard plastic crack.

“Well, maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do, cause I feel _GREAT_ right now! And I’m gonna have a great night and help people I admire and do something important and it’s gonna be wonderful! You wanna talk about me not getting hurt? _So far the only thing hurting me is my best friend who seems to think I’m an idiot who needs to be looked after like a baby! So just leave me alone!”_

Catherine flipped the phone closed and hurled it against the wall of her room. She was breathing heavily, almost seething, clutching the sword in her other hand.

She stared at the phone on the floor for minutes before her breathing finally slowed. Alexis’s words echoed in the back of her head.

_You should do something fun with your mom gone again ..._

She’d guessed exactly right, of course. Alexis always did. That made Catherine even madder, that be right about that but be so wrong about everything else.

Catherine picked up her phone.

She’d show Alexis though. She _would_ have fun tonight. Despite her mom and Alexis and ... whatever was keeping Steven and Connie away conspiring against her, she’d make sure everything turned out right. She’d show them all. She’d have fun. She’d fix everything.

She’d prove what she wanted was important.

And it’ll be _great_.

After a moment lingering on the empty house, she walked back to the front door. She held her hand over the knob for just a moment, taking a breath and rubbing her eyes. She forced a smile then walked back outside.

She held the sword over her head like she was a general in a fantasy novel.

“Alright! Let’s go save the prom!” she shouted.

* * *

“So here’s the plan,” Pearl said to Stevonnie and all the other partygoers. “We will act completely casual so that when these misguided humans show up, it will just appear as if we’re having a normal human party.”

“So basically just ... do what we were doing before,” Amethyst said. She rolled her eyes. “Great plan, P.”

Pearl blushed. “Well ... yes. But we’ll be extra casual.”

“Got it!” Amethyst said as she flopped on the couch and pretended to sleep.

“Yes, great!” Pearl said. “Everyone join Amethyst and do all the things you’d normally do in this situation, except more so!”

Jeff nodded.

“Okay! I’ll stand in the corner and feel self-conscious in this public setting!” Jeff said.

“ _Excellent_!” Pearl said.

Peedee folded his arms with a smile.

“I’ll make sarcastic comments about this current situation,” Peedee said.

“Yes! That’s the spirit, Fry Person!”

Lars raised his finger dramatically in the air.

“I’ll go home and call this whole thing dumb because it’s dumb!” Lars said.

“Why are you here again?” Pearl asked.

“PARRY!” one of the Holo-Pearls in the back said.

Pearl rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“I need to install a mute function ...” she mumbled.

Stevonnie gave a weak smile before walking to the window. They peeked outside. No sign of anything.

They took a breath. They could feel Connie’s nerves and frustration echo throughout their body. Even the half of them that was Steven could not quell the turmoil.

They felt something brush against their back. They turned to see Ruby and Sapphire again, holding hands.

“It’ll be alright, Stevonnie,” Sapphire said.

Stevonnie gave a weak smile.

“I hope so ...” Stevonnie said.

“It will,” Sapphire said. “Just try not to be so hard on yourself. Things will work out.”

Ruby laughed.

“Yeah, trust her. My better half always knows what’s up,” Ruby said.

Sapphire giggled and waved her hand.

“Oh, _stop_ ,” she said, snickering.

Stevonnie smiled ... until they heard a distant shout. They looked out the window again and were surprised to see a crowd of students marching up the Beach House steps. There were flashlights and, for some weird reason, utensils in their hands.

Stevonnie turned back and yelled inside the house.

“They’re here!” they shouted.

Everyone, even Lars, stiffened in surprise.

“Oh gosh, we need to be more casual!” Amethyst said, craning her head up. “Quick Pearl, lay down on the couch with me!”

“Alright!” said Pearl. “... wait, what?”

“There’s no time!” Stevonnie said. “They’re almost on the porch now! They’re about to break down the door--”

Just then, there was a gentle knock at the door. Stevonnie raised an eyebrow.

“... or maybe they’ll just knock,” Stevonnie said.

Pearl looked towards the door. “I’ll get it,” she said. She began to move towards the door before Stevonnie held their hand up.

“No, ma’am,” Stevonnie said. “You’ve done enough for us tonight. I’ll handle this.”

“Are ... you sure?” Pearl said.

Stevonnie nodded.

“Well ... alright then,” she said.

Stevonnie took a breath and strode towards the door.

_It’ll be alright_ , Steven thought.

_I hope so_ , Connie thought. _I just wish we didn’t have to deal with all this and could have kept dancing._

_Well ... we’re Stevonnie. So the dance never really ended._

Stevonnie gave a goofy smile.

_You doof_ , Connie thought.

Stevonnie opened the door.

Standing in the doorway was Catherine, holding a sword in her hand.

Stevonnie grimaced. Catherine, however, had a pleasant smile on her face, despite standing in front of a crowd of students who had sporks and flashlights in hand.

“Oh um ... hello!” Catherine said, letting her sword drop to her side. “We um ... we were just looking for Steven and Connie. Is ... this Steven’s residence?”

Inside Stevonnie’s head, she felt a rising anger coming from Connie.

_That girl,_ Connie thought. _I should have figured she had something to do with this!_

_It’s okay, let’s be cool,_ Steven thought.

“Um ... no,” Stevonnie said. “No, I’m sorry, I believe you’ve made a mistake.”

Catherine’s smile fell.

“Oh, really?” Catherine said. She glanced back to the crowd and glanced back. “But ... I really thought he lived here. I looked it up online and everything.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” Stevonnie said, shrugging. “You can’t believe everything you read on the internet, I guess.”

“Oh ...” Catherine hung her head. “Well ... okay I guess, sorry to--”

Catherine darted her eyes up. Her eyes went wide.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Catherine darted past Stevonnie before they could stop her and pointed inside at Peedee and Jeff. “ _What are you two doing here_?”

Jeff, who was standing in the corner next to Peedee, went pale.

“Uhhhhhh ...” Jeff said.

Pearl stepped forward.

“Al-right, I think it’s time for you to leave, little girl!” she said, forcing a smile.

“No wait, something funny is going on here!” Catherine said, waving the sword around. “Is this some kind of trick?”

“Put that down before you hurt someone,” Pearl said, more firmly.

Stevonnie approached from behind Catherine, trying very, _very_ hard to ignore the impulse Connie had to wring her neck, when their eyes were drawn to the three Holo-Pearls in the kitchen. Their eyes went red.

“Uh oh ...” Stevonnie muttered. They shouted. “CATHERINE, DROP YOUR SW--”

“WEAPON SIGHTED!” one Holo-Pearl said.

“THREAT TO PARTYGOERS DETECTED!” another said.

Pearl, as well as the other Gems, all cringed, knowing where this was going.

Catherine stared at the holograms, frozen in place, still holding her sword.

“Um ...” she said.

“What, no!” Pearl shouted. “She’s not a thre--”

The Holo-Pearls all had holographic swords appear in their hand in unison.

**“YOU DRAW YOUR SWORD IN VAIN!”** they shouted as they leapt into the air.

Stevonnie felt panic jolt through their entire body.

“CATHERINE!” they shouted.

They didn’t waste another moment. They clenched their fist. A pink glow emitted from their Gem as their shield appeared.

A lot of things happened at once.The Gems summoned their weapons as well. In the corner, Jeff and Peedee both shouted towards Catherine, who seemed paralyzed with fear. Lars wordlessly rushed towards Catherine. At the door, the crowd of students that had been peeking through started to scream.

“OH MY GOD, GHOST BIRD PEOPLE WITH SWORDS!” someone shouted.

“ _TO HELL WITH THIS_!” someone else shouted as people started to run. Only one tall boy seemed to be shouting after them before reluctantly running himself.

Meanwhile, the Holo-Pearls in machine-like precision started to fall from the air, their swords pointed down. Pearl hurled her spear at them just as Amethyst swung out her whip, but they both missed, their weapons colliding in mid air.

Catherine couldn’t, move, her face pale.

Lars collided into Catherine, tackling her to the ground, just as Stevonnie ran to them. They stood over Lars and Catherine, shield raised overhead to meet the swords of the Holo-Pearls with a metal clank..

Stevonnie glared up at them and their empty red eyes.

“ _Parry_ ,” Stevonnie said as they bashed their shield upward, smashing all three Holo-Pearls against the ceiling.

**“DEFEAT ACCEPTED!”** the Holo-Pearls all said as they flickered out of existence.

Stevonnie exhaled a sigh of relief. Everyone stared where the Holo-Pearls had been for a moment.

Pearl, whose cheeks were flushed blue, finally said, “Perhaps I should maybe use the Holo-Pearls less  ...”

Lars, who was still on the floor from tackling Catherine, looked up.

“YEAH, GOOD-- GOOD FREAKING IDEA THERE, MAYBE!” he shouted.

Jeff and Peedee ran to Lars and Catherine. Peedee leaned down.

“Hey there, you okay?” Peedee asked.

Catherine blinked, the sword now at her side as she was sprawled on the floor.

“Wow ...” she mumbled. “You really saved me.”

Lars gave a surprisingly genuine smile.

“Well hey, it’s not a big deal or--”

Catherine then pushed Lars off of her and turned her full attention to Stevonnie.

“ _That was amazing_!” Catherine said. “You’re so cool! You’ve gotta be related to Connie somehow, right?”

“... what,” Stevonnie said..

_Is this_ still _all she’s going on about?!_ Connie thought. Stevonnie’s anger was boiling, especially when they noticed Lars’s dejected look after being so dismissed. They gritted their teeth.

Peedee and Sapphire seemed to be the first to notice.

“Um ... I think we should all go check and make sure the rest of the house is fine,” Peedee said.

Jeff raised an eyebrow.

“But the Holo-Pearls didn’t do anything to the rest of the--”

“Yeah, but _let’s go make sure_.” Peedee shot Lars a look, who only shrugged sadly in return.

Sapphire clutched Ruby’s hand as she said, “Yes. Let’s.”

Pearl and Amethyst looked at each other, getting the hint. Slowly, everyone aside from Stevonnie and Catherine filed out of the room.

Catherine, however, seemed oblivious to all of this. “I mean, you’ve gotta be related to her, right?” she said, getting more and more excited. “I mean you have the pink shield thing and she has the pink sword, so it’s pretty obvious. Do you fight monsters too? Is she here too? She’s not in any kind of trouble or anything, is she ...”

Catherine went on yammering while Stevonnie grit their teeth so hard they thought they were about to split in half. They could feel Steven trying to quell their anger, but to no avail. Connie’s frustration had reached a fever pitch.

“Hey, are you okay?” Catherine said finally.

_I am 100% done with this person,_ Connie thought.

Stevonnie opened her mouth to say something, but instead there was a loud pop and ...

* * *

And suddenly Connie and Steven both fell to the floor.

Connie craned her head up to look at Catherine, who was in shock.

“What the-- what just happened?” Catherine said. She looked to both of them. “Connie? Steven? That ...” She blinked. “Was that a costume or something or--”

Connie grasped Catherine by the sash, pulling herself up.

“ _What is your problem?!_ ” Connie shouted, glaring at Catherine.

Catherine’s eyes went wide.

“Wha-what?” she stammered.

Steven got up from the floor.

“H-hey, Connie, let’s just calm down for a sec--”

But Connie was too caught up in her rage to even respond. Her eyes remained fixed on Catherine.

“I mean ...” Connie said, getting to her feet and walking next to the dull sword. “What were you thinking showing up at Steven’s house with an angry mob _holding a weapon_?!” She kicked it towards Catherine.

Catherine immediately scrambled to pick it up from the floor and hugged it to herself, like a child holding a blanket.

“I just ... well ...” Catherine’s face was red. “I ... _we_ all thought maybe you and Steven weren’t at the dance because you were in some kind of trouble so ...”

Connie’s fingers dug so hard into her hands she thought they might start to bleed.

“I wasn’t at the dance because _I didn’t want to go_ ,” Connie said. “The only thing I wanted tonight was to have fun with my friends and maybe dance with my best friend without being scrutinized by everyone! Like ... have a good time with some degree of privacy for once! That is until half the school showed up here like _I was about to be burned at the stake_!”

Catherine shrunk her head into her shoulders, backing away.

“I ... well ... I just ...” She stammered. “I ... didn’t know that. I could see how maybe that looks a little bad. I just wanted to see you have a fun time and ... and help if there was trouble or ....”

“ _Oh_!” Connie shouted. “That’s what you were trying to do?! What exactly were you planning on doing if I WAS fighting something dangerous? What specifically was bringing a bunch of untrained civilians with SPORKS supposed to actually do?” She started to shake. “Someone else could have been hurt or killed! You didn’t know what might have been going on, but you led TONS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE RIGHT TO POSSIBLE DANGER. I wasn’t even fighting a monster and you STILL almost died and it’s entirely because you were waving a weapon around! If you hadn’t done _anything_ , everything would have been fine! You have no idea how lucky you were! Not to mention Lars also risked his life to save your skin and you didn’t even thank him! That’s another person that could have gotten hurt and _it would have been all your fault_!”

“I ...” Catherine shuddered. “I--I just wanted to help--”

Connie knew she was being harsh, but found herself unable to stop.

“Well, _you didn’t_! Clearly the best thing you can do to help me is to just stay away from me and stay out of my life and not drag other people into your ... your FANTASY or whatever this is before you get someone hurt! I DON’T THINK THAT’S ASKING FOR MUCH!”

Connie’s chest heaved up and down, her heart pounding from the rush of venting.

However, the rush subsided as she looked at Catherine’s face. Her lip quivered and Connie saw moisture in her eyes.

Suddenly, Connie processed everything she said and how angry it must have sounded. Her chest sank.

“Um ...” Connie said.

Before Connie could continue, Catherine put one hand over her face as she quietly sobbed.

“Hey um, look, I’m sorry, I just--”

“No, you’re right,” Catherine said, her voice cracking. She hugged her sword close. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I’m sorry.” She shut her reddened eyes. “ _I’m so sorry_!”

She rushed out the Beach House doors, the screen door slamming shut behind her.

Connie stared as she left, a sickened feeling in her gut.

She felt Steven’s hand on her shoulder. She turned to see the distressed look on Steven’s face. Connie sighed. Steven didn’t even have to say anything; Connie knew she messed up.

“I’ll ... try to talk to her ...” Connie said.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up too much,” Steven said. “You just got upset. Don’t feel like you’re a bad person or anything.”

Connie gave a weak smile.

“... thanks,” Connie said. “You always know just what to say.”

“Y-yeah,” Steven said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess being fused with someone will do that.”

Connie gave a nod before she sighed and walked outside.

* * *

Catherine sat on the bottom of the Beach House steps. She wanted to run all the way home, but that was as far as she could get before breaking down crying. Her eyes were rubbed raw.

All the other students were long gone. None of them stayed after the weird ghost things pulled out swords. None of them seemed to care if she had been alright or not ...

Catherine wanted to be mad, but she supposed she couldn't be. After all, she hadn’t thought much of their safety until now either. She’d only been focused on what she wanted.

Connie was right; she had been stupid.

Catherine felt a sob escape her throat as she hugged the sword closer. How could she have been so stupid? She should have just stayed home alone. At least then she wouldn’t have endangered others with how moronic she was.

In that moment, she wished she hadn’t even been born at all; she was just an accident anyway.

She hung her head low until she heard footsteps behind her.

She turned to see Connie descending the steps. She stood next to Catherine, hands fidgeting in front of her.

“Um ... hey,” Connie said. If Catherine didn’t know better, she would have thought Connie was nervous. It couldn’t be that. She was probably just creeped out Catherine was still there.

Catherine twisted away.

“Sorry,” Catherine mumbled. “I didn’t mean to stay here. I--I’ll go ahead and go.”

But as Catherine was getting up, Connie held her hand out.

“No, wait, stop. Please!”

Catherine stopped and sat down. Connie sighed and settled next to her.

“Look, I’m really sorry for what I said,” Connie said, eyes downcast. “I ... I was really stressed out about a lot of things and I took a lot of that out on you and ... and that probably wasn’t fair.”

Catherine sat the sword in her lap.

“No,” Catherine said. “No, you were right. I really wasn’t thinking. I was just ... caught up in wanting to see you and Steven. I ... guess I got carried away. Like _a lot_ carried away.”

“Why was that so important to you?” Connie asked.

Catherine shrugged.

“I just think you guys are cool ... and I guess seeing you happy might make _me_ happy.” Catherine lowered her voice. “And ... I guess a lot of it was thinking seeing that might make me forget bad stuff in my life I didn’t want to deal with ...”

Catherine could feel Connie staring at her, but mercifully, she didn’t ask for details.

“I ... guess I can understand that,” Connie said. “When I first started hanging out with Steven, I liked how wonderful his life was compared to mine. And I might have even used it as a way of avoiding problems with my mom and dad ... so I understand.” She clutched her knee. “But ... as much as I get a lot of people at school think I’m great, I ... I can’t be responsible for everyone’s happiness all the time. I’m not as amazing as people think I am. I haven’t got everything all figured out and ... feeling like everyone thinks that and expects me to be incredible wore me down a lot. I just wanted to feel normal. And ... that’s why I didn’t go to the dance. And also why I ... kinda blew up the way I did.”

Catherine listened to Connie’s words and nodded.

“I guess I can see that,” Catherine said. She chuckled. “It’s kinda crazy to me you’d be insecure though. I mean, you’re smart and you fight monsters or ... whatever--”

“Aliens.”

“ _Really_?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. I thought it was vampires.” Catherine shook her head. “But anyway ... yeah, you fight aliens. And you’re popular and everyone loves you. Like ... you have everything. I know I get insecure because of stuff at home and not having a lot of friends and ... I don’t get why you’d feel as insecure as me.”

“I think everyone feels insecure about the things they don’t have,” Connie said. “And I wasn’t always like this. I never even had any friends before Steven. I still only have a couple.”

“I ... I guess I never thought someone like you would have problems like that.”

“Someone like me?”

“Yeah. Someone cool.”

Connie laughed.

“Well ... I still don’t think of myself as cool ...” Connie said.

Catherine gave a weak smile before frowning.

“Sorry about ... everything,” Catherine said. “I’d understand if you want me to kinda ... not talk to you anymore.”

“I don’t want you to stop talking to me,” Connie said. “I just want personal space. And it’s really not just you, it’s just ... in general.” Connie grinned. “I actually enjoy talking to you more now that you’re not, you know ... trying to hero worship me the whole time.”

Catherine’s eyes went wide.

“Oh yeah ... I guess I was too upset to even be nervous about it like normal,” Catherine said. She chuckled. “Funny how that works out ...”

“Yeah ...” Connie gently put her hand on Catherine’s shoulder. “I ... hope you feel a little better now.”

Catherine gave a smile.

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s like you said. You shouldn’t have to be responsible for my happiness. But ... I appreciate you asking.”

Catherine lingered for a moment before she stood up.

“I really should go. I realized there’s someone I owe an apology.”

“Okay,” Connie said. She gave a wave. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? It’s good to have a new friend.”

Catherine blinked.

“You’d really consider me a friend after all that?” Catherine said.

Connie nodded.

Catherine felt her eyes get moist, but she held it back.

“I’d like that,” Catherine said. “I hope the rest of your party goes okay ...”

Catherine walked down the steps. As she walked, she exhaled and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed Alexis’s number.

It answered after one ring.

“Yeah?” Alexis said, more concerned than angry.

“Um ... hey Alexis,” Catherine said as she stepped onto the sand. “I um ... I really wanted to say I’m sorry about before. Um ...w-was the offer to come over still on the table?”

There was a long pause then a good natured laugh.

“It’s always on the table, dummy,” Alexis said.

And at that point, Catherine realized the rest of the evening could still be something worth looking forward to.

* * *

Connie got back to the house just as Lars put his coat on in the doorway.

“Well, fun party, almost got murdered twice and everything,” Lars said. He shouted back inside. “Steven, if you ever invite me to anything ever again, I’m calling the police.” He stepped down the stairs.

Steven appeared in the doorway and waved.

“Okay Lars, thanks for being a big hero! See you tomorrow!” Steven said.

“ _See you tomorrow, I guess_ ,” Lars groaned out as he walked right past Connie.

As Connie approached Steven, his eyes went wide. Before he could say anything, Connie smiled.

“I settled things,” Connie said. “She was actually alright to talk to after we both calmed down.

Steven grinned.

“Good,” he said. He frowned. “I’m sorry the dance kinda got spoiled and everything...”

As he said that, Jeff and Peedee approached behind him.

“Are you kidding?!” Jeff said, excited. “This dance was _awesome_! And I got to see Stevonnie fight a bunch of holograms! And nobody got hurt! I think this was awesome.”

Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, and Pearl walked up.

“Yeah, it could have been a lot worse,” Amethyst said.

“Yes. It could,” Sapphire said.

Peedee gave a sly smile.

“Besides, who says it's over?” Peedee said. “It’s Friday night.”

Connie smiled.

“Hey, yeah,” Connie said. “We could stay up all night if we wanted to!”

Steven, Peedee, and Jeff all smiled. Steven raised his hands and shouted, “WHOO!”

Pearl grimaced and raised a finger.

“Um, no, you can’t,” Pearl said.

Connie and the other kids groaned, as did Amethyst.

The corner of Pearl’s mouth turned upward.

“But a couple more hours before bed won’t hurt,” Pearl said.

Connie smiled so wide her cheeks started to work. Jeff pumped his fists.

“YEAH!” Jeff said. “Peedee, want to dance again?”

“Jeff, _I’m only one man_ ,” Peedee said playfully.

Connie felt Steven’s hand brush against hers. They smiled at each other.

“More dancing sounds pretty fun, I think,” Connie said, grateful for the time she had at this dance. It was the most memorable party she had ever gone to, save Steven’s birthday party.

Even though she didn’t normally like parties, part of her wished this one never had to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: A mini-chapter. Something Completely Different. Scenes of gems in therapy with Jeff's mom!


	11. Interlude: The Gem Therapy Sessions

**Morning Appointment: Pearl**

* * *

“So ... how exactly does this work?” Pearl said once she sat on the couch in the therapist’s office.

Dr. Brooks sat in a chair across from her. There was a notepad in her lap, but she was giving Pearl her full attention. She smiled politely.

“I’ll explain in a moment,” Dr. Brooks said. “First, try to relax. Take a few deep breaths.”

“I ... don’t actually need to breathe,” Pearl said with a nervous laugh.

Dr. Brooks chuckled. “Do me a favor and try anyway.”

“Alright.” Pearl settled her hands in her lap and inhaled deeply, followed by a slow exhale.

Pearl looked around the office, which was reassuring enough. It was warmly lit. There was a picture of a pretty green field on the wall, as well as a water cooler in the corner. It didn’t strike Pearl at all what she thought an office was supposed to look like. It didn’t even have a desk.

Despite logically knowing she got no physical benefit from breathing, she found her shoulders release tension once she finished breathing. Pearl smiled.

“Better?” Dr. Brooks asked.

“Yes, actually.” Pearl gave a giggle. “I can see why you humans do it so much.”

“Desire to remain living helps as well.” Dr. Brooks laced her hands together. “Now, first sessions are mostly about gathering information. Getting to know you, basically.”

Pearl frowned.

“You think I may need more than one session?” Pearl asked.

“It all depends,” Brooks said. “Every person’s situation is different. I assume Gems would be no different.”

Pearl gave a weak smile.

“You’re handling the idea I’m an alien very well,” Pearl said. “I was afraid you’d think I was a human who was simply delusional.”

Dr. Brooks grinned.

“You can thank my son for making me aware of Gems beforehand. That will make this session much more productive, I hope.” Dr. Brooks picked up her pad. “So to start, please tell me a little about yourself.”

Pearl stiffened.

“You want me to talk about my problems or--”

Dr. Brooks gave a shrug.

“Just a little information in general about you and your life for starters will be fine. Whenever necessary, I may interrupt to lead the conversation in a specific direction to explore further. But yes, tell me about yourself.”

“Well I ...” Pearl grimaced. “That ... may be difficult. There’s so much about my life I’m unable to talk about.”

Dr. Brooks raised an eyebrow.

“How so? Is it uncomfortable or--”

Involuntarily, Pearl’s hand went to her mouth. She glared, unable to speak.

Dr. Brooks blinked, for the first time confused.

“I’m ... sorry, did I say something wrong?” she said.

Pearl grabbed her hand with her other and forced it down. It took all her willpower to keep it from springing up again.

“No ... _that’s_ why it’s hard for me to talk about some things,” Pearl said, irritated. “My design makes me incapable of speaking about certain ...” Pearl felt her hand shake. She took a breath to steady it. “Certain _incidents_ in my past.”

“Oh.” Dr. Brooks rubbed her chin. “I see. That’s ... a unique situation.”

Pearl frowned.

“I--I’m sorry, I feel as if I’m already wasting your time--”

“It’s alright, Pearl,” Dr. Brooks said. “Simply tell me what you are able to talk about for now and we’ll focus on other matters later.”

Pearl thought for a moment. What could she possibly talk about that would _actually_ be productive?

After a moment, her eyes widened.

_Oh_ , she thought. _Of course_.

Pearl took another deep breath, still unable to fully relax.

“Well ... I suppose there are a few things I can talk about,” Pearl said. “... during my period of servitude, which is what is _demanded_ of my kind ... I met ... someone.”

There was a long pause.

“Her name was Rose ...”

* * *

Pearl wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but at some point she ended up speaking about ... well, everything (or at least, everything she physically could.) Rose, the war, Greg, Rose giving up her physical form, training Connie, the trip to Empire City, the night she almost got arrested ...

Dr. Brooks only occasionally chimed in, allowing Pearl to talk at length. Mostly she took notes.

Pearl sighed. Somehow, she’d ended up on the subject of the incident with Steven and the scabbard.

“... and then he almost fell. He caught himself and I saw he was okay but I ... I couldn’t even help him up,” Pearl said, her voice heavy with disgust. “He could have died.”

“But you made certain he was alright?” Brooks said, looking up from her pad.

“Yes, of course but ... still ...” Pearl sat up, clutching her Gem. “I should have done more. Just making him crawl up vines after he almost fell ... what kind of mother does that?”

“You think of yourself as Steven’s mother?”

“What?” Pearl shook her head. “D-did I say that? No I ... well, of course I _feel_ that way but ...” She rubbed her temples. “It doesn’t matter. I’m clearly not cut out for it if I could do something like that. Rose never would have done that.”

“What do you think Rose would have done in that situation, if she was as upset as you were?”

“I ... I don’t know. Not what I did. She would have helped Steven up. She probably wouldn’t have felt upset at all. She would have known just what to do like always.”

Dr. Brooks crossed her legs. Pearl looked at the doctor, then at the pad in her lap.

“Is it okay for me to ask what you’ve written?” Pearl said.

“Just notes to help jog my memory on what you’ve told me.” Brooks smiled. “Were you concerned I was writing something else?”  
  
Pearl smiled nervously.

“I was beginning to worry you were simply writing the word ‘crazy’ and underlining it over and over again.”

Dr. Brooks laughed. “Well, it’s not that. I promise.”

“Good.” Pearl leaned back against the couch. “May I ask what you think though? Honestly.”

“Honestly?”

Pearl nodded, preparing herself for whatever the doctor said. She only hoped it didn’t involved demanding Pearl turn herself into human prison to keep herself away from society.

Dr. Brooks sat her notepad down and looked Pearl in the eyes.

“I think you don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said.

Pearl stared at her blankly.

“I-I’m sorry, what?” Pearl asked.

“That’s my impression, anyway.” Brooks picked up her pad and read over it. “That’s not to say you’ve never had problems and situations where you’ve dealt with things poorly--”

“ _Ya think?!”_ Pearl exclaimed, sounding entirely too much like Amethyst.

“But the point is that you’re making positive progress.” Brooks clasped her hands together. “You were able to go from a life of slavery and war to raising a child. And of course you’ve made some mistakes. Coming from that life is bound to make emotions more difficult to handle. It’s not helped by the complicated grief you’ve had to deal with concerning the loss of Rose but ...” Brooks leaned forward. “The fact is you’re functioning. You’re taking care of Steven, making sure he has a good life. You have friends and a healthy support system now. By your own admission, you’re trying to move on from the past.”

“But ... but it took me so long to even try, I--”

“Yes, but you’re still _trying_. Part of moving on from the past is forgiving yourself for mistakes, not punishing yourself for them. You’re already learning from those mistakes.”

Pearl took it all in. In all of her anxieties over this meeting, she never once considered the possibility that she’d be told she was doing _well_.

“But ... what about Steven? I mean, you just heard me explain what happened. You can’t think that was fine?!”

“You didn’t handle that in the best way you could have, no, but you already know that too. And Steven is safe. Based on what you told me, I can guarantee that if it looked like Steven was going to fall, you wouldn’t have just _let_ him.”

“What? No! I would never!”

“Okay then.”

Pearl blinked then sunk back into the couch.

“So I’m ... fine?” Pearl said. “I don’t need any help?”  
  
“Well, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but I do think there are some ways more therapy could help. Aside from helping you work through moving on and maintaining the progress you’ve already made, there are other things we could work on ... namely your issue with speaking about past events.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think you understand,” Pearl said. “That irregularity was built into my very design by--”

Her right hand tensed up. She could feel herself losing control already. She paused.

“By _someone_.” Pearls hand relaxed. “I-in any event, I don’t think that’s something that can be overcome.”

Brooks held her pen in her hand.

“You’ve mentioned before that pearls are not supposed to be able to fight, correct?”  
  
“Um ... yes, but I fail to see what that has to do with anything.”

“But you still fought in the war.”

“Well, yes.”

“So if you could overcome that, why do you feel this would be any different?”

Pearl stared and realized she didn’t have an answer.

“I can’t promise it is possible to treat because this _is_ a unique situation,” Brooks said, “but I believe there is value in trying.”

Pearl fidgeted with her fingers in her lap.

“I ...” Pearl took another deep breath. She couldn’t believe she might be able to overcome a problem that bothered her this long. And yet ...   “I ... would like to try also.”

Brooks smiled.

“Excellent.” She glanced at her watch. “Well, unfortunately, we’re out of time for today.”

“Oh my.” Pearl gave a nervous chuckle. “I hadn’t realized so much time had passed already.”

“Would you like me to make you another appointment?” Brooks asked, gently.

“... yes, I think I would like to.”

* * *

**Afternoon Appointment: Lapis Lazuli**

* * *

“I think everyone would be better off if I was still in the mirror,” Lapis said. Her fists were clenched in her lap. She tried to take breaths to relax like Dr. Brooks had mentioned, but today it wasn’t working.

Dr. Brooks’s pad was in her lap. She appeared completely relaxed, despite what Lapis said, just like always; at first Lapis thought she hated that about her, but she realized more than anything she envied that ability more than anything.

“Why do you think that?” Dr. Brooks asked gently.

“I just ...” Lapis ran a hand through her hair. “It just seems like everyone’s lives would be a lot simpler if they never found out about me. Simpler and probably a lot happier ...” Lapis frowned. She couldn’t believe she was saying this. “I should never have been let out.”

Dr. Brooks glanced at her notes.

“And you feel this way despite the fears of isolation you’ve mentioned before?”

Lapis glared. “I’m not saying I _want_ to go back in the mirror. Just that I _should_.” She gritted her teeth. “If I did that, everyone lives would be a lot less complicated, including mine!”

The water cooler in the corner began to gurgle. Dr. Brooks’s eyes drifted to it, then back to Lapis.

“Alright ... it’s good that you voice those feelings, because we can explore them,” she said carefully. “Can you do me a favor and take a deep breath?”

Lapis hesitated, before she closed her eyes and took a breath. She still felt tense, but at least the water cooler stopped shaking.

“Sorry ...” Lapis muttered.

“It’s okay,” Dr. Brooks said. “It didn’t burst this time, so that shows you’re improving your coping mechanisms when you feel this way.”

“Barely managing to avoid breaking something seems like a pretty low bar to set,” Lapis said bitterly.

“I feel you shouldn’t dismiss the progress you’ve made, no matter how small. It’s still progress.”

Lapis wasn’t entirely convinced of that, but let the subject drop.

Dr. Brooks laced her fingers together.

“You think your life would be less complicated if you were in the mirror, even though you’re afraid of going back to it,” Dr. Brooks said. “What sort of complications are you thinking of?”

Lapis sighed.

“I don’t know. Everything, I guess ...” Lapis paused. “I ... feel like I’ll just hurt everyone if I’m not _away_ from everyone.”

“I see,” Dr. Brooks said. “That’s not an uncommon feeling people have after dealing with significant trauma. And after your time in the mirror as well as the situation you’ve told me about with Jasper--”

Lapis felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

“No, Jasper was different. That wasn’t trauma, _I was the trauma_. I was the bad person, I--”

“Lapis, it’s okay, take a breath,” Dr. Brooks said gently.

“... fine. Fine.” Lapis took a breath.

“As I mentioned last time,” Dr. Brooks continued, “we’re not here to pass judgement or punish you. That’s not productive and that’s not the point of therapy. We’re simply trying to find the tools to help you go through life better than you have before. And also to try to help you like yourself.”

Lapis shook her head.

“... I don’t think I can,” Lapis said. “I mean ... that’s part of why I feel the way I should. I’m afraid of anyone liking me period. After Jasper it ... scares me.” Lapis leaned forward. “Like ... what if I hurt anyone else the same way I hurt Jasper?”

“Again, those fears after trauma are normal,” Dr. Brooks said. “You don’t feel as if you’ve hurt anyone else since then, have you?”

“No, but when I first came out of the mirror I hurt a lot of people, and with Jasper seemed like that was _even worse_.” Lapis groaned. “I’m afraid to even get the opportunity to do that again by letting someone stay close to me. Like what if I don’t get better, what if I hurt Steven or Peridot or ... or anyone else who is unlucky enough to be around me?”

“Ah yes, you’ve mentioned Peridot before,” Dr. Brooks said. “She’s your roommate, correct?”

Lapis nodded.

“She’s always trying to help me and make me feel better and ...” Lapis pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest on the couch. “And frankly I’m really worried about that. Because the only other person I’ve ever gotten close to is Jasper and all we ever did was hurt each other. Or ... I hurt her, I ... I dunno ...”

“Hm,” Dr. Brooks said. “And Peridot, does she know you feel this way?”

Lapis blinked.

“No, of course not,” Lapis said. “That would ... she already worries too much about me already. If I told her that, she’d go overboard. She’d probably bend over backwards to try to fix the problem right then. And if she keeps doing that, it’ll hurt her back or something.”  
  
Dr. Brooks stared for a moment. “... she literally bends over backwards?”

“Yeah.” Lapis managed a small smile. “It was cute the first couple times ...”

“Ah,” Dr. Brooks said. “Well ... I feel if you haven’t communicated this to her, it would be a good idea to. She might not understand at first, but if she means that much to you, you both owe it to each other to say how you’re feeling.”

“You don’t think that would end up hurting her?”

“Well, serious subjects aren’t always the most fun to talk about, but speaking about them is a healthy way of dealing with it,” Dr. Brooks said. “I think channelling your feelings via artistic expression is a great start and you’ve done well with it. Speaking about it directly is a natural next step.”

Lapis glanced at the floor.

“You make it sound so easy ...” Lapis said.

“It’s not,” Dr. Brooks said. “Speaking honestly about how we feel is one of the hardest thing to do for many people, but in the long run, it’s worth it. And if Peridot is as caring as she sounds, I’m sure she’ll understand once she fully processes it, as will the others you’re closest to. I think you’ll feel much better doing that than putting yourself in further isolation. After all, isolation is part of why you started feeling depressed in the first place.”

Lapis sighed.

“That’s a good point. I guess I could try talking about it  ...” Lapis said. After a moment, she looked Dr. Brooks in the eye. “Will this ever get easier? I mean ... talking to people ...”

“It will, over time. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And even though I know why you’re frightened, I want you to know you are making progress in positive directions. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Every little bit counts.”

“Okay ...” Lapis said, trying to process everything Dr. Brooks said. “... I guess if I was still in the mirror, Peridot might ... not necessarily be better off. She might be lonelier so ... I guess that’s one good thing at least.”

Dr. Brooks nodded.

“That’s a good way of looking at it,” Dr. Brooks said. “I’m glad to hear you say that. That’s a huge step from where you were just a few sessions ago.”

Lapis let out a short chuckle. She wasn’t sure if the doctor was simply exaggerating her accomplishments to make her feel better ... but it was nice to hear regardless.

“Thanks ...” Lapis said.

Dr. Brooks glanced at her watch.

“Well ... I think that’s a good stopping point for today,” Dr. Brooks said. “Would you like to come same time next week?”  
  
“Yeah ...” Lapis raised herself out of her chair. She glanced at the water cooler. The water was now completely still. Lapis hadn’t realized it till then, but she actually felt ... relaxed. That was the first time she had felt that way during therapy.

That was reassuring. Maybe talking to Peridot wouldn’t go so poorly after all.

“I’ll ... let you know how it goes,” Lapis said to Dr. Brooks.

* * *

**Closing Time**

* * *

It was almost time to close the office. Dr. Brooks’s last appointment for the day had cancelled and, with no other work to do, she took a few minutes to engage in intellectual pursuits.

Which is a fancy way of saying she was reading a digest comic she got at the grocery store.

“Ethel, Jughead clearly isn’t into you, you need to move on ...” Dr. Brooks muttered.

Dr. Brooks checked her watch, then glanced outside the window. It was starting to get dark outside. She closed the comic.

“I suppose I can call it a day a few minutes early,” she mumbled.

She grabbed her coat, tucked the comic in the inside pocket, and opened the front door ...

And saw a tiny green person with a triangle head, fist raised as if she were about to knock.

Dr. Brooks’s eyes went wide.

_A Gem?_ Dr. Brooks thought.

“Oh I’m sorry, can I help you?” Dr. Brooks said, stepping into her professional mindset.

The green Gem stared at Brooks, then gave a nervous smile.

“Oh um ... hi!” she said. “I um ...” The Gem grimaced. “I’m Peridot.” She held up her hand. “I suppose I have to touch your hand to greet you now.”

Dr. Brooks gave a smile. _Ah, so this is Peridot,_ she thought as she shook Peridot’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Dr. Brooks said.

“Yes ...” Peridot fidgeted her hands together. Dr. Brooks didn’t need to be a psychiatrist to know she was nervous. “I ... suppose Lapis probably mentioned me at some point.”

Dr. Brooks hesitated. She took doctor-patient confidentiality seriously, after all.

“I believe so,” Dr. Brooks said with a smile.

“Ah yes ...” Peridot gulped. “All ... good stuff, I hope?”

Dr. Brooks frowned.

“I really can’t go into specifics, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Dr. Brooks said.

“Ah. Yes. Well ... good ...” Peridot said.

There was an awkward pause. An uneasy feeling washed over Dr. Brooks.

“Was that what you wanted to come and ask about?” Dr. Brooks said.

“What?” Peridot’s cheeks flushed. “No no, I was simply just in the neighborhood um ....” Peridot glanced at the ground and picked up a large piece of gravel. “Looking for this rock! Cause ... cause I’m a rock.”

“Ah,” Dr. Brooks said. “I see.”

“Right.” Peridot clutched it in her hands. “Well ... now that I’ve found the unremarkable Earth stone I was looking for, I should be off then.”

“Okay!” Dr. Brooks smiled. “I was just closing up as well. It was very nice meeting you, Peridot.”

“Yes ... of course ...” Peridot said, almost mumbling.

Dr. Brooks turned around and locked the office door. She was about to walk to her car, when she felt a tiny hand grip hers.

Dr. Brooks turned around. Peridot had dropped the stone and was now looking up at her, sweat dripping down the Gem on her forehead.

“Is it me?” Peridot asked, frantically.

“I ... what?” Dr. Brooks said.

“With Lapis. I ... I thought my companionship with her was a benefit to her issues but ...” Peridot breathing turned rapid. “But if she had to seek care from your Earth facilities, I think I may have made a miscalculation. Perhaps I’m not helping. Perhaps I’m ... making things worse.”

“What? No, Peridot, I--”

“No, I have to know. You don’t understand. I’m a Peridot. My function is to fix things! I still thought I could apply that skill on Earth. But if Lapis still feels bad despite my best efforts, I must be doing it improperly! Just ...” Peridot’s eyes teared up. “Just please tell me, am I making it worse? Is it me? Am I the reason she has to come here?”

Dr. Brooks could only stare in stunned silence.

Peridot’s face contorted as she wiped her face.

“Sorry,” she said.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Dr. Brooks said, her training kicking in. “Listen, Peridot, I ... would you like to speak to me in my office for a moment? Talking more might make you feel better.”

Peridot, through teary eyes, raised an eyebrow.

“Are you going to try to use your primitive human mind science on me?” Peridot said.

Dr. Brooks glanced away. “Well ... yes,” she said.

Peridot paused for a moment.

“Alright, I suppose I could do that,” she said in a cracked voice.

Dr. Brooks unlocked the door of her office and opened it.

“Oh um ...” Dr. Brooks said. “I usually charge a fee, but just this once I can make an exception since--”

“Oh no.” Peridot wiped her face, sniffling as she did. “I’d be happy to compensate you, um ...” Peridot glanced around and picked up the same stone from before. “Please accept this.”

Dr. Brooks glanced at the rock, then back to Peridot’s face.

“I’ll ... send you a bill, don’t worry about it,” she said.

“I see,” Peridot said. She threw the rock down and followed Dr. Brooks inside.

* * *

At some point in the next hour, Peridot ended up sitting on the sofa with a pile of tissues next to her. She blew her nose as soon as she finished recounting her experiences coming to this planet, meeting all her friends, living with Lapis ...

The human Dr. Brooks sat across from her with a smile, taking notes (objectively inefficient notes, Peridot thought, since they were on paper instead of on a screen, but she appreciated the quaint attempt).

“It seems like you’ve gone through a lot of changes in a very short amount of time,” Dr. Brooks said. “That’s impressive. Not a lot of people can handle that many life changes as well as you have.”

“... that observation is appreciated,” Peridot said. “However, I should point out, I’m not a ‘people’ by Earth definition.”

Dr. Brooks leaned forward.

“I think you might underestimate humans, because you certainly fit my definition of a person.”

For some reason, Peridot felt a warm feeling in her chest. She gave a small smile.

“Wow ... thanks,” Peridot said.

Dr. Brooks leaned back.

“Having said that, dealing with dramatic life changes, especially many of them rapidly, will naturally cause stress. A new place, new friends ... it can be scary, especially if you’re afraid of losing any of them.”

“That ... seems like a logical assessment,” Peridot said. She frowned. “I certainly don’t want to make anyone worse by making a mistake. I simply want to make everything better.”

“I assume you’re thinking of Lapis?”

Peridot gulped and nodded.

Dr. Brooks rested her hands on her lap.

“It’s good that you care so much about her, and all of your friends, but ... when it comes to mental health, you cannot fix anyone for them. My profession isn’t about ‘fixing’, it’s about helping people find ways to deal with the thoughts and emotions that they have difficulty with on their own. There’s nothing to fix because needing help doesn’t mean you’re broken.”

Peridot felt a sinking feeling in her chest.

“So ... there’s really nothing I can do,” Peridot said.

“That’s not true,” Dr. Brooks said. “You’ve done a lot already. You sound like you’re a good friend, you offer Lapis emotional support, and you both use art to express your feelings in a healthy way. I promise you, all those things are a big help.”

“But ... she still feels sad sometimes.”

“That’s okay. Just because someone doesn’t feel okay all the time doesn’t mean you’re not helping. You cannot judge mental health progress as ‘all or nothing’ like that.”

Peridot paused.

“I see ...” Peridot said. “It’s ... not natural for me to think in such a way. Homeworld was very much a culture where success and failure were binary. Everything on Earth seems much more _complicated_.”

“It is,” Dr. Brooks said. “But I like to think most of those complications are good. It’s important to know that just because everything isn’t idealistic, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.”

Peridot nodded.

“... you’ve given me a lot to think about,” Peridot said.

“Now ... if you want my advice, I would make sure you communicate these fears to Lapis as well,” Dr. Brooks said. “It’s good to be concerned for others wellbeing, but you can’t ignore your own.”

“That ... makes sense ...” Peridot shrunk in the couch. “I suppose I should ...” She sighed. “I suppose I should have asked her about this therapy in the first place instead of sneaking here to ask you.”

Dr. Brooks laughed.

“Well, this is a learning process. Next time you’re concerned about how Lapis might feel about you, try asking her first, before you allow your anxieties to get the better of you and imagine every possible worst case scenario.”

“Right ...” Peridot said.

Dr. Brooks glanced at her watch.

“Well, I’d love to talk more, but I really should get home to Jeff,” Dr. Brooks said. “If you felt like this helped, you can make another appointment.”

“I ... will consider it,” Peridot said. “I should try to apply what you’ve said first.”

“I understand,” Dr. Brooks said nodding.

Peridot got down from the couch.

“Thank you for your assistance, ma’am,” Peridot said. “It seems there might be something to your human mind techniques. It’s quite the fascinating topic, as is a lot of what I’ve encountered on Earth.”

“Yes,” Dr. Brooks said with a wry smile. “I think Earth’s pretty cool too.”

“Agreed.” Peridot strode to the front door and opened it. “I’m grateful Steven and I stopped it from blowing up.”

“Yes and-- wait, what?” Dr. Brooks said.

“Um ...” Peridot gulped. “Nothing. Don’t worry about that. Have a nice day, ma’am ...”

Peridot shut the door behind her, only glancing back for a moment at the perplexed look on Dr. Brooks’s face.

* * *

Dr. Brooks started her car and pulled out to head home.

All in all, she felt like this had been a productive day. Her clients were making real progress. She couldn’t be more proud of hem.

Having said that, it would be nice to get home to Jeff, tuck him in, and maybe finish the dumb comic she impulse bought.

Only once during the ride home did her mind drift back to the comment Peridot said at the end of their session.

_That was probably a joke,_ Dr. Brooks decided, a bead of sweat on her forehead. _Yes. Probably._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for [AurigaCapella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AurigaCapella/pseuds/AurigaCapella) for their consultation on writing this chapter. Also thanks to [Swordtheguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordtheguy/pseuds/Swordtheguy), [Silverscribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverScribe/pseuds/SilverScribe), and [br42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/br42/pseuds/br42) for offering valuable feedback during the writing of this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be sure to comment, kudos, and share this story if you enjoyed it.
> 
> If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask on [my tumblr](http://coreyww.tumblr.com/). I love getting questions and feedback.
> 
> Thanks and have a great day!


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